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Is 13 too young to have a boyfriend?

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:13 PM
  • 7 Replies

I was picking up my kids from school today when I heard her friend ask her if she was going to say yes. I asked her what they were talking about. She said that her friend wrote her a note saying that he likes her and wants her to be his girlfriend. He is a good kid, makes good grades and is well behaved in school but I am not really feeling it. My daughter is a good girl, she is in the National Junior Society, a P.E.A.R.L.(junior AKA sorority). The teachers always tell me they wish they had a class full of Dionne's. I don't believe in sheltering kids to the ways of the world. I don't want them to grow up too fast either. What do you guys think?

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:13 PM
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Replies (1-7):
single_and_preg
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:18 PM

I personally think its kinda young, I didnt have my first till 17 (which is kinda old to most people) my b/f when i first met him was real good too, going to college and all, but he lost his virginity at 12....So i think boyfriends will lead to sex, and I think 13 is too young for that.

calgalmeg
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:25 PM

I think it will be fine as long as you keep an eye on her. Driving them out for a date seems harmless- they can't get into too much trouble if you are there.

As for the sex bit... I'd talk to her about boundaries and consequences and make sure you don't leave any openings for it.  You can't keep her from dating if she really wants to.

My ex told me in high school some girl would give him BJs between classes... so really - what's a mom to do you know?  Make sure she knows the whole safe sex business and that oral has consequences too... and what can happen to her at school if people find out.  Peer pressure can work for you too- and kids can be really cruel.  

I'll never forget the mean things they said about this one really sweet girl in our class that just really liked the guys, it was totally uncalled for- even the guys that slept with her made fun of her- it was horrible I just hope she never heard it.

 It is never too late to be what you might have been.  - George Elliot

Bridger
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:26 PM

If you try to stop something like this, it will still happen except you will have alienated your child. So I would say just really keep communication open and most def talk with her about sex and let her know if she ever thinks she might be going to do that with someone to talk to you first so you can get her bc first (and lock her in the castle tower, but don't let her know thats really what you will do, lol).

Bridgette
gabbyem22
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:31 PM

This is tough...I definitely think it is too young, but perhaps with a parent present with a group so it is not date like...kwim? 

I would make it so they were always with a group AND a parent was there...just my two cents

tyfry7496
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:35 PM

 Way too young. NO child needs to date before 16. They are not emotionally ready to date.

sweetbamabrown
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 12:16 AM

To be honest, I hadn't planned on taking them anywhere. I think seeing each other at school is fine but I am not sure about actually going out on a date. You best believe that if I do agree to them going somewhere I will be there. Hopefully , his mom will too. I talk to my oldest 3 kids about sex often. I don't keep anything from them. They know the consequences of sex through and through. I am a medical assistant and my books from school have come in real handy when talking to them about STD's. The pics scare the crap out of them.  I do let them know about peer pressure and what a bitch it can be.

Quoting calgalmeg:

I think it will be fine as long as you keep an eye on her. Driving them out for a date seems harmless- they can't get into too much trouble if you are there.

As for the sex bit... I'd talk to her about boundaries and consequences and make sure you don't leave any openings for it.  You can't keep her from dating if she really wants to.

My ex told me in high school some girl would give him BJs between classes... so really - what's a mom to do you know?  Make sure she knows the whole safe sex business and that oral has consequences too... and what can happen to her at school if people find out.  Peer pressure can work for you too- and kids can be really cruel.  

I'll never forget the mean things they said about this one really sweet girl in our class that just really liked the guys, it was totally uncalled for- even the guys that slept with her made fun of her- it was horrible I just hope she never heard it.


sweetbamabrown
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 12:28 AM

I know I can't stop it. I have made a pact with myself that I wouldn't be like my mom was with me and my siblings. Instead of her talking to us, and trusting us to do right she just sheltered us and it really backfired. Buckwild is an understatement. They know that they can come to me and ask me anything. Trust me they have.  I have been asked some of everything pertaining to sex. I just tell them like it is. I have talked to my oldest 2 girls about b.c. They have gotten it at school also. She better not even think about having sex anytime soon. Like until she gets out of college but I have to be realistic and know that no matter what I say they are going to do their thing. I think stranding my girls on a remote island is even better! Just think I have 4 girls and a boy. It is going to be a bumpy road.

Quoting Bridger:

If you try to stop something like this, it will still happen except you will have alienated your child. So I would say just really keep communication open and most def talk with her about sex and let her know if she ever thinks she might be going to do that with someone to talk to you first so you can get her bc first (and lock her in the castle tower, but don't let her know thats really what you will do, lol).


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