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Child support-Venting

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 4:33 PM
  • 15 Replies
So i went for support of my almost 5 month old and the more i sit here thinking about it it pisses me off more. We have been friends so i tried to be reasonable and i think i was. We go in they calculate and he makes more than me so his percentage was 75 mine is 25 so that means they take our 2 incomes and the came up with 106 a week and then so they asked if he could carry insurance he agreed and it took off 16 a week so his payment is 90 i think it is fair. So they ask if we agree upon his name and he said he can keep her name. Not to be nice either. Then they asked if he wanted visitations and he looked at her and said NO i live a hour away she said so you are going to work something out between the 2 of you he said no i live a hour away. He has been seeing him here and there so i take it he is pissed and not going to see him at all. A hour so what even if he came and seen him once in a while. I don't know if he was just mad at the time or what. But why would he punish our son over 90 a week? So then he said he wanted me to pay half of the Dna i said forget it i will pay 1/2 im not argueing over $95 so they deducted that from his arrears. I did ask for support from the day he was born at first he tried to fight it and she asked me why first and when it got to him he said nevermind i will pay it. I think he only did that cause he knew he was going to have to anyways. SO he is 1700 behind and he is paying 10 a week on it. Thenhe had the nerve to ask who claims him on his taxes? She said well normally the mom and i was nice and i told him if he got his paymants deducted from his check and no payments were late and the arrearage was paid i would rotate years with him. So basically every other year he gets to claim him and then i thought that was rather nice of me cause he is essentially going to get back what he pays out in a year every other year.  What a JERK i told him when we left 90 is nothing so get over it he has no daycare cost or any of that i told him if i put him daycare he has to pay 75 percent of 145 so he would have to pay out another 100+ a week in daycare but to help both of us out i work from home. So there are no daycare cost. MEN they will never understand sorry this is so long. Just needed to vent.
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 4:33 PM
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blg119
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 5:23 PM
First of all....if your child lives with you most of the time, you should claim your child on the taxes. If it is 50/50 than you can alternate. I know you want to be nice, but you need to take care of you and your child.

Second, sorry that you are having so many problems. Men can be quite irritating and mean when it comes to helping with the raising of a child. I am in the same boat, but have learned to just not even expect a child support payment and I NEVER include it into my budget. When I do get a payment, I get excited first of all, secondly I look to see if Mason needs anything. If not, I throw it into our savings account.

newmom52907
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 5:37 PM
I'm not sure there is anything i can do about it now i agreed i get odd years and he gets even i thought about after i got home and decided i proboly should ot have agreed to that. So when 2008 comes i wonder if i can deny him the ss number to do it. Proboly not now. I just think he is being way unreasonable there were a few things we did not agree upon and we decided he to try to work them out without the judge and i proboly should have just let her decide. I wanted him to pay from birth and he did not want to so he agreed to that. And i wanted his name to remain my last name he agreed to that. Then i agreed to him getting to file taxes every other year and i would pay 1/2 of the DNA. Now i think he got the better end of the deal. Maybe in one year October of 08 i can ask that that be changed. He also get's bonuses and i can get 10% of every one if i want i was not trying to take him to the cleaners or anything i just think he may have got the good end of the deal and he is BITCHING that he got screwed. HOW? Is what i don't get.
blg119
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 5:44 PM
If it is court ordered, you cannot withhold the child's SS#/and not let him file. You will be held contempt of court. However, I will tell you as soon as he is not paying child support or not doing what he is supposed to, you take action. Don't let him deny what is owed you. You can always ask to go back to court to have it all reviewed again at a later date.

newmom52907
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 6:43 PM
Yeah that was the deal we agreed if he paid on time every week well he got it deducted from his check and if he was paid in full on his arrearage of 1700 he could file in 08 so if he keeps paying weekly and pays the 1700 he gets to file. I will be down there if he does not pay but i don't think it will be a problem. He has had the same job for years and he got it taken out of his checks. Thanks for the advise. I'm easy to get along with and i can agree upon stuff but i won't let him not pay i know some girls do and i think they are crazy for not filing for support. Thanks again
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2007 at 6:48 PM
girl screw being nice. you need to do for you and the CHILD. forget him!

he should be responsible for arrears, insurance, AND half the daycare. AND if he has NO visitation, he pays more. the more he sees the kid, the less he pays.

you shouldnt even trip if he doesnt want to be there. you cant make him, its his choice. just you do your job as a mom. and stop trying to compromise.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2007 at 6:49 PM
also, you can get a modification in either 6 months or a year. find out. so when you modify, change it back to claiming the child. think of it this way.. why should he get a tax break benefit for being a parent, when essentially, he isnt, if he has no visitation???

RHEMom
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 7:29 PM
I'm curious what state you live in, because here in CA, $90 a week means he's making next to nothing. I did an online calculator to find out how much my boyfriend would be court required to pay and I almost choked. It would leave him with very little to live on. I could never ask him for that much. $90 a week sounds almost like a reasonable amount. Certainly nothing to get mad over. I'm sorry your ex doesn't realize how good he actually has it. And it's a shame he's going to miss out on the joy of being a parent. How could anyone make that choice? Stay strong.
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2007 at 7:30 PM
what website is this?
Quoting RHEMom:

I'm curious what state you live in, because here in CA, $90 a week means he's making next to nothing. I did an online calculator to find out how much my boyfriend would be court required to pay and I almost choked. It would leave him with very little to live on. I could never ask him for that much. $90 a week sounds almost like a reasonable amount. Certainly nothing to get mad over. I'm sorry your ex doesn't realize how good he actually has it. And it's a shame he's going to miss out on the joy of being a parent. How could anyone make that choice? Stay strong.



MissMommie84
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 7:42 PM

WHEN YOU FILE YOUR TAXES YOU FILE YOUR BABY ON THEM. IT ISN'T FAIR THAT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE THE BABY THAT HE CAN FILE HIM ON HIS TAXES.

MEN COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LITTLE BIT THAT THE COURTS ORDER THEM TO PAY AND IT ONLY GOES BUT SO FAR. MY SON'S FATHER WAS ORDERED TO PAY $106 A WEEK BUT EVERYTIME THEY STARTED TAKING OUT HIS CHECK HE WOULD QUIT HIS JOB AND MOVE TOT HE NEXT ONE THEN HE MOVED OUT OF STATE SO NOW HE IS 20 GRAND BEHIND IN CHILD SUPPORT AND THEY KEEP PICKING HIM UP. I LIVE IN NEW JERSEY AND THEY TAKE CHILD SUPPORT SERIOUS....

BEING A SINGLE MOM IS HARD AND CHILD CARE ASSISTANCE WON'T REALLYHELP UNLESS YOU ARE DAMN NEAR BROKE BUSTED AND CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

DON'T BE UPSET THOUGH IT WILL GET BETTER FOR YOU!!!! TRUST ME IT WILL

newmom52907
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 7:53 PM

Quoting faerie75:

what website is this?
Quoting RHEMom:

I'm curious what state you live in, because here in CA, $90 a week means he's making next to nothing. I did an online calculator to find out how much my boyfriend would be court required to pay and I almost choked. It would leave him with very little to live on. I could never ask him for that much. $90 a week sounds almost like a reasonable amount. Certainly nothing to get mad over. I'm sorry your ex doesn't realize how good he actually has it. And it's a shame he's going to miss out on the joy of being a parent. How could anyone make that choice? Stay strong.





I live in Indiana and 90 is about average. The calculator online is www.ingov/judiciary/childsupport. It is a online calculator i calculated mine but i did it with his bonuses and it should have been 145 a week is what it said but then i did not realize his bonuses were not included in on the support and i called the prosecutor and she said i could go back and ask for 10% of every bonus he get's but they have to do it seperate Since it is not guarenteed he get's them he has to meet quota first. But he had one on the check he showed for 3,000 so i should have got 300 i can if i fo back. Oh he makes 30,000 a year and bonuses is what he said he told me he makes 50 a year but his stubs matched for 30 a year and the bonuses don't count on the regular support. Maybe i should move to CA he would love me then. LOL
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