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need some advice

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 8:09 PM
  • 3 Replies

so my sons sperm donnor left me when i was a couple months pregant and moved to new york and i live in NC, which he was there for about a month before he moved in with this girl who has one child and was pregant with another and tells me that he wants nothing to do with his son. well then when i was 37 weeks he contacts me and decides that he has changed his mind and moved himself back to NC even after everything i did let him come to the hospital to see his son be born, but he expects that i should all of a sudden keep taking my son to see him whenever he wants, he exspected me to just get back together with him because he came back and gets really mad when i say that i cant do that i had to move on when he left and im not ready to go through more heartache. everyday i have been back and forth with him never quite sure what mood i am going to get. i dont really trust him, i feel as if he should really earn his way back into our lives, do you guys think that im wrong for feeling this way? he believes that just bc he came back that i should just let him have all sorts of rights without any sort of consquences.

by on May. 2, 2010 at 8:09 PM
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Replies (1-3):
charmgirl
by on May. 2, 2010 at 8:28 PM

 i think you have every right to feel the way you do. if he's serious and devoted to doing the right thing, then he'll do it, and he'll do it without attitude. sounds like he has some growing up to do still. he seriously cant expect you to just be at his service whenever he says so. he cant just come and go. if he goes, he should stay gone in my opinion, none of the back and forth bullshit,

Kissybratzmom
by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:04 PM

I agree, but why are you taking your son to see him? If he wants to come see him, make him come to you. You just had a baby! Don't bend over backwards for him. If he really want to be part of his life (and yours) he will find a way.

Quoting charmgirl:

 i think you have every right to feel the way you do. if he's serious and devoted to doing the right thing, then he'll do it, and he'll do it without attitude. sounds like he has some growing up to do still. he seriously cant expect you to just be at his service whenever he says so. he cant just come and go. if he goes, he should stay gone in my opinion, none of the back and forth bullshit,


ame4c
by Group Admin on May. 2, 2010 at 9:29 PM

 1 you need to file for child support and custody.  2 since you are not married, you have FULL custody of your child, until the courts say otherwise.  If you are truly ready to move on (which it sounds like) I would get custody established and make sure it states he can not take the child out of the state with out your permission.  Plus, he needs to be paying child support and half of your medical bills (what the insurance didn't cover).  If he wants to be a father, then he needs to come up with the $$ as well.

As far as a relationship, If it was me, he would have to have roses growing outta his ass and a certificate from a shrink saying he had changed before I would let him back in my life as a lover.  IDK, but if he walked out once, he will do it again.  But really, that is up to you and only you can make that choice.

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