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not feeling as connected to my daughter as i want too..

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:34 PM
  • 6 Replies

i dunno where to start off really i have a 3 yr old daughter and i have a 6 month old daughter the problem and the guilt im feeling is that i dont feel as connected with my 6 month old as i thought i would or that i should be right now i mean its gettin better but its still not like it was when i had my first one either im not sure what to do i was thinking bout goin to a dr cuz i know that i have some sort of depression too and its not really bout my baby its more bout other stuff like not drivin,not havin enough money for the bills and everything,me and bf arguing bout stupid stuff alot i mean it has gotten better but i dunno it just feels kinda like tense sometimes between me and him it just feels like i should have alot more done in my life and i want to do these things soo bad but its hard cuz im not drivin right now and cuz i have the two kids plus i work full time im not sure what to do if anyone is in the similar situation or has been there before any kind of advice would be great thanks!!

by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:34 PM
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Replies (1-6):
ambie1983
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:38 PM

In my opinion, I'd go see a doctor. You might have postpartum. Or just talking to someone helps a lot too! Arguing with bf doesn't help either...you might want to talk to him about how you are feeling.

Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2010 at 4:46 PM

sounds like PPD.... also, know that just cuz you have a baby/babies, doesnt mean that your life is fully put on hold. my friend has 3 babies (the oldest will be 3 in July!- no twins) and she works fulltime, plus is in school fulltime. write a list of the things you want to accomplish in life adn every day, take small steps to do so... example: save 10% from every paycheck towards a car/DL, etc. 

as for the little baby... honestly, i didnt feel that close to my son til he turned about a year old. just didnt really hit that he was my child, kwim? i'm sure that as she gets older- and more mobile- and her personality shines out more, you'll find yourself getting connected to her on a deeper level. there are times wehn i dont feel connected with my son, who's 4, but then i just grab a controller and we play the game together. actually doing stuff with my child, makes me feel connected.

kandi2100
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:39 PM

yeah i have tried to write things down that i want to accomplish by the new yr or whatever and it just seems like it never happens like i wanna finish gettin my ged and that didnt happen i need glasses so that i can start practice driving that never happend i wanted to get kaylee into the 3 yr program and the baby in daycare and that didnt happen. i write it down feeling better and like ok this is it im gonna do it and it just never happens its sooo much harder when i have no car to drive thats one of my main things seems like its holdin me back alot and i try to save money but its so tight with the money issues cuz right now im payin like double rent cuz i just bought a place and still payin off what i owe plus rent and utilites and all that i dunno when i think bout all the stuff i just get down and depressed and stressed out even more. i know that my life aint put on hold when i have kids but it just is alot harder to do stuff i mean like right now im online for maybe 5 mins cuz thats bout it sometimes i just want to get away for a while go to a spa or something but i dont even have the money for that ugh! and i try to connect with my youngest but shes only 6 months old so u can only play so many games haha.. and i feel bad cuz when kaylee was born i was really happy and felt instant connection to her i dunno if thats cuz she was my first or what but im not even sure what kind of dr to go to or what to say i never been to one before ever so im kinda nervous. thanks soo much for the replys

Anthonys_mommy1
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:03 PM

I know how you feel. Even during my pregnancy i didn't feel a connection with my lil one. He's 9 months now and every now and again I look at him like "who are you". It has always been me and my oldest and I didn't think I could love another child like I love my oldest. I haven't seen a doc because it only happens every once and a while but I do love him and would never let anything happen to him.

ambie1983
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:11 PM

Just go to your regular doctor, you can talk to her about this. You don't even have to get meds if you don't want to take them, but she suggest some things you can do.

Quoting kandi2100:

but im not even sure what kind of dr to go to or what to say i never been to one before ever so im kinda nervous. thanks soo much for the replys


kandi2100
by on May. 26, 2010 at 6:56 PM

i dont have a actual dr that i go see the last dr i had was my obgyn lol but i really dont want to talk to him about that i dunno if i would feel comftable enough around him bout all of this. it just seems like i never have time for nothing cuz now that she wants to move everywhere and all that she dont wanna sit in her swing much and she dont wanna sit in her bouncer or jumper im like omg i just need 5 mins lol the house needs straighten up and i never get to finish it all like i want too and by the time i get home im soooo tired i just wanna lay down and relax but i know i cant lol. i dunno i was thinking maybe lookin thru the phone book or something for one but im not even sure what to look under counseling or something like that. how did u girls cope with the same things? what made it better or made u feel better?

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