OMG, I'm so stressed. Need advice. How would you deal?
My life is so hectic. I don't know how much more I can take!
Since Christmas: My ex's mom took my daughter to the ER, told them she'd been raped, and got my daughter accuse my boyfriend. CPS just closed the case - I found that out today! :-) Then, my grandmother died in early January & since then my father has almost constantly needed help with a variety of things. I'm already a single mother, full-time college student, and I have a job where I work 2 days/week. And he's telling me I need to learn to manage my time better so that I can help him more with those infomercial get rich quick scams he believes in! I told him I'd help him when I had time, but right now I'm taking 14 hours and one of my classes is an online miniterm, so it goes twice as fast as my other classes and will end sometime in March. I manage my time quite well, there's just not enough hours in a day to do what you want me to do! Plus, I got behind some idiot with gravel uncovered on a flat-bed trailer (couldn't see the little pile of gravel until I caught up with him and trying to pass) and the gravel was flying out and cracked my window in so many places that it would cost so much to try to "repair" my windshield taht I ended up just having to replace it for $250 that I couldn't afford!
I'm behind in school from having to spend my whole weekend working and helping him move his mothers stuff from 100 miles away in 2 pickup trucks...we had to go Saturday (went to dad's house at 10am and got home at 1 am), then I had to work Sunday 7am-2pm, pick up my daughter from my mom's, go to my dad's (20miles away), then take my daughter to my boyfriend's parents to spend the night, then go back to get more stuff 100 miles away and got home at 2am on Monday! And I hardly got to see my daughter for almost 5 days because I had so much going on and was so busy that she had to go stay with my mom! I had no choice but to help him because my 3 siblings are too selfish to help anyone if it doesn't benefit themselves, but I will not be taking on all this crap he wants me to right now.
My daughter is most important to me first and foremost, then my family (which includes my awesome boyfriend), then college, then work...He said, "well, wouldn't you rather make time to do this and make more than minimum wage?"...No, not really. As long as I'm getting by, I really don't care...I will be making a good living when I finish my education (next May!)
He doesn't accept that I don't have time...what should I do...it's starting to get on my nerves and he's making me even more stressed than I already am, which seems to be a never-ending state!
He's on the verge of a mental breakdown...he's so stressed, too, and suffering from serious insomnia...this a**hole started an argument with him last night and I honestly thought my dad was going to snap and kill the jerk with his bare hands...and trust me, he's extremely capable...
UPDATE IN BLUE:
I get to see my counselor today, thank God! It always helps me to talk to him and get things out. This helps too, but counseling has always been the most helpful thing for me when I'm super stressed out...I'm sick again *chronic sinus infections*, but I already had to miss class for my counseling appt. so I just hope I'm feeling better for class on Thursday...I have to go whether I'm sick or not (as long as it's NOT contagious) because I get behind every day that I miss and if I miss a week it's hard to catch up.
Talked to my dad and he said he'd 'had a good cry' and thinks it helped...I'm glad he did and it does usually help if you'll let go and have a good cry instead of keeping everything bottled up. I don't like to cry and tend to bottle my feelings up b/c I don't want to be weak, but I know I need to let myself cry sometimes. I feel like I always have to be strong for everyone else plus my daughter freaks out if she sees me crying...she's always been like that and is very sensitive and sweet.
Thanks for everyone's replies, I appreciate the support so much! Got lots to do so I better get to it!
Breathe.....just breathe......
You are taking on a lot right now. You need to get focused on what is going to better yourself, for you and your daughter. Im not saying dont worry about your dad....but try to worry a little less. There is not much more you can do than tell him you want to help him and you will when you have the time. Do not try to pick up the slack of your siblings.....that could just lead to resentment. Just stay focused on your top priorities! I hope it all works out for yo!
I kinda understand how you feel, I'm constantly having to help my father out all the time also..I really dont have much advice because im in the same situation (excpet i dont go to college) but i work full-time and dont have much help with my son..I also feel like my fathers "mother" some times, because he doesnt seem to know how to do anything for himself..Even though i try to show him and teach him.
I guess i would say i learned how to balance it all out, at first it was stressful but now im just used to it. Well ihope things get better for you, and im here if you ever need to talk!
Breathe girl!!! Wow that is a lot!
Sounds like you need to draw the line in the sand, so to speak. You figure out what the priorities are, and then say no to the rest. Sounds hard to do - but so worth the peace of mind it brings!
feel better? LOL sometimes just getting it out helps a lot. Hope things calm down for you
Glad things are looking up- I would also meet up with your teachers on the side and tell them what is going on for you so that if there is anything lacking in your work they may give you a break or let you know before the final grade- most teachers will appreciate someone who goes that extra mile to treat them like a person, even if they're insanely busy too.
Quoting calgalmeg:
Glad things are looking up- I would also meet up with your teachers on the side and tell them what is going on for you so that if there is anything lacking in your work they may give you a break or let you know before the final grade- most teachers will appreciate someone who goes that extra mile to treat them like a person, even if they're insanely busy too.
I'm planning on talking to my teachers on Thursday. I missed school today and then ended up missing my counseling appt., but I rescheduled for Friday:-) I've been getting sick and it really hit me today...I ended up sleeping most of the day and got absolutely nothing accomplished! I'll get it done tonight and tomorrow, though. I think I really just needed the rest!
All this Vegas talk....
- the_kimmers
on Feb. 9, 2010 at 1:23 AM