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Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:05 PM
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I just left my husband a week and a half ago now. Our marriage(if you can call it that) had been falling apart less than a year after it started. He's been seeing someone since about 6 months after we got married. I knew, and yet was stupid and hoped I could get him to come back and be with our family. When he first started seeing her we'd just had our first daughter(9 days before we got married actually) and I was already pregnant with our second daughter. But he continued and the December after we got married(April of 06), he disappeared for about 3 days with no word at all. With how things had been going I was certain he wouldn't be coming back. After 3 days of waiting I was so upset I called the only friend I still had in town(my only best friend had moved to Tampa years before this). Unfortunatly, the friend I called was also my ex that I was with right before I met my husband. He came over and I swear all we did was talk and then he left. Ironically, right as he was leaving, my husband came back. The two never actually saw each other though. He was trying to tell me he would never see this other girl again and was so sorry for what he'd done and would never leave again. I wouldn't let him come near me. Every painful thought I'd had came flooding back and all I could think was "I have to hurt him as badly as he hurt me." So, I lied. I told him who was just there and that he kissed me. My husband turned and ran out the door, down the street, and guess who was still waiting for him at the end of the road. He says that's the night our marriage/relationship ended. He'd hurt me MANY times while we were dating and then after we were married, and the one time I LIE about something, it's all my fault and everything's "over". So, without making this incredibly long with everything else that's happened, we're getting divorced soon. The kids live with me and although I will never keep him from seeing them, they will NOT go back to our old house alone to see him because now his girlfriend is living there. She moved in the same day we moved out. I'm hurt and lost and very confused. But one thing I do know is that I am truly blessed to have my kids here with me and I'd be lost without them.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this.

toddler girltoddler girltoddler boyI love Jessica(4), Jaclyn(3) and Joshua(1 1/2)

by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:05 PM
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Replies (1-8):
tyfry7496
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:09 PM

 Sorry for your issues. You are just going to have to do what is best for your kids and you. Your "husband" sounds like an immature little boy. HE cheated, yet it's your fault? I don't think so. Be grateful he is gone and let the "girlfriend" deal with his behavior. He will cheat on her too. Hang in there.

And welcome to Cafe Mom and SIngle Moms group. If you need anything, just ask.

AMsMommy212
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:16 PM

 Welcome to the group, sounds like a lot to go through in a relatively short period of time!!

I hope for the best for you and your kids.

aciredyolf
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:17 PM


Quoting tyfry7496:

 Sorry for your issues. You are just going to have to do what is best for your kids and you. Your "husband" sounds like an immature little boy. HE cheated, yet it's your fault? I don't think so. Be grateful he is gone and let the "girlfriend" deal with his behavior. He will cheat on her too. Hang in there.

And welcome to Cafe Mom and SIngle Moms group. If you need anything, just ask.

Thanks. He already has "cheated" on her, obviously, cause we have a son too, who will be two tomorrow. But I was told, by her, that it was a "drunken mistake" on his part that he even slept with me. He says I'm keeping the kids from him by not letting them go over there but he never shows up here when he says he will. Not that I expected any more from him.

kevinfsmom
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:57 PM

welcome to cafemom Hope things get better!

ambie1983
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:13 PM

Your better off without him and you deserve WAY better! But welcome to the group!

aciredyolf
by on May. 27, 2010 at 9:06 AM

Thanks for all the support! I love this site =)

jeepingirrl
by on May. 27, 2010 at 9:17 AM

Welcome to the group and to cafemom! Sorry you are going through alll this.....and it seems like your marriage was over before it even started....not because of your little lie. Sounds like you are much better offf without him anyways!

calgalmeg
by on May. 27, 2010 at 11:45 AM

Sorry you are having such a hard time.  Be aware that it can be very stressful to go through the courts and your ex may try for custody to save himself on child support but know we are here for you through it all and you can always talk with us.  

I would say do not talk to the new girlfriend, you were his WIFE, obviously not a drunken mistake but she will say and do hurtful things because she's envious of you.  Don't give her that satisfaction- cut her off because you deserve to be treated better.

Now is the time to make some new friends- create a new life for you and the kids.  It can be a wonderful and beautiful time for you so let it be.  Give yourself the life you deserve.


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