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How would you feel?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:17 AM
  • 7 Replies

I had a fiance a few years ago. Obviously, it didnt work out. He was controlling, abusive, and much more. I finally realized after 4 years of bullcrap that it would never change and thats not how I Wanted to live my life. His family and I were very close. They treated my DD like their own and loved her with every fiber of her being. 

He then got a gf, and she got pregnant, all of us stopped talking, they havent seen or talked to DD in almost 2 years. I feel bad often because I know how much they all loved her. And I knew how much him and I could have worked out, and it hurts my heart to know that we never did and he now has a gf with a son and another on the way. (Maybe its because Im still all alone, and he was the one that messed our relationship up with bruises, pushing and words)


So my brother and sister have his whole family including his new gf and him on their facebook. It hurts me. His sister ahs sad mean awful stuff to me, and her and my sister are like best friends.  He has hit me, and pushed me, and this is something I have never admitted, but pretty much had sex with me when I was sitting there begging him not to. I know they dont know that, but isnt his abuse and verbal abuse enough to not want to be friends with him. Shortly after I left him, my sister DITCHED me to hang out with him. 2 years after him and I were together I had found out that they had slept together when him and I were still only in "dating" status.

I just cant stand this, I think about it all the time and how much it hurts me and they know it hurts me to. I can not even fathom why people think that this is okay. Or am I just being dramatic and I shouldnt even think about it? Cause as of right now I dont even want to go to OKC next month like we plan on doing.

I also just found out that my mom bought my sister ANOTHER car, when I was carless it was too bad and I should deal with it, but this is the 3rd car my mom has bought her. They make me soo mad, I reallly think life would be better if I just didnt talk to them at all sometimes!

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:17 AM
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Replies (1-7):
by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:22 AM

It sounds like your family doesn't have their priorities straight.....keep your head up girl!!  You are doing a great job and it took alot of courage to leave that situation so that your dd and you didn't have to live like that!  She will be greatful to you in the future!

by Dawn on Jul. 25, 2010 at 9:22 AM

I disowned my father for buying a car for his slutty girlfriends prostitute daughter, on my 21st birthday. I do understand how you feel and if i had a sister who slept with my partner while we were dating, i would never speak to her again. you are just the bigger person in this situation, feel good that you are not going to feel bad after a while.

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:22 AM

From reading your posts it seems like your family has a pattern of favortism towards your sister. Your best bet is to just try not to pay attention to it. There is really nothing you can do about why sit and let it get to you over and over again? It's shitty that they are like that....but it seems like that is the case.

As far as your said in your post that you thought it really could have worked out between the two of you. No it couldnt. He was abusive and sleeping with your sister. Be glad he is no longer your problem. I certainly would not dwell on that relationship.

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:27 AM

I dont dwell on it I guess. And I know it could not have worked out BECAUSE of him, I guess I just wonder why he has a family,and a companion toi share it with. When Im the one who deserves to be happy and to be treated well.

I dont always let it take over but sometimes I get in moods and I think about it. My family says its jealous, call it that if you will, maybe it is jealousy maybe its something else, whatever it is, I have been given reasons to feel this way.  Just sucks, and it sucks taht my kids have to witness it.

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:44 AM

 It's always hard to see our ex's have new gf's and new families. Especially when we are left behind and are alone. Try to remember that you did the right thing - and even on your worst days, they are better than if you were with him.

Your family definitely shows favoritism towards your sister, somehow you have to move on from how messed up that is. Hold your head high, you will find a good man at some point!

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:47 AM
Looks can be deceiving. They might look happy, but he could be treating his new girl the same or worse than you. Maybe you haven't opened yourself up to an amazing relationship because you are too busy dwelling on the past. Unfortunately when couples breakup there might be some mutual friendships. It's possible he has told a different version of the truth (there are 3: mine, yours, and the truth) and people believe him over you. As far as your sister, it's not wrong to remove family who are nothing but negative from your life.
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by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:55 AM

They know he was an asshole to me. They are the ones that would tell me if I Went back theyd report me to CPS and take my daughter away.  And now my family is friends with him and his gf. Regardless if my family believed me or not, they should be supportive and have my back. Thats what family is for, but not my family.. obviously. I hate that my children only have me to teach them how important family is and values and morals!

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