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I need help....I totally lost it today.

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:19 AM
  • 7 Replies

I'm a single Mom with no family/support system nearby.  I am educated and have a decent, but not great income.  I make bills, but have no money for savings, vacation, retirement, etc.

I have a 6 year old daughter, who is very well-behaved for her age...I am very proud of this fact, but today, she absolutely sent me over the edge.

I work nights, so I sleep during the day.  Today, I only got to sleep a 1/2 day because of other obligations and picked her up from school and we ran errands.  I went to lay down around 7:30...she said she wanted to stay up and watch TV...I told her it was ok.

About 9:00, she came into my bedroom and she crawled on my bed, which is ok.  But awhile later I thought she was getting up, and I looked through the darkness and she was standing up on the bed, but bent over where her hands were touching the bed, as if to steady herself.  I just smiled and thought she was being silly...because she thought I was asleep...I enjoy watching her imagination...but was worried she would fall off the bed.

I was getting ready to say something when what she did next...SHOCKED me and defied all logic and was totally out of character for her.

She DELIBERATELY unloaded her entire bladder and urinated on my bed.  I originally thought she was vomiting, but when I realized what she was doing, I raced up and without even thinking about it I pushed her off the bed into the floor.  I was so angry.  I turned on the lights and screamed at her, "What is wrong with you????".

She ADMITTED she was awake and that she did it on purpose..she said she was tired and didn't want to get out of bed.

This child has no fear of the dark and gets up all the time, without even turning on a light, to use the bathroom...I have night lights throughout the house.

I spanked her in the bedroom, then made her go to the bathroom and remove her urine soaked clothes, then I spanked her again and probably screamed at her for 15 minutes or longer. 

She was crying and laying in the bathroom floor.  I honestly, didn't care.  I went through the laundry and found her clean PJ's, rinsed off her bottom and got her clean panties and I told her to get in her own bed that sleeping with mommy was OVER.

I'm going tomorrow to get her plastic mattress covers for her beds, if it's uncomfortable, seriously..I don't care.  I do not have the money to replace a mattress...I just don't.

I am sitting her still angry...I had this wonderful weekend planned for us and I don't feel like doing a freaking thing for this kid...she has never done anything so horrible before.  It defies all logic..we had a great day today, she was excited about school, etc.

Please, someone, help me understand.  This is the first time in her LIFE that I have been so angry at her...she was sitting here crying and asked me if I still loved her and I said, "I will tell you tomorrow...right now, the best thing for you to do is to go to bed and shut up."

I tell this child EVERY DAY how much I love her....WHY did she do this?????

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:19 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Lorraina32
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:23 AM

hunny got by her good nite pulls up at bed time

luvmykaitygrace
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:27 AM

Wow mama! I don't have anything but a bump and hug for you.
If it makes you feel any better i'm pretty sure I would have reacted the same exact way you did so don't feel bad about that!

LuluMa27
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:29 AM
I'm so sorry mama! Gosh that must have been really frustrating and difficult. You are not a bad mom. I would think she was just being...a kid. They don't always make the best decisions. No matter how well behaved... Kids do stupid things.

Its okay mama... U know u love her and talk about it more tomorrow. U have every right to be frustrated. I hope tomorrow is a better day for the both of you.
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ProudSingleMum
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:35 AM

I doubt this will help but here is a virtual hug for you. I'd feel like you in this situation.

lewseatea
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:06 AM

Hmm...  Honestly, I think you both made mistakes tonight.  I think it's important for your daughter to know that you still love her, no matter what.  I would just tell her that she made a mistake by peeing on your bed and that you made a mistake by losing your temper.  If you make this into too much of a big deal, she may seek out more negative attention. 

I completely understad your frustration.  My son wet my bed once and I totally lost it with him.  I screamed until he was in tears.  I felt awful afterwards and did apologize to him.  He hasn't done it since. 

Mom2EmilyLouise
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:18 AM

I agree with the above post. Getting mad for a short amount of time is one thing but completely losing it for that long is another. Just tell her you love her and talk to her about how wrong doing something like that is.  Kids do not respond to yelling and going off on her and continuing to treat her badly will only make her angry and want to upset you even more.

Singlemomks
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:34 AM

 I would have reacted the same way. Don't feel bad about losing it - how else would she really get that it was absolutely wrong?? Of course today you can tell her that you still love her - but I personally wouldn't have a long drawn out conversation with her. She is old enough to figure out that what she did was wrong and that it won't be tolerated.

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