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i wanna cry.

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:40 PM
  • 7 Replies

so i have the TANF meeting tomorrow.

i have a total panic attack over this.  i am totally stressing about what is going to happen and what is going they are going to say.  

i can't deal with this.  this is NOT working!!! 

i'm crying over this!!!!

fuck my anxiety and depression. 

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by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:40 PM
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Replies (1-7):
luvmykaitygrace
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:42 PM

Honey! Just take a deep breath! It's OKAY! Why are you feeling like this? It is b/c you won't get what you need or still b/c you don't want to be on PA?

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:49 PM

because i need my meds. i haven't bought them in several months because i can't afford them.

when i go off my meds, i can't handle life.  prolly part of what attributed to me losing my last job. without my meds, it's hard for me to get out of bed i get so upset and stressed out over basic stuff, like taking a shower.  i know that seems crazy but my anxiety and depression are that bad.

with my meds, i function on a basic level but not like most people do.  i still have trouble with doing things that are new or dealing with anything that is out of the norm. 

no, i don't want to be on PA so that doesn't help my anxiety any.  but i don't know if they are gonna help me get my meds so that i can be semi normal or what is going to happen.  

the last time i tried to get help after i moved back here, they told me that they didn't have to help me! so i have little faith in them, which stresses me out too.  

i know i need therapy and my meds.  i know that i do but i can't afford it, so it doesn't happen.

in the last 5 years, i have had 10 jobs, some for as little as 3 weeks because i cannot get it together.  

Quoting luvmykaitygrace:

Honey! Just take a deep breath! It's OKAY! Why are you feeling like this? It is b/c you won't get what you need or still b/c you don't want to be on PA?


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luvmykaitygrace
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:58 PM

OMG! I'm so sorry! I actually know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I have been like that before. I would cry at the drop of a hat change jobs if someone even looked at me wrong. Oh I've so been there!

Here's what I would do, most places have a department of mental health. I would go there, they usually work on sliding scales for the fees the charge and b/c  you aren't making anything it should be free.

Then I would also look up the company that manufactures your med and apply for help directly through them. You can often get them for cheap that way!

Hang in there mama. I would make this a priority b/c it doesn't sound like things are going to get better super fast so you need to find some way to get back on your meds and just take it day by day...

Wow again, my heart goes out to you! I can remember so vividly crying b/c I could spell a word right on my homework or having a melt down about parking my car. I'm so sorry!

hugs

Singlemomks
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:33 PM

 I am sorry that you have so much anxiety! That must be hard to deal with! I agree with Meaghan, there are programs specifically for mental health, and often work on sliding scales. I know the one here doesn't charge much at all, and might even be free for those who don't have income.

Hugs sweetie! I sure hope they help you and you can get back on the meds!

jeepingirrl
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:37 PM

I am with the other ladies.....your community health center should be able to help you out with your meds. Mental disorders of any type are no longer taken very lightly and there should be help available to you. Hang in there! I hope things get better for ya!

LovinKayla
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:56 PM

I'm on my way out the door but i have a few encoraging words for you. I'll be back later. Hang in there hun

LovinKayla
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:48 PM

Hi hun, Hope your feeling a bit better now. I am so sorry your going through this.

All the encouragement I had to share magically disappeared while I was gone. UGH! How I hate having ADHD. Well in addition to having ADHD I am also Bipolar with high Anxiety. So I am in your shoes a lot of days.

I understand not wanting to get out of bed, and the thought of taken a shower is like going to your own funeral. And if someone happens to disagree with your choices it's demoralizing.

Since my separation I am living with my parents and it's not easy. Because they don't understand my illness. And I am currently financial responsible for the entire house hold. Which adds to my anxiety. I'm having so many anxiety attacks in one day. My meds aren't doing a lick of good. 

I just keep praying things will get easier and my mental disorder & anxiety will just go away!


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