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Child support-Venting

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So i went for support of my almost 5 month old and the more i sit here thinking about it it pisses me off more. We have been friends so i tried to be reasonable and i think i was. We go in they calculate and he makes more than me so his percentage was 75 mine is 25 so that means they take our 2 incomes and the came up with 106 a week and then so they asked if he could carry insurance he agreed and it took off 16 a week so his payment is 90 i think it is fair. So they ask if we agree upon his name and he said he can keep her name. Not to be nice either. Then they asked if he wanted visitations and he looked at her and said NO i live a hour away she said so you are going to work something out between the 2 of you he said no i live a hour away. He has been seeing him here and there so i take it he is pissed and not going to see him at all. A hour so what even if he came and seen him once in a while. I don't know if he was just mad at the time or what. But why would he punish our son over 90 a week? So then he said he wanted me to pay half of the Dna i said forget it i will pay 1/2 im not argueing over $95 so they deducted that from his arrears. I did ask for support from the day he was born at first he tried to fight it and she asked me why first and when it got to him he said nevermind i will pay it. I think he only did that cause he knew he was going to have to anyways. SO he is 1700 behind and he is paying 10 a week on it. Thenhe had the nerve to ask who claims him on his taxes? She said well normally the mom and i was nice and i told him if he got his paymants deducted from his check and no payments were late and the arrearage was paid i would rotate years with him. So basically every other year he gets to claim him and then i thought that was rather nice of me cause he is essentially going to get back what he pays out in a year every other year.  What a JERK i told him when we left 90 is nothing so get over it he has no daycare cost or any of that i told him if i put him daycare he has to pay 75 percent of 145 so he would have to pay out another 100+ a week in daycare but to help both of us out i work from home. So there are no daycare cost. MEN they will never understand sorry this is so long. Just needed to vent.
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 4:33 PM
Replies (11-15):
mommadee123
by on Oct. 15, 2007 at 11:27 PM
I agree with the others ... screw being nice.  I was nice to mine when I first moved from Wisconsin to Minnesota.  Hell I even gave him a ride to court that first time.  What was I thinking???  I figured I wanted to keep the peace.  Well as the years went by and I found out he was abusing my 2 girls and his wife was hitting my son on visitations, I didn't become nice anymore. 

Last time we were in court for support he had to pay $733.88 and he whined about that but the judge seen everything I had written down about the abuse on the kids and didn't let him budge one little bit and I had my backbone sitting right behind me, someone who hated him more than I did.  He will walk all over you as long as you let him.  As far as the DNA test, I would have made him pay.  I was a SAHM and he wanted DNA test so the state of Wisconsin made him pay it not me.  If I had to do it all over again I would have raked his nasty a$$ through the coals and not cared. 

Just remember he is an ex for a reason... screw being nice anymore.  Do what you need to for your children.  Hope it all works out for the best!
Dee
newmom52907
by on Oct. 16, 2007 at 8:12 AM
I know you are right i thought about this all night last night and got no sleep.  Reality hit hard i realized he is going to do what he wants anyways being nice or trying to remain friends and on his good side is not going to make him a better dad or come around more. If he truly loves his boy then he will come around i guess that is when i realized maybe he does not care. What is done is done but in the future i'm going to think about myself and my child more it appears that is what he is doing. I don't even want him anymore at this point i just wanted him there for our son but i cannot make him. So we will see. Thanks Again.
shasha22366
by on Oct. 16, 2007 at 8:33 AM
This is exactly why I decided to not even bother.  He has NO rights to my son whatsoever.  His name is not on Mason's birth certiificate, he has no paterntiy and I know he ain't going to bother and Mason has MY last name.  I figured instead of arguing with him and trying to get $$ out of him (and I know how far behind he is on his other 3 kids) it would be less stressful on all of us.  It aint easy financially, but luckily I have a really good job with good benefits, so it makes it just a tad bit easier, I have just learned to cut back on other things.  We have actually become "friends" again even though he doesn't see Mason that often(he lives in MD and we live in VA).   When he does make the effort, he asks what he can bring, so I usually have him bring diapers (which I now have enough to probably last me until the end of the year).  I think because I'm not nagging him about it, he seems to be more willing to bring "something" which is better than trying to get $$ out of him and worrying about it.  I think that I really did make the right decision for now anyway.  I know I'm going to have to deal with trying to explain the whole "daddy" thing at some point, but for now I feel less stressed.  Good luck!
natasha2569
by on Oct. 16, 2007 at 12:50 PM
Its not about him, its NEVER about him. I dont really understand those who dont bother because they just dont want to deal. I plan on giving my daughter MY last name, but thats because the father isnt helping or supporting m through this pregnancy. I plan on filling for Child Support when she gets here and I am not settling for anything. Whatever the state of GA makes him pay now matter how high is what he will pay. Its not about me, its about the well being of my child and doing whats best for her. I was "nice" to him for 5 years and look where it got me . About to be a single mother, with no support from him at all. AS far as rights, My child will be in MY full custody and in the end its what I Say goes, Personally my ideal is him having to pay child support and if he doesnt want to be a part of her life at all thats fine with me! Better all the way out then half way in. I dont' care if he gets mad, I dont care if he doesnt want to be friends..( can you feel the bitterness ladies ?? lololol ) but  serriously I have thought long and hard on this, and in the end do what you have to do to make sure your child is safe, protected an taken care of. The father is grown and can take care of himself.

newmom52907
by on Oct. 17, 2007 at 8:19 AM
Man he must have been a REAL JERK cause it sounds like you are very bitter. LOL I was trying to be nice only cause he does try a little could be worse. I have seen far worse but i guess i shouldn't think like that. Thanks you made me laugh at that one.
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