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Need advice....about my almost 1yr old son

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:21 PM
  • 8 Replies

So I've raised my son all by myself since he was born, well practically. His father was there for the first half of his life but then we just got divorced July of last year. Now it is just me. Well since Troy was born he has been a very vocally screamer, I brushed it off because he is a baby after-all....but lately from moving to my moms in Aug he does nothing but cry, he hardly laughs, or smiles. Granted he does smile and laugh everyone in a while but he cries more times then I would like. He has never been the type to cuddle or want to be cuddled. He doesnt sleep though the nights but does have steady nap routine. I cant go out of the room without him crying, my sister or mom cant watch him without him crying because I'm not there. I can't set him down without him crying. If I am doing something like cleaning and not playing with him he has this high pitch cry that is heart breaking. My son is 11 months, and I figured he would have out grown this by now. I know he is stressed out and can feel me stress BUT it doesnt help that I can't do ANYTHING like go to the bathroom without him throwing a fit! Now that he has learned to walk he is getting into everything and when I tell him no it doesnt work and he cries, I smack his hands and well a bigger fit but he doesnt listen to that either and continues to do it. I'm fustrated and feel like crying ALL THE TIME! My family doesnt want to help because he cries all the time, my boyfriend who doesnt have children tries to do his best with him but I'm still at odds. I try to play with him, but he doesnt seem to want me to play with him and then when I do something else because he doesnt want to play he comes up to me and cries for my attention. I dont know what to do...I think I have created a monster...and I dont know how...... :(

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:21 PM
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Replies (1-8):
jessarendt22
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:24 PM

kind of sounds like seperation anxiety that he's having . have you talked to his peditrician about this?

paintedcrimson1
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:35 PM

I'm in the process of finding another pedi but the one we do have just said that he will out grow it. But I think it is far worse....he is happier with everyone else even out of the house but when it comes to me is acts crazy... :(

ProudSingleMum
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 4:51 PM

just let him cry. If you put him down to pee or something, and he starts to cry say "Mommy's right here, you are okay". And then go about your business. Make the time you let him be longer an dlonger...he'll get used to it. (at least that is my opinion)

calgalmeg
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 6:08 PM

DD was the same way- what I did was carry her with a sling when I had to clean, I also sang to her in the shower- it helped so that when she couldn't see me she at least knew I was there.  I also taught her sign language which cut down on the screaming A LOT.  When she could tell me what she wanted and needed it really helped her.  

As for discipline- I started time outs for dangerous issues only, we were at my mom's too and it was not child safe- so every time she did something (like shake the TV stand) I would put her in her crib for a minute.  I would set a loud timer so when it went "ding" she knew she'd get picked up.  At first she freaked but she got use to it and calmed a bit and after a few times left the TV alone.

With the moving and losing Dad (involved or not she was use to seeing him) it's very frustrating for her with all the change and you are the only person she can count on.  After she realizes you are not gone forever when you leave a room she will start to calm down.  It does take time- but it does get better.

 It is never too late to be what you might have been.  - George Elliot

single_and_preg
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:43 PM

My son is 17 months old and he doesnt really act like that, and never did. (except he barely sleeps). My sons father has never been around. (so i dont think your baby is stressed over that, he is too young to understand in my opinion). My son will go to anybody complete strangers, which worries me, but he is very friendly, and hardly ever cries. When we go to someones house that he doesnt know. He makes hiself right at home and acts happy.

I think you should talk to the new DR, maybe he is in pain or something and thats why he is always crying and wants you for comfort.Well i know its stressful, and I hope you figure out why he is crying all the time.

single_and_preg
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:45 PM

Oh and my son just started realizing what NO means, and he stops when i say no, I never really had to discipline him, I would just say NO and distract him so he is occupied with something else, and i think he got the point..

Now if hes like trying to climb in the dishwasher or something i just say NO GET Down, and he will get down and find something else to do.

paintedcrimson1
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 3:28 PM

thank you for all of your advice! I will try it out..hopefully it will work...Ya I am gonig to talk to his doc also...thanks so much

calgalmeg
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 3:54 PM

good luck

Quoting paintedcrimson1:

thank you for all of your advice! I will try it out..hopefully it will work...Ya I am gonig to talk to his doc also...thanks so much


 It is never too late to be what you might have been.  - George Elliot

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