I'm newly single, but I've been a mom for over 4 years now. I left my loser ex 2 months ago. He's a horrible person, & he was CONSTANTLY negative about everything. So after I escaped, I realised that he wasn't the only negative person in my life. I had surrounded myself with a lot of bad people & bad energy.
There was a time when I was miserable, and misery loves company! I attracted a LOT of people ....& then kept them in my life because we had been through a lot? or because we had already been friends for so long? idk, lame excuses. I was strong enough to get out of a relationship with a monster so I needed to get away from these miserable people I called my "friends". A lot of drama & problems I want to do without. There are a couple of people in my life who i can actually call "friend" but they aren't parents or single, so sometimes its hard to connect.
So here I am! almost 25 years old and starting from scratch. I feel like going back to those people who have hurt & betrayed me would be worse than going back to my ex. I need a new man, i need new friends!
Can anyone relate??
Yes, I can relate. This has been a life death life cycle for me all my life. I'm presently starting over from scratch, at age 47. I'm a survivor of rape/incest and domestic violence. I stepped out on faith and left all the negative people and home state behind. Like, how much are you willing to pay for peace of mind and sanity? I now sometimes feel like a stranger in a strange land but the beauty is I've learned to let my little light shine, wherever I am. I no longer say "what I need " but "what I'd like have if and when God decides I'm ready." I've learned beauty is an inside out job and the healthier I become, so do my choices. When I closed my legs, I opened my mind.
I encourage you to take a break and breathe. Love and respect yourself for awhile, by yourself. It is usually only by touching the brimstone of pain, that we change for good.
I can relate. I am 38. The people that I socialized with were friends of my ex. That was shown when it ended. I have been this introvert who socialize very well due to some personal stuff that occured in my life. I just don't trust people anymore. I am only trying to socialize with positive people anyway, so until I find that, I am ok with being alone and having friends this way.
i can relate. i am almost 25 and i dont have any true friends. for the pst 2 yrs i thought this one lady was my friend i was a single mom and so was she. than she got a boyfriend and that all changed now she dont even speak to me i heard the other day she married him i am happy for her cuz he is really good for her daughter. and he has made her a better mother but she didn't need to do me like she did.
Hello!
Welcome to the group!
Yes i can relate, I have very few friends and some of them are negative people, but its hard to cut them out of my life, because i've been friends with them for over 10years. However just the last few months, i have been staying away from them alot more then I ever have.
I'm actually lucky enough to have a few good friends that are single moms as well. It hasn't always been that way though, and it's rough. At least you have realized the situation and you can make more friends on a positive note, instead of a negative.
I feel ya, babe. I have very few friends in real life. Most of my friends have drifted away, we go out to lunch maybe twice a year or talk on the phone a few times a year, but that's basically it.
My best friend is a newly wed....no kids. She compares her dog to my kids. Nuff said.
My other best friend lives eight states away from me and she's going through a lot right now. She was a single mom for a while but like I said, she's going through a lot and it's hard for us to connect.
I made a friend on CM years ago and we've met in person. She lives two hours away so we don't get to spend a ton of time together, but she was a single mom so I can talk to her and she understands.
And that's it. I would really like a single mom friend, especially someone who has been through a divorce or a nasty split, has custody issues, etc....someone that can relate to what I'm going through.
I think the benefit of starting over with positive people really does outweigh the cost of not having friends. I have a zillion aquaintances, but my best friends are in other states. We talk on the phone and the computer.
This network is a great place for positive reinforcement
yes i can totally relate. right down to being almost 25! anyways, i have a very few friends. id rather have only a couple of real, true, awesome friends, then a bunch of aquaintances that i dont have a great connection with. luckily, one of my only friends (best friend) has 3 kids and we both love the same things (cooking, dancing, ....drinking beer....;)...outdoors activities).
the great thing is YOU have the power now, especially that your away from your ex, to CHOOSE who you let in your life. you can find great friends anywhere- even in the grocery store, or at the park. you just have to 1) be outgoing 2) use your best judgement 3)take things slow. strike up a convo at the park with another mom, ask her if she goes there often, and let her know "well i hope to see you again! we will be here next saturday!" etc. i have no man advice though! i havent been actively looking, i'd like to have a job and my own place before that happens! i guess if i could say something about finding a man, is just dont settle. i beleive it is possible to find happiness with a man who accepts your single mom status- you just have to be patient and find happiness in yourself and your life first.
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on Mar. 21, 2010 at 3:04 AM