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Dads still doing the Rave scene

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 12:42 PM
  • 3 Replies
I know when we were younger some of us had our party days. Going out with friends to bars, clubs and just being free and having fun. But when you become a parent things change, you can't always go out with your friends or whatever else it may be. Personally that's ok with me because spending time with my son and hanging out with other friends that have kids is awesome. Don't get me wrong there are times when I miss having my freedom but who doesn't. Being a single parent gets hard sometimes especially on us moms. We do tend to have our children more than the dads do and they seem to have most of the freedom and call the shots. But when the dad is almost 29 years old and starting to get into the Rave scene again and doing ectasy what do you say? My sons dad has gone two times since memorial day and plans on going to more. Yesterday he was suppose to meet me at his parents house to do our sons 2nd birthday invitations and didn't show up till to and was still really not with it in the head. I know that we are not together anymore but I worry that one of those times he goes to a rave that something will go wrong and my son will have no father.
I have worked in the medical field for almost 6 years now and I've seen everything especially working in the trauma room. I just don't want him to be one of those emergency patients who end up dying on the trauma room bed. Am I overreacting on this or am I just tired of waiting for him to grow up and realize that he's not a kid anymore, he's a dad. A dad who needs to be there for his son who has special needs.
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by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 12:42 PM
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Replies (1-3):
Mia1983
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 6:17 PM

Ugh, sounds familiar.  It's true what you said about us single moms having it harder. You aren't together so I don't know if you're going to have much influence in making him act like some type responsible father as long as he's doing the bare minimum with support and visitation. 

It's the same with my ex.  When I'm up with my daughter at 1:30am as her teeth come in, he is out at a bar laughing it up with his drinking buddies.  When my daughter decides she wants to break routine and wake up Saturday morn at 5:00 am instead of 7, the ex is sound asleep in his bed with his childless gf.  If my kids get ill, I break my plans, no matter what and no matter who.  His life goes on.

Your ex's possible drug use is one issue...  But as far as him having an easy ride, this is how I feel about my ex when he's living it up and partying:  he gets to dodge the bad shit I go through with the kids, but I get 99% of the good moments.  I wouldn't trade places with him. 

I hope you get some advice from moms who have more experience with this.

tyfry7496
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:35 PM

 You are not overreacting, you want what is best for your son. He needs his daddy and if his daddy is doing E his daddy may not be here very long. I don't know how you can get him to realize this because he won't change or get help until he understands that it is a problem. How is he when he is around the baby? Maybe limiting his time alone with his son, would help him see the light. Tell him that as long as he is taking drugs, he cannot be alone with the baby.  What do his parents say about his drug use? Maybe leave pamphlets or computer printouts of the affects of E on a person's body and mind for them to read or for him to find. I wish I had more ideas, just protect your baby..he is the most important.

adulation
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:15 PM

hmm... 29 for men isn't really a "grown up" age.  I have acquaintances going on 40 that still go to bars/clubs a few times a week.  granted, it's not the "rave" scene,  but it's still excesive partying.

anywayyy if it were an occasional thing, I would try not to let it get to me too much, but if it's habitual, then obviously it will affect your [kid's] life if he's involved. 
I guess personally I would be more worried about the negative influence he'll be to your son if he's doing too much drugs...  sometimes no dad is better than a shitty one.  something i've learned the hard way, thanks to Lila's dad.  =\

 


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