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Single moms and dating

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:24 PM
  • 6 Replies

 Does it scare you to date? I have two little girls and I'm not planning to have a boyfriend any time soon. So many guys out there seem nice and then when it's too late you find out they're creeps. I wanna be open to possibilties, I'm 31, but my girls come first.For now, the guys I date don't ever get to meet them. I honestly feel there's no reason for them too, and when they ask to, I cut them loose.  

Are you scared to date?

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:24 PM
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by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:39 PM

Not not really. I have other fears when it comes to dating. I don't date that way. Not that I am saying that what I do date isn't capable. they are. My kids are teenagers with the exception of my 12 yo who lives with his father. No one meets him unless I am with that person for awhile. My oldest dd is the only one would meet that person first because after my ex left, her and my son got overprotective of who I go out with. So they want to make sure that this person going to be ok for me at least in theory. Anyone that I talk to and right now its online or over the phone, the two older ones are aware of.

by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 12:14 AM

Dating does worry me.  I have a number of concerns:

I don't want anyone thinking they can take advantage of me because they think I'm a desperate single mom.

I don't want to get serious with someone only to find out they just enjoy playing daddy.  My girls don't need that.

I am tired of guys who expect me to act like I don't have kids (not gonna happen).  I am worried I will not meet anyone who gets that I can't go out after 8pm and I can't just up and do a lot of things.

The biggest reason I'm hesitant about dating is that deep down I know I'm not ready for a relationship.  I went to see a therapist and she told me that relationships have the most potential when they involve two independently healthy individuals.  I want to get to a place where I feel good about myself and won't depend on another person to make me happy.

by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 12:36 AM

I was but not because of my son. I just didn't want to be in a relationship because i was scared of being tied down to one person, not being able to sleep with other people if I wanted to,scared that I would just cheat on them constantly, etc. Then I met my SO and none of those things have even crossed my mind. We've been together a year and a half.. I let him meet my son 5-6 months after we met..

I feel like when it's right, it just works.

by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:41 AM

Dating really does scare me.

I have been officially single now for 4 months and just the thought scares me.  I have a 9 month old so the saving grace is that I do not have time to worry about it.  But I know some day it will happen.  I know my x is already dating but he sees our son for a total of 8 hours a week so he has all the time in the world to do it.  I am afraid to be judged by people for being a single mom.  I am not sure where to even meet someone to date.  And God forbid I pick someone like my x again and fall into the same trap.  Eeeeek

Yes ... terrified of dating

by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:45 AM

I'm not really scared, I'm just not ready.

by Ruby Member on Jun. 28, 2010 at 11:45 AM

 i think that kids should meet all of mommys friends. i always kept any and all men away from my kids, and now they hate any man that looks at me. they have boy and girl friends at school, i just dont understand why it should be any different from adults. just no affection in their presence unless its serious.

i tend ot meet guys through friends, and be friends w them first though. if i was meeting guys to date, id wait a bit.


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