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I have a small problem

Posted by on Aug. 24, 2010 at 11:14 AM
  • 7 Replies

I need other single mom's perspective

DD's father left us a year ago. She is 2 yrs old. During that time, he has hardly seen her due to his work schedule or whatever.

This past Saturday, he was late picking her up. He called to tell me he was running late at the time he was supposed to meet us. I smarted off at him because I had an appt I had to go to. Well that started WW III. He said he was tired of dealing with me and my rules. I was stupid to expect him to be on time when I know he is always running late. He even picked the time to come meet us. He wanted to be out of her life forever.

The next day he is still telling me he doesnt want to be a part of his life and I need to stop the child support.  Then he proceeds to tell me, that he never wanted her. I tricked him into getting pregnant. He wants a paternity test.

Monday, he sends me a text letting me know if I dont stop the child support he will be seeing her every other weekend and my rules and guidelines will go out of the window. Hours later he is still bugging me to make a decision.

I've spoken with a lawyer. I can stop the support, but legally he can still fight for custody. All his text messages are contradicting. In one he says he will sign over rights, 30 min later he says he wont and I cant make him. Then he says he will sign them over again.

I am considering stopping the support, and having him go to court hire a lawyer and fight for partial custody. Reading his text messages again, he is all about the money aspect. I dont think he has any interest in the well being of DD.

by on Aug. 24, 2010 at 11:14 AM
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Replies (1-7):
MIMIBRIE
by on Aug. 24, 2010 at 11:25 AM

 Dont let him scare you. let him order the DNA test. He will have to pay for it. If you guys have the visitation schedule already set up and he is not there when he is supposed to then its his loss and he wont get her. Sounds like he wants to be a jerk so treat him like one. I doubt he will be there on time seeing as he hasnt been on time before. A friend of mine told her ex to meet her at the police department to trade kids when he wasnt there when he was supposed to she had the police officer sign to say he no showed and that is what she used to prove he wasnt going for the kiddo. After so long she took him back to court and the visitation was modified and he wasnt allowed to keep the same visitation schedule. It sucks that some guys just want the easy way out and regardless if he sees his kid or not he does have to maintain some sort of support. Keep getting your child support from him. If he doesnt want to be on time and get your kiddo then its his loss and at least you get financial help out of it.

Alison81
by on Aug. 24, 2010 at 11:40 AM

 Don't let him bully you. He wants things to be nice and easy but he's not really allowing for that. I wouldn't stop child support, and I would get a notebook to keep track of when he picked her up, how late, etc. Also keep records of the conversations and his threats to you, that can all be used against him in court, especially saying he wants out of her life forever and that you tricked him into getting pregnant. They are always about the money aspect. whenever I get on my older daughter's father about not taking his visitation it's always, I have to work to pay you child support, blah, blah, I always remind him that it is his responsibility to help support his daughter since he chooses not to involve himself in her life. And I don't care when all hell breaks loose, you shouldn't either. Just document everything.

Ness87
by on Aug. 24, 2010 at 11:49 AM

 Dont let him bully you into dropping the CS then he thinks he can still see her when it's convenient for him.  I have also heard of meeting at the police dept for the drop off/pick up.  My ex is never on time either, it's just something I have to accept since I cant change it and thinking I can does no good.  Dont let him scare you...if he's going to act like an ass, let him...just do what you need to so that your little one is taken care of and let the courts help you.  I know there's a way to petition to have his rights revoked.  Save all of the texts and start keeping a notebook and documenting EVERYTHING.  The time he says to meet and the time he actually shows up...when he sees her, his attitude, anything he says to you, how long in between visits or calls/texts to see how she is doing....judges like stuff like that...if you're in a state where only one party needs to know, record phone calls...anything you can do to try and help your case. The judge may get enough of a reason to revoke his rights...and they may still make him pay CS even if they revoke his rights, it's worth a shot plus it makes you look like you have your ducks in a row in the judges eyes by being prepared. Good luck!!

butterfly0424
by on Aug. 24, 2010 at 12:07 PM

I wish I would have started keeping a record of his phone calls. I only kept the important texts and emailed them.

I am assuming, if we go to court then the lawyers can get a copy of the texts from the cell phone company. I can easily pull up the call log and show how many times he has called. Sometimes he would go weeks without calling/texting to check on her. Then want me to send him a recent picture.

 

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Aug. 24, 2010 at 12:11 PM

let him take you to court.  let him pay to fight you. 

he thinks he's paying now, wait til he has to pay court costs AND child support.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Aug. 24, 2010 at 12:16 PM

 do NOT stop the child support. however, take care of everything in court. custody, visitation, and support. he wants to be a dick? dont give in. play his game right back. hes likely saying all that just to hurt you. so, keep the texts. take them to court. and if he continues, file harrassment on him.

dont reply to his shit. dont engage. just take it to the judge. dont let his pussified ass scare you.

 
        
         

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Aug. 24, 2010 at 12:19 PM

 yes! if he dont show up on time its a no show. and if you have it taken care of at the police dept.. well idk about your state but in cali, the more visits he has the less he pays. so if you have this set up and he continually no shows, take him back to court and have his visitation cut down and your support go up.

these fuckers piss me off with their running late shit. my ex ALWAYS used to do that. i have shit to do other than wait around for his ass! im sure you do too.

Quoting MIMIBRIE:

 Dont let him scare you. let him order the DNA test. He will have to pay for it. If you guys have the visitation schedule already set up and he is not there when he is supposed to then its his loss and he wont get her. Sounds like he wants to be a jerk so treat him like one. I doubt he will be there on time seeing as he hasnt been on time before. A friend of mine told her ex to meet her at the police department to trade kids when he wasnt there when he was supposed to she had the police officer sign to say he no showed and that is what she used to prove he wasnt going for the kiddo. After so long she took him back to court and the visitation was modified and he wasnt allowed to keep the same visitation schedule. It sucks that some guys just want the easy way out and regardless if he sees his kid or not he does have to maintain some sort of support. Keep getting your child support from him. If he doesnt want to be on time and get your kiddo then its his loss and at least you get financial help out of it.

 

 
        
         

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