Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Did you get sole custody? How?

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:37 PM
  • 7 Replies

I just filed for divorce last week and I'm going for sole custody and supervised visitation (which I know my ex will be fighting me on with a lawyer paid for by his parents). Now I think I have good grounds for getting this in court but I was just curious what others had been through and why courts agreed to give them sole custody of their kids (testing the legal water, so to speak, lol).

Here's my grounds for sole custody and supervised visitation:

In March of 2009 he was arrested for domestic violence assault against me (while I was pregnant with the baby were fighting over), contributing to the delinquency of a minor (for my older son seeing it), and possession of marijuana. He plead "no contest" and was given diversion which he has completed.

CPS is currently investigating him for that incident but he has refused to meet with them so it's still an open case.

In July of 2009 I received an Order of Protection against him for both me and my older son (not his child) which remains in effect till this July.

He receives social security for Bipolar Disorder... because he's supposedly is too mentally ill to work (though he's faking it for the money).

He went into detox at a government funded facility in March of 2010 for abuse of morphine (might be able to get papers on this but not sure yet).

In general he hasn't worked (except under the table) in 3 years, is extremely violent and likely still using drugs, has an absolutely disgusting and unsafe house, has not provided any support for his baby, and won't set up any sort of regular visitation with me. Of course this is all considered hearsay by the courts.

I'm not worried about the judge seeing me as a fit parent since I work two jobs, attend college, and maintain a great home environment for my children (which even CPS was impressed with while visiting me to investigate my ex)... and I've done this all by myself for over a year now (since I left him in March of 2009 after I had him arrested). But I'm worried if I have enough physical evidence to prove that my ex is not safe and fit to be given his daughter unsupervised at this point. I have no problem with him visiting the baby while she's at my in-laws house every Saturday (which is how I would like the supervised visitation to work)..

Do you think this is enough? What did it take for you? Any suggestions on how to get the courts in my favor?

Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:37 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
angie729
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:41 PM

I have sole custody of my boys. My ex has visitation..I wanted supervised but my atty wouldnt fight for it. My ex just agreed to it. Good Luck

Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2010 at 4:42 PM

i was automatically given it when i had him. state of ohio rules, plus i wasnt married. here's a bump, but it looks pretty much in your favor. gl.

haydall
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:44 PM

Won't help you, but I got sole custody as there is only one parent on the birth certificate.

KLBrown
by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:47 PM

my xh never fought me on it

calgalmeg
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:27 PM

Just lost it- my ex fought over our restraining order and the judge threw it out because I didn't have a good enough witness and it wasn't violent enough.  We are now battling out over custody.  Just be aware that in some states you can have full legal and physical custody (my ex gave me those 3 times but now is trying to get it back and lower his child support at the same time- surprise surprise) and all he has to do is ask for it back later on and some places will give it.

snjbjac
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:34 PM

I got sole custody because I'm the only one on my son's birth certificate.

Shanin22
by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:40 PM

Well I live in AZ... but I don't know exactly what the custody laws are here... guess I have some research to do.

And I'm sorry to hear you're having to go through that all again. Domestic violence makes everything so hard and complicated. If the man is very violent, the women gets blamed for not leaving sooner. But if they leave before it gets "too violent" then they aren't taken seriously. And most domestic violence (not to mention, the most damaging) is verbal and mental anyway, which can't easily be proven in court. I hope you're able to get back your sole custody.

Quoting calgalmeg:

Just lost it- my ex fought over our restraining order and the judge threw it out because I didn't have a good enough witness and it wasn't violent enough.  We are now battling out over custody.  Just be aware that in some states you can have full legal and physical custody (my ex gave me those 3 times but now is trying to get it back and lower his child support at the same time- surprise surprise) and all he has to do is ask for it back later on and some places will give it.


Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)