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attitudes

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 11:49 PM
  • 8 Replies

 My son came home Sunday from visiting his dad for the weekend and has had the worst attitude ever. He doesn't listen, pees his pants even more than before, talks back, throws things, hits people. I'm losing my cool basically and I just don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?

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by on May. 26, 2010 at 11:49 PM
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Bashful984
by on May. 26, 2010 at 11:53 PM

I have the same problem with my daughter. They know what they can get away with with 1 parent and what works with the other. You just have to put your foot down and be the "bad parent". I accepted the fact that I am because my daughter is a total brat when she is with her dad. I just had to teach her that what is ok at dad's isn't ok at moms. My parents had that rule when I was little too. Mom has rules and dads might be different. Even if your son is small he will catch on quick.

danadanielle
by on May. 27, 2010 at 7:35 PM

My daughter has a bit of a "transition" period in each home when going back in forth. I told her we both loved her so she needed to listen to each of us. It helped her understand why she was leaving and actually she got better. She has adjustment periods but not as much.

jrsmommie
by on May. 27, 2010 at 8:35 PM

 Does it eventually get easier for them? I hate seeing him go through all this.

Ms.Upinyourface
by on May. 27, 2010 at 10:03 PM

This is a lot of stress for a child. I would recommend having a plan about how to go through the trassition with him returning and make those predictables that help him to feel relaxed.

Befor I had my child I heard a quote from a child where the child asked" why do I have to change houses because my parents do not live together? Why cann't I stay home and they change." So I took that to heart.

My kid stayed in one house and we changed places. Or we met at a neutral location where the two of them could be together and then we would met at meals and spend time together and then they would spend the day together and we would go home.

When overnights were what my child wanted. And he only had bed wet issues then. Never any other time or place.

It is a lot of pressure on a child and as the parents what you can do and how you do that is the best for your child to reduce the stress. The child does not deserve to suffer this way.

How about making the transsition at a swimming pool or a place where your child can play hard and really be ready for a meal, a bath a read and bed ? Structure helps when a child is feeling that there are not enough boundaries or that the boundaries are fuzzy.

vlester
by on May. 27, 2010 at 10:27 PM

if he can't control his attitude he will not be allowed to go over his dad's house. Talk with his dad and yall go over what is and is not acceptable behavior. I understand its his house but there needs to be some type o discipline because your child can not and should not come home acting that way. That helped me

Bashful984
by on May. 28, 2010 at 2:22 AM


Quoting jrsmommie:

 Does it eventually get easier for them? I hate seeing him go through all this.

Very much so! It was IMPOSSIBLE at first with my daughter. I would get so mad because of the back talk and tantrums. Now she has her moments but she pretty much knows that when I say something I mean business. Honestly thinking back on it once I put my foot down it didn't take long at all.

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the
brave.

Jenn8604
by on May. 28, 2010 at 2:30 AM

 Find out first by talking to ur ex and see if he actually disciplines like you do. He may. The kids (4 & 2)I used to baby sit for when I was 16 had the same rules at moms and dads but they acted up when they first got to the other parents because than mom and dad had to talk more over discipline and behavioral issues. They wanted their parents back together and acted up hoping that because they talked theyd get back together.

AMsMommy212
by on May. 28, 2010 at 10:47 AM

 Aiden is the same way. I don't think it has much to do with either parent  but more to do with dealing with the change of one household to the other. The best advice I can give is be prepared for it, but don't give in to it.. don't brush it off-- implement the same discipline you would if he were acting like that at any other time-- eventually it'll get easier (I hope!!)

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