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Getting along with your child's father

Posted by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 9:53 AM
  • 26 Replies

I hear a lot about how horrible some fathers are in this group and I'm wondering how many of you out there get along with your child's father?  At least for the sake of the kid(s).  I get along okay with my son's father.  True, I have my issues with him, but he and I don't argue about things and we get along just fine for my son's sake.

by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 9:53 AM
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by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 9:57 AM

We get along good pretty good. If we ever disagree we don't do it around my son.

by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 9:58 AM

 Sure, I get along with him and it's only because he has stayed away for 13 years.  When he was around I did get along with him around my son, because that was what was best for my son. Now that my son is 13 and has had a chance to meet and know his father, my son wants nothing to do with him, so I don't have to deal with him.

by Member on Jun. 5, 2010 at 10:03 AM

I get along OK with DS's dad. It was a long, long time coming. It took us two years to divorce because of all the fighting. The guy is just plain evil, when it comes to me. WIth DS, however, he has some good Dad moments. He makes a lot of mistakes, and he does a LOT of things that I don't agree with, but I keep my mouth shut as long as DS is safe. DS's SM doesn't really like my DS, so there have been a lot of issues with this (her spanking him, her telling him he couldn't visit anymore), and that's been a lot to overcome, but he does really, really love his son. For that, I'm grateful. I see a ton of Moms on here who's EXs won't even see their children.

My XH never ever misses a visit without letting me know ahead of time. IF he does miss a visit, he always asks to make up the time with extra time. He calls every single night to say good night to DS (DS is 4). He tries to make it to Dr appointments and things (He came to DS's eye Dr appointment last week, and then paid for half the glasses RX). He is super concerned about all of DS's school reports and makes it to night school functions. So, all in all, he's not a bad Dad. We have our dissagreements, but he could be a lot worse. He loves his son, and that's pretty much the most I can ask for. For those reasons, I let a LOT of things go. It is really important to me that they have a good relationship...important enough that I will sit with XH in an eye Dr. appointment for three straight hours!!! lol

by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 10:08 AM

We get along pretty good.  The first year after our divorce was extremely rough.  But, it has gotten a lot better.  He recently moved his GF (they have been together since January of this year) in with him, and she and I had it out at first.  But, we talked and get along o.k. now.  I will admit, a lot of my anger is I am jealous of the fact that he has treated her better in 4 months of dating, than he did me in 5 years of marriage.  It hurts and makes me feel like shit.  I know a lot of it is I want that happy family life with somebody, and I don't have anybody.  So, I was kind of taking it out on her, and in reality she is a pretty nice person (at least so far) and really didn't deserve my shittiness (that's a Laura word..ha ha).  I know one day my knight in shining armor will show up (unless he fell off of his horse and stabbed himself with his sword), but until then, it's really hard to see him in a happy family life setting and all that mess.

by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 11:02 AM
We didn't at first. He's a good dad. Just a lousy mate lol.
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by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 11:18 AM

Well, when he actually comes around, we get along and talk like 2 normal adults. I don't want DS to see us are arguing or know that we can't get along. It's all for DS's sake. If DS wasn't here, he could fall off the face of the earth, and I wouldn't care.

by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 12:11 PM

We get along.  He lives in another state though, so that helps.  We spent three years of marriage fighting viciously.  I knew it was over after we both got to a point where we were just defeated and couldn't do it anymore. 

Now that the separation has set it, he tries to talk to me about things other than the kids, like his GF and his friends and his activities.  But I just want to keep my distance from him, while remaining civil.

by Gold Member on Jun. 5, 2010 at 12:21 PM

we get along fine in front of my son. In reality, we don't get along badly, he just thinks he should be allowed to do whatever he wants and I don't allow it and he gets mad.

by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 12:35 PM

Right now we are being civil and only disscussing issues pertaning to our daughter or money. We tried to be friends right off the bat, but he already has a new girlfriend (we have only been separated 2 months) so its hard to talk to him right now. I no longer can talk to him on the phone and told him to contact me thru texts and emails only...I need to heal first...but we hope to eventually be able to be friends.

by on Jun. 5, 2010 at 12:45 PM

My ex and I get along real We have had our ups and downs but I would venture to say we are pretty decent friends at this point. If I need help with something, moving something, putting something together, I can always call him and he will help. When he picks the kids up and drops them off we usually sit and bullshit for a while. He still pisses me off at times but I have learned to keep it to myself unless it is directly affecting the kids. I like him as a person...sometimes I wish he would step up being a better father but he does alright.

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