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Omg.. I dont know what to say or how to help her :-(

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:03 PM
  • 10 Replies

 My best friend of 15 years is going through some really rough stuff right now. She has a teenage brother, he's always been a little 'strange'. Well it came out about 9 years ago that her step-dad (her brother's dad) had been molesting her for the better part of 6 years (the whole time I'd known her and I had no clue). We don't know if he was molested he won't talk about it. He is a fire bug, Bipolar, has tried to kill himself, acts out in anger a lot. It's not typical teenage stuff either.. I literally won't stay at her mom's because Im scared of what he might do to me or my child.

It's at the point now that he cannot be left alone ever, and my friend (who is unemployed right now, was laid off from her job in Jan) has been given full responsibilty of him. Her mom is a work-a-holic and refuses to get him proper treatment because she is too busy-- yet she sleeps with a bat and the panic button for her alarm system because she doesn know what he might do!

He attacked my friend earlier this week, punched her in the face twice and strangled her-- and her mom blamed her!!

I just don;t know what to do or what to say or how to help. I love her and her mom has always been great. I think she is living in denial and I don't know how to snap her out of it. This kid is going to end up on the 6 o'clock news sooner or later if something isnt done!! Im scared for my friend and her family :-(

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kissybratzmom
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:26 PM

Wow! That mom needs a reality check, or your friend needs to stand up to her and say something. Workaholic or not, getting her son help should be a priority! I feel so bad for your friend, and would be worried as well!

kirstn007
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:28 PM

call child protective services. I am not saying the mom is a bad person but CPS could be a good wake up call for her. And the call is always annonymous so no one will know it was you. Honestly this could be the best thing for this kids treatment and probably needs a treatment center to be at. Because he will probably snap some day and seriously hurt someone and i wouldnt be suprised if he killed someone.

coffee.crisp
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:31 PM

I agree with kirstn007.  Social services or someone needs to step in ASAP, for the good of everyone involved.

Good luck!

sandie66
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:34 PM

 Why weren't the police called when he attacked her? Why is he not sitting in jail right now?? This is exactly what she should have done. She should have called the police and pressed charges. Period. And if she doesn't want to do that, then she and her mother need to have him Baker acted before he does anymore harm to her, his mom, her child, or himself.

AMsMommy212
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:11 PM

 Earlier that day he ran away, he texted her and said that they would never find him. SO she called the cops, said she had 4 policemen searching for him for over an hour, they took him in and requested that he be kept for observation but a doctor there told my friend he should just go home with her.. then about 30 min after they got home is when he attacked her. Her mom had just gone off on her about calling the cops in the first place and completely blamed her for everything.

She relys on her mom a lot right now because her unemployment is about 60% of what she was making, so she's really stuck in hard place. She is a single mom, and she has a younger brother there at her mom's home too.

I agree with you, though-- I think the kid needs to be committed until therapy and meds finally break through and start helping him.

He was in a hospital for about a week and half the last time he got caught cutting himself, but his mom just doesn't follow through with treatments, and psychiatric apointments

Quoting sandie66:

 Why weren't the police called when he attacked her? Why is he not sitting in jail right now?? This is exactly what she should have done. She should have called the police and pressed charges. Period. And if she doesn't want to do that, then she and her mother need to have him Baker acted before he does anymore harm to her, his mom, her child, or himself.

 

single_and_preg
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:46 PM

Oh man thats sad!

I think she needs to call CPS or some authority, to get him the help he needs and removed from the house temporarily, she shouldnt have to live in fear.

AMsMommy212
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:58 PM

 

Quoting kirstn007:

call child protective services. I am not saying the mom is a bad person but CPS could be a good wake up call for her. And the call is always annonymous so no one will know it was you. Honestly this could be the best thing for this kids treatment and probably needs a treatment center to be at. Because he will probably snap some day and seriously hurt someone and i wouldnt be suprised if he killed someone.

 It's just hard.. Im the only one she confides in with all these details.. it would be quite obvious.. but I do want her brother to get help, and noone else to get hurt. Her mom is having some people move in to help with him full-time, and do homeschooling; I'm hoping that they will be able to get him to the therapies and stuff.

jennn217
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 6:04 PM

can she go to a shelter?

AMsMommy212
by on Apr. 2, 2010 at 9:21 AM

 

Quoting jennn217:

can she go to a shelter?

 She can go home, lol.. she doesnt live there she just wants to help but feels like her Mom is trying to brush the issue under the rug, and place blame-- when all that really needs to happen, is getting this kid more help.

JessO919
by on Apr. 2, 2010 at 9:59 AM

Since you say it would be really obvious if YOU called cps, maybe try to convince her to do it.  If this boy's mom is not doing anything to help him and he is just getting worse, it is necessary to get him help before he does end up on the 6 o'clock news and ends up ruining his life completely.  I realize that convincing her may be next to impossible, but something has to be at least tried. 

 

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