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How the H#@# do i make friends in person! Fustrated and lonely!

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:47 PM
  • 27 Replies

So I have joined some meetup groups in my area and they all like to meet at night and on weekends. Like I really want to bring a 12, 10, 8 and 4 year old with me.

I asked two of them if they would ever consider having a few meet ups on weekdays days. One replied and was very nice about it bus basically said no. So I wrote her a note back but the box said I was like 900 some charters over. So I copied it and erased it and just felt like posting it some where as a single mom vent. What that means is you guys get it! Yah you. lol, JK!

This is my to long note:

Thanks for your reply...,
I saw Eve Ensler on Tyra and was inspired to read her book The Vagina Monologues. It's such a wonderful book.While reading it some things in my brain just clicked right into place. One being I always thought I needed a man in my life. I'm 39 and I've felt this way since i was 13. lol Sad, but true and common. I don't feel that way any more. I like just being comfortable on my own and the lack of stress relationships bring. Not that I give up on romance and all, just not in a hurry any more. Well, my kids were with their daddy last week and weekend, (he'll be here till the ...). I realized how much I wish I had friends. I believe having friends is healthy so I won't work on changing that. But making friends is much easier said than done. Way easier! Like you said you all are usually busy during the day. I'm the opposite, I'm busy at night and weekends with my kids. I have some wonderful friends on line but I can't go out and have fun with them. I have another friend and a used-to-be-boy-friend but still friend friend. Both are too busy pretty much all the time and they both don't really accept me for who I am. Two of my kids have Asperger's and they think it's all in my head, they both think my ex is a better parent.... Not cool! Kinda funny though. haa haa snort! Well, that's about it! I will keep trying to think of things. If ya got any ideas I'd be happy to hear them. I hope your weekend was good,

I'm just really having a hard time making friends and it's starting to depress me. I don't want to go there so I will keep trying to find groups and stuff to attend. Ug!

Happy beginning of the week everyone!

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 9:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:01 PM

I have a hard time meeting people too. It's almost easier to date, then it is to find friends.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:27 PM

 Volunteer at your kids schools, go to storytime at the library, join a support group for parents of children with Aspergers, talk to parents at the park. Take an exercise class. I wish I was closer, I would be your friend.

by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 2:17 AM
I too cant seem to meet friends in person! I am 26 have a 1yr old son and no friends
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by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 4:21 AM

Thanks for the I would be your friend reply. See, it seems all the cool people live far away. I did meet three people on here in my area. I got together with one of them once. she was very nice and hopefully we'll get together again soon.

I would love to do some volunteer work but not any where near where kids are. Having four kids is enough kid time I believe. I would like some adult time. I've looked into it before and i don't know if it's me or my town but it was easier said than done too. You'd think volunteering would be an easy find, well, not so much. But I'll try again. Part of the problem is my schedule with the kids and when they get sick and stuff. I just need to keep at it.

Part of what depressed me I believe is that their daddy was here for two weeks. My friends in Missouri bussed me out to them for the first week and then i came home. I just love the all to-my-self house thing, but the going out by my self thing sucked. That's were I would have really liked to have had some friends, adult kind. My kids will be back this Tuesday and their daddy will leave around Thursday. he keeps changing his mind. If i get upset about something he makes the date earlier. I know, such a sweetie. Ug!  The next time he will be able to visit and give me a break will be in about a year and a half. He's being stationed on a Navy cargo ship in San Diego and they will be out to sea pretty much the whole time. Sooooo, thus the reason for my dispare. Recently I learned about some meetings for special needs families and stuff that I hope to attend.  On eof the ladies doing my sons testing told me about them. I had contacted the only Autism group I could find which is in a city not far from mine. I e-mailed them twice but they didn't reply. I really am starting to wonder about this place. Maybe it isn't heaven after all. haa haa, aaa, yeah right! 

Of course I love my babies like crazy but with out a break I go crazy.

by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 5:52 AM

I have no friends either, i used to have tons of friends but since having my son alot of my friends dont have time to hang out anymore i guess. I am 22 my son will be 1 year on June 26th and ive hung out with maybe 2 of my friends since he was born last year. I dont have a clue how to meet people either doesnt help that im kinda shy in person and wont just go up to people and start talking to them lol so yea friday night when my son was with his dad i went to the bar for karoake by myself that was tons of fun...not oh well at least i got compliments for my singing lol

Where do you live? If you lived by me i would totally be your friend!

by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 8:49 AM

 When you figure it out, please let me know. I used to have lots of friends, but then I married asshole #2. Now we are divorced and I am finding out that no one ever liked him!!!! Plus it always seems that as single moms we are always busy with work and kids and more!! It was so much easier making friends when we were kids.

And to the other mom, please let me know your "secret" for dating too!! I haven't been on a date in a year and he was a complete loser!!!

by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 9:34 AM


by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 9:39 AM

I feel like I could have written this myself!  Just like you, I have tons of online, CM friends that are super awesometastic.  But also super far away.  My only adult, female to female interaction takes place in my groups.

Everyone tells me I need to get out more, but if you don't have a friend to go go to a bar, or a play or whatever ALONE?  Then sit there watching groups of women laugh and talk, feeling like a lonely loser?  Or do you awkwardly walk up to them, and say...hey be my friend?

I mean, it's just so hard!  There are no meet-ups close to me (I live in the COUNTRY) and I joined like three CM groups for meet ups in the area, but all three of the groups are absolutely dead, so I envy you even that!

Good luck, keep us posted!

by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 10:23 AM

 I think I could of written this post myself about a year ago. I knew that I needed to get out more, and I needed to hang out with adults, but finding them is too damn hard. It's not like you can go pick friends out at Wal-mart lol!

For me, I jumped at every volunteer opportunity I heard about. For me, it's that everything is done during the work day, and I have to work. I also joined a church and immediately got involved in things there. I really have been focusing on putting myself out in places - and after almost a year, I am definitely not as isolated as I was last summer.

by on Jun. 14, 2010 at 10:41 AM

I crave an adult conversation... I miss talking about sports, politics, the economy, and movies.  I spend time with woman from work, but we really don't have anything in common. I feel like it is a forced play-date, we are stuck together because our kids kinda like to play together. They didn't even know who Tipper Gore was! So I asked who is Al Gore, and they responded "Um, I don't know! Why?" I just walked away. I'd rather sit and watch Yo Gabba Gabba then have another conversation with these clueless people!


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