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He hasn't sent me any money............

He hasn't sent me any money yet but he is trying to convince me to get back together with him......He has some nerve. He basically tried to tell me the other day that he can't afford to send money to me untill he gets on his feet. He was like I needed to come back to him and I wouldn't have to work, and our kids would have every thing they needed. Yeah, but a happy mom and a stressfree household. Our oldest has a birthday coming up and I bet you I won't even see anything for that. He says he will send it but it will be late. Yeah right. I am so fed up with him, I feel like just loosing contact entirely. Do you ever feel like that, do you think it is an awful idea? Mind you my kids are very young and there dad has a drug and alcohol problem. I almost think it is best. That is what my mom did. And I am kind of glad she did. 

PS Ladies, my question is should I loose complete contact with him?  The question is not should I go back with him, I know better.  I had to edit this because I don't want any condesending reply's.  Please be positive.  Thank you. 
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 12:02 AM
Replies (11-13):
Mylifemyson
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 10:13 AM
They will take it out of his paycheck, they just take forever doing so. You really have to stay on the folks at child support. I stayed on my case almost three times a week. I started getting mine after about five months after I filed. Believe me, you will start to get it. You need to call them during the week to see what they are doing with it so it stays on top of their files.
modia
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 10:14 AM
It takes some time for the courts and then if they do garnish his wages he can quit his job and it takes forever to find him again. As for the question, yes I would sever all ties to him, I dont talk to any of my "sperm donors" cause they are worthless and the kids dont need to be around them, one out of 3 sends money have gone to court abunch of times for the other 2 but it does no good, cause one dont work, and the other quits his job as soon as they find him. you dont need the stress of raising your kids and having to deal with his crap its not worth it.
stairstepinmoma
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 10:51 AM

Quoting Mylifemyson:

Don't lose contact with him but in the same breath, don't call him. If he calls you that's fine, if you want to answer the phone. You don't have to call him anymore. And yes, it is best that you are not with him. The money..........don't stress over it. Is it possible you can get child support, through the court? Don't keep asking him for the money, you won't get it. You will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why he is not sending it to you. Just forget it all together, easier said than done. I had to do it. He hated the fact that I never called him and stopped asking him for things. They can't stand that. Although I was struggling, I made it without him. After that, he realized he had better get his stuff together. I put him on child support without a warning. I know he didn't think I was just going to sit there and let him do my son like that. He knew I meant business after that and had no choice but to pay up.

Yes I have not been calling him since I left.  He calls all of the time and most of the time I don't even answer the phone because I am tired of his lies and his bs.  He can't stand it that I don't want anything to do with him.  I just think that he is not a good influence for my kids and they are young enough that if I drop contact with him now maybe it wont be so hard as say when they are 10 and they really understand everything for what it is.  I just see through the years that he isn't going to change and although he makes all of his promises, His promises got me alone with 3 going on 4 babies and although I thank God for them, I dont thank their dad for what he has done.  My son tells me all of the time I want my daddy to come home, where is my dad, why doesn't daddy come to our house.  It is just so hard to deal with.  I know you other single momas can understand that.  Thanks for all of your replies. 
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