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Break up sex......?

Posted by on Oct. 18, 2007 at 5:29 PM
  • 5 Replies
Ok so we have been finished for 2 weeks but we are talking and friends. Brike up due to his "issues" that he now recieving councilling for. We hope when his drinking and other issues are resolved in a few months years we may still be there and can be a family... So yes we still love each other and care but the break is for the bestright now. But our break up was a little messy and as I said its been 2 weeks since we dsaw each other. I so want a kiss cuddle and the last sex I will probably get in a good while.... seen as I know I'll be waiting until I hear he wants me back or doesn't.

So what do you think good idea bad idea.. I know I'll probably cry and he doesn't want to give me any ideas that may be unfounded. But I think ti will be closure for now..... Im moving town so I won't be looking for this treatment regular lol... This seperation is best he will be taking our son every other weekend so \i'll only see him sortly on these occasions.

Advise please... Am I kidding myself?
by on Oct. 18, 2007 at 5:29 PM
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Replies (1-5):
vamommy3
by on Oct. 18, 2007 at 6:00 PM
Break up sex won't give you closure it will only make things worse. Its too soon after the break up and you are really vulnerable right now. I don't recommend it personally. The one and only time I consented to break up sex I ended up with my 3rd child. Needless to say it didn't go ever well. Your best bet is to stay away from him until he has time to work through his issues and give yourself time to heal and move on.
LeelansMom
by on Oct. 18, 2007 at 6:06 PM
you know thats what he said thats what I know but aye it will remain to be seen how we will deal with this. Exactly the reason Im moving town far enough away not to be too easily reached but close enough for him to be able to collect and see his son.
vamommy3
by on Oct. 18, 2007 at 6:07 PM
Well thats good it gives you some space but allows him to be a part of his child's life and thats important.
Bas-Cat
by on Oct. 18, 2007 at 6:42 PM
I don't know, I have a slightly different opinion on this question...when my husband and I split up it was because he'd fallen in love with my best friend however, he still loved me (wanted his cake and eat it too---both of them even asked if I'd consider the three of us moving in together!). I was 4 mo's pregnant and my hormones just kept me going and going...needless to say, I wound up having sex with him twice even though I'd moved into the other bedroom to begin our separation prior to being able to move out (had to save some cash for a place!)...at that point he'd been kind enough to hold me each night as I cried before sleep...anyway, it had not been detrimental for me as I could separate love and sex. However, it's not quite that easy for a lot of people, so I don't know if this would actually be a "don't try this at home" type of situation or not. You said you both loved each other but due to other issues (I'm guessing it's not cheating and hoping it's not abusive) you've decided to separate. For closure on my relationship, on our last evening together, I lit candles, put on "our" song, had him slow dance with me, had him take my ring off my finger, and then we slept together. We fell asleep crying in eachothers' arms...and then the next morning I moved out. It helped me move on because I turned it into a ceremony of sorts much like that of our getting married. Anyway, I don't know if this reply will help you or not, but just wanted to also let you know that you aren't alone in feeling and thinking these types of things...
LeelansMom
by on Oct. 20, 2007 at 6:55 AM
unfortunatly cheating and abuse are all part of the issues. He has been to doctors since and is waiting on appointments for counciling. Unfortunatly in my country the health care systym is a shambles and things are usually too far gone by the time they get round to you. The past year he has attempted suicide cheated taken coke on occasion hit me and been very abusive and unsupportive... And then there are days where he is great. I believe something happened in his life I believe he needs help he finally agrees.

He was honest enough to tell me he doesn't know if he does or does not love me. And doesn't know what the future holds. I want to wait for him but all this is doing me no good. I am a wreck. And he is also looking for guardianship now so is there any point in me moving! He still has a unhealthy hold on my life.  But I love him I want him better and I want my family back.
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