My husband walked out on me about a month and a half ago, and says he wants to come back in August. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I think my little boy Damian who is 7 months old would be better without him.
The laws over here give him control over where we live, but I am trying to give Damian a better life.
How do I tell him that he is not welcome back without saying something that could be turned around to say I am not letting my husband have anything to do with our son, as they would probably take Damian away from me?
Where is that you live where he has control? If you do not want to take him back, then don't. No one is going to take your son away because you do not want to be with his father.
I am curious as to where you live that he can control where you live?
If you are still married though I am not sure what your rights are as far as telling him he can't come back. Are you renting or own your home? Is his name on any of the paperwork. As far as I know you can't legally make him stay out unless your home is in YOUR name and even then if you are married its a sticky situation. But that kinda stuff depends on where you live I think.
He wants to come back in August? Thats 5 months from now, hopefully he will change his mind by then.
whether your ex lives with or without you guys dosnt effect him having a relationship with his son , he can still have visitations. Your husband walked out on you and your son you didnt walk out so dont act like you've done something wrong or have anything to worry about . Theres noway a court is going to take a baby from its mother unless if is proven you are an unfit mom and a danger to your child. But I think you need to put your foot down with your husband its not fair on you or your son for him to just come and go as he pleases thats not setting a good message for your son. I know how scarey it can be when you first split your a hubby and all the fears.
Have you talked to a lawyer yet??? If you dont have money for a lawyer you can always go to a local womans shelter to get some advice they are a wealth of knowledge. Stay strong mama ! :)
you should probably find a lawyer who will give you sound advice for your area....but in general I'd say you don't have to live with anyone you don't want to including a soon to be ex-husband. Also if the house is in both names and you don't let him back in, then he may fight for it, but it will take some time to get legally sorted out - change the locks till it's sorted out!
I wouldn't advise keeping him away from his son if he has an interest in seeing him, but unless you are VERY sure he will return him to you, make his visits supervised. (for example, I used to meet my son's dad at the mall and walk around with them, cause at the time I was still nursing and couldn't be too far away for mealtimes)
Good Luck thru this tough time, follow your heart and do what's best for you and your son.
Thanks girls for the advice. I make sure all his visits are supervised, In australia (I have checked) the parent who doesn't live with the child gets to say where the primary career of the child can move as the law says that both parents have the right to a relationship with the child, even if the don't see the child often.
Quoting Dawnie-marie:
Thanks girls for the advice. I make sure all his visits are supervised, In australia (I have checked) the parent who doesn't live with the child gets to say where the primary career of the child can move as the law says that both parents have the right to a relationship with the child, even if the don't see the child often.
Some places have a 50 mile rule. I remember my parents had to follow it and it irritated my mom. My friend's baby momma moved out of state but it was still within the 50 miles and he still gets his DD every weekend. So I guess the 50 miles is still pretty standard in Michigan anyhow.
Ladies. she lives in a different COUNTRY. I am sure their laws are different than in the US. What our laws are or what is common in the US, can be really different in another country.
OP: I would talk to an attorney in your country, because we don't know your laws so we really can't help much except to offer you somewhere to vent.
I hope everything works out for you and your son.
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- Dawnie-marie
on Mar. 16, 2010 at 8:38 AM