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did I do the right thing?

Posted by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 6:35 PM
  • 8 Replies



Question: did i do the right thing by getting a restraining order against my ex? (read post 1st please)




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Total Votes: 22

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my ex and i have been broken up for almost a year. we have a 14mon old daughter together. back in June, we started talking again and trying to be friends. then one day i had a date planned with a guy i knew. my ex said that he wanted to see our daughter on the same day that i had the date. i told my ex that i wasn't going to be able to take her to see him cuz i already had plans. i didn't tell him that it was a date. he automatically assumed that it was a date and he went totally crazy. he started to send me text messages telling me that i was a slut, that he was going to take me to court, and all this other crap. but what really pushed me to the edge was when he sent a text message saying that it would be easy for him to take me and my new boyfriend out to the desert and leave us there dead. i don't take death threats lightly. i called the police that night and filed a police report. the cop recommended that i get a restraining order against him. so the next day that i had off, i went to the local courthouse and started the paperwork. my ex and i were scheduled to go to a conciliation hearing to try to settle on visitation, but he never showed up. two weeks later, we had to go to court to settle the restraining order. to my surprise, he actually showed up. after about an hour of being in front of the judge discussing the general situation, the judge granted me a 3yr restraining order. she also ordered him to schedule supervised visits with our daughter twice a month. all these orders were made on August 1st. its now October 2, and i haven't heard anything about any kind of visitation which tells me that he hasn't bothered to schedule them. but lately i've been having 2nd thought about the restraining order. my head is telling me that i did the right thing, but my heart is flip flopping. i mean, the guy admitted to the judge that he was drunk the night before court and that he had smoked pot that morning. he doesn't make his child support payments on time or in full. he's just not a good person. i just need support from other moms in similar situations to help me keep my will power. can i get some words of encouragement?
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 6:35 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 6:37 PM
You did the right thing. Those threats are not to be taken lightly. It isn't easy to get a restraining order so if the judge agreed then I would say that Yes you did what you had to do inorder to protect your family.
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 6:51 PM
havent really been in this situation but I t hink you did the right t hing. because now days you never know these days with people. if he wanted to see his kids he would try to make a effort. but you did the right thing and another its none of his business what you do all his concern should be about with you is your kid and maybe thats not only what it is.
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 6:52 PM
Your doing the right thing hun! Stay strong!



by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 6:57 PM
girl you for sure did the right thing. that kind of guy i would not want around my baby, infact im glad to here there is light at the end of the tunnel! im going thought the same thing!

                                                             DONOVAN AiiDEN 
         Add Group Young Mommies Doing it Without The Father's Help

by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 7:43 PM

You did the right thing~ no death threat should be taken lightly.  Stay strong - it isn't easy to leave an abusive situation.  You deserve better and you need to take care of yourself and your kids!!  I am speaking from experience, so I know exactly how you feel!  Better things will come your way - stay true to yourself and be strong!

by Ruby Member on Oct. 2, 2007 at 7:47 PM
sweets, the fact that you are even questioning yourself is proof you need therapy. i was in a dv relationship, the man hit me, and i still second guessed myself when i got my ro.

dont worry about it if he hasnt scheduled visitation. that is not your problem. live life and keep him out of it!! and its not any of his (excuse my french) mafakin business whether or not you have a date!!!

by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 9:29 PM
You definately did the right thing.  Threats should never be taken lightly.  Just because he was drunk/high that time doesn't mean he won't get drunk/high another time and follow through on his threats.  And it is definately in your childs best interest.  Do you really want her around someone who uses drugs?  What could happen to her if he is intoxicated during an unsupervised visit?

Don't second guess yourself.  You did good.
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 10:45 PM

You absolutely did the right thing!! I started a group for women with restraining orders feel free to check it out. It has my story as well as some others. Im hoping it will be a place where we can gain and give support to eachother as well as learn ways to make the orders as effective as possible and protect ourselves and our loved ones.

 Melissa amy the moon and back



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