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I already cried

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:35 PM
  • 3 Replies

Hi everyone I am a single mom to 4 great teenage kids ages 19 and he and his girlfriend have a 1 wk old son, my next she is 17, next is my 16 yr old son and then my 14 yr old daughter. My ex took off for Australia to marry his true love! Hmmmmm he said that same thing many years ago...... THere is no child support no nothing from him, he didnt even tell them good bye he just left and expected them to understand. I raise them and take care of everything and it is not easy.  Enough of that though I re-entered the dating field a yr and a half ago and met a great guy who I still talk to and he talks to me when he finds time but he is more concerned with his career and making one last go of it! I understand so while he is over 4 n a half hours away I meet gentleman number two who is an hour n a half away!  Why cant ya love to people at the same time and everyone be happy?? 

Well I have been told by gentleman number two he does not want to share so I need to make a decision so after 3 months of talking every night on the phone for hours and spending one if not two nights on the weekend together doing things with my kids or sometimes alone I think I have made my choice! Only problem is that Im not sure what has happened last weekend he was busy all weekend and I do understand that but this weekend he has 3 days off and I understand he is on minimum wage and things but my kids have fallen in love with him and after me promising myself that I would have a friend or two have found myself faced with the fact that I have fallen hard for him!!! He told me Memorial Day that he was falling in love and that I needed to make a choice as he did not want to share!  Now tonight somehow I know it probably wont last but he told me good night at 6:390 I asked him if he was serious and he said good night, I asked if he was ok he didnt reply I also asked if I had done something and tried calling him 3 times to get no answer. He has it rough with his limited income and child support for a 16 yr old son but I have told him that together we can make things work. But after asking him if I did or said something and no reply I called and left a message asking him to please just call me so I didnt sit all night crying and worrying and wondering what I had done.

You guessed it no response. Am I just reading to much into this or should I feel hurt because of this. My oldest can be extremely hard to get along with he is ADD and ODD but they get along so well and I dont want to lose him and I dont want to get my heart broke.......

My kids n I lost my mom on March 17 she was all we had left and so things have been pretty rough. She told me after being married for 27 yrs and him doing this that I didnt need any men in my life!  I dont want to grow old alone I want that someone special beside me in his rickety rocker!!! I have found him so now what?

 Advice is truely appreciated......

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:35 PM
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Replies (1-3):
avasmamma632
by on Aug. 8, 2010 at 1:05 AM

 I am so sorry. What a hard situation. Did you make it clear to him that he was your decision. That is all you can do and really try to talk to him if he will and see if there is some concern or what is going on.
good luck and give us updates when you have them k.

cjsblubird4
by on Aug. 8, 2010 at 9:45 PM

Thought today would be better when we talked for a few minutes he was having really bad computer problems and not having a good day and he is trying so hard to make it! But it got really bad and he said maybe he needs to stay away for awhile and try to get  himself set.  I asked him to please talk to me and all he could say is that he is a loser and needs to get his life straightened out.  The last note from him this after noon was to just leave him alone tonight and not bug him he needs to think and sort things out. I asked him if when he told me he loved me if he meant it and he said yes in many ways he does.... What does that mean? 

 

So I told him I wouldnt bother him he knows where I am!! He sent me one txt about 8 and said he is really bummed out and just gonna go to bed!!!  So I told him again that I love him and hate that he is feeling like this and when he wants to talk I am here! God I have cried so much and I love him I just want us to be ok and be happy together.   Am I dreaming or what should I do?

lyss1983
by on Aug. 8, 2010 at 10:21 PM

 Im so sorry that your hurting. I would just give him some time and space to work things out on his own, thats really all you can do right now. You didn't do anything wrong and the ball is in his court. It may seem like his feelings are wavering, but everyone has bad days and perhaps he is just stressed out. I don't think its fair to judge someone at their worst point... if everything has been good between you two up until now... then don't throw it all away. Give him some time to figure things out in his head and maybe he will feel more comfortable opening up about whatever it is that has got him down. That being said, if he continues to shut you out like this then you may need to reconsider this realtionship. It isn't fair to you or your kids for him to block you all out at the drop of a dime!

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