OKay so once I file the divorce will be final in or about june/july. I already told my stbx that he can have the kids for the summer since he will also has his other daughter out there. My mom thinks its a bad idea to let him have them for a long period of time (june 5-aug 5). One because she is scared he wont give them back. which i highly doubt it. Two, because my daughter is so attached to him that she wouldnt want to come back. Three, she is just worried that this will confuse them right now.
As for me I dont think he will try and get them, because since the divorce will be final in the middle of their trip he will not have a choice but to return them.
2. my daughter does love her dad but she is more so attached to me, my mom and my dad.
3. I think if me and him both get on the same page that of course will be sorta hard but not as much as it is for his daughter now.
I believe if he wants to have them for the summer and we have put the past behind us that I shouldnt have a reason not to let him spend time with them. they didnt do anything wrong so why cant they enjoy seeing him
I personally wouldnt do that, I dont even like my son going away for 1 week at a time lol.
thats kind of a long time for your kids to be gone honestly, how old are they. if they are 3 or around that age, thats a bad idea, how about just a week or two? are you trying to get time to yourself or you just think its a good idea? i think its not. when they get older like junior high then maybe a summer is okay, but i wouldnt want my son gone that long, EVER until he is off to college or moves out . i say two weeks max
i would do two weeks, but the thing is he doesnt live in the same state as me. And I will be going to school in July for the program I am signed up for. So that would help a little. I have been thinking maybe the 1st of july to august 5. Its still more then a couple weeks. I am not trying to get time to myself, because since I live with my parents if i need a break I can get one right now.
In most out of state custody orders summer visit is 6 weeks, so.. I don't think it's that big of a deal. I'm sure you will all be ok.. How old are your kids?
IF you do this....you need to go about it legally. Because as their biological parent...he does NOT have to give them back to you if there is no custody agreement in place. AND if you then filed for custody, or he did, he would most likely get majority custody because they 'currently reside with him' and the courts won't want to rock that boat. He would then be getting child support from you...most likely.
On top of that...I wouldn't want my kid to be gone for MONTHS....WTH does that accomplish???
To me that seems like a very long time. My kids are young though (2 and 4). How old are your kids?
I am the one filing for everything, actually on April 1st everything should be done. I have the kids full time and he only wants visitation during the summer and some holidays. My kids are 3 and 2.
for the whole what does that accomplish. they get to spend time with their dad and sister. A sister they never see because of her mom not wanting to get them together. Some wouldnt give their kids for a month or so. but when u live states away. I am in OK and he is in CA its easier doing a month or so at a time compared to two weeks or whatever it is that others do when they live in the same state. even if he lived in COlorado then yeah it would be easier to say 2 weeks tops. but thats not the case in my situation
If it were me, I would not do it. They are very young to be gone for extended periods of time. Sure they want to spend time with their dad.....but do you know how long a couple of months is to a 3 and 2 year old? It might as well be a couple of years. I would cut it back if it were me.
Quoting BellaBear:
I am the one filing for everything, actually on April 1st everything should be done. I have the kids full time and he only wants visitation during the summer and some holidays. My kids are 3 and 2.
for the whole what does that accomplish. they get to spend time with their dad and sister. A sister they never see because of her mom not wanting to get them together. Some wouldnt give their kids for a month or so. but when u live states away. I am in OK and he is in CA its easier doing a month or so at a time compared to two weeks or whatever it is that others do when they live in the same state. even if he lived in COlorado then yeah it would be easier to say 2 weeks tops. but thats not the case in my situation
okay, so I am wondering would the july 1st to august 1st be better. I never had to deal with this. and he has major plans for all three and I dont want my kids to get the short end of the stick because they arent out there longer. I will see if he will agree with this
yeah 3 and 2 is a liiittle young to be doing that. I have a friend that lived out of state and until his son was 5 he had him for 1 week each month, then when he started school, he started getting him for Christmas break, and 6 weeks in the summer. IF you do decide to go ahead with it I would first consult your lawyer to make sure it wont have an impact on the custody agreement. He says he is agreeing now, but that could change, and with custody, possession hold a LOT of ground.
survival tips for a new mom to be on her frist day as a single mom.
- BellaBear
on Mar. 22, 2010 at 3:21 PM