So my daughter will be 4 in december and well here is a quick run through w/o this being too much to read. Her dad and i were 2gether when i got pregnant, but we kinda just partied a lot. i cant say for sure if i did love him then. Well i got pregnant right before we moved in 2gther. He smoked a lot of weed and just drank every day. i usually only did around him and i was caught up in "his" lifestyle. Well i didnt move in with him moved back home with my mom and did not speak to him till last year. I texted him that i was pregnant and when i was due and everything and he didnt care, said the baby was not his. I went thr my whole pregnancy alone...well my mom was there the whole time thank God. I meet a great guy when kenz was 8 months old and we have been 2gether ever since. Last August, he got my phone number from someone that seen my daughter and said she looks like him and that i really was pregnant..duh....he thought i lied. Well i felt bad and wanted kenz to get the chance to know him. So at first my cousin was around when he came over. and i did not tell my boyfriend. Well about a week into this thing with her dad he tells me he has a drug problem...HEROIN...i have never done anything besides smoke weed and i never even smoked a lot of that. He swore that he did not use needles he snorted it. He told me how he was sick and needed drugs so he could get better, but not be high...yeah he lied....so i ended up letting him borrow money for heroin taking him to bad parts of town to get drugs b/c i did not know anyone where i lived. This whole time telling my bf that i was busy with work and what ever...basically lying. I eventually told my bf everything and told him i wanted to make things work with her dad....Will (dad) was trying to get into rehab's and i was calling and i never knew how hard it is...well basically he went to rehab to this place called white dear or something came home and i thought he would b cured...nope...got hight the next day. I never felt so hurt and sad and disappointed...i was done with him it lasted a month. it was like a month on a month off and the whole time i'd b crying to my ex bf....about March i decided that i did not want anything to do with Will...and i promised my bf taht we would stay away from him....He has never paid any child support let alone provide anythying for her...he almost makes it seem that i should support him b/c i had his child...and he has a problem...So we havnt spoke for a long time...and he started texting me again saying he is clean and going back to school and going to a therapist....i told him bluntly i do not want anything to do with you...he is telling me taht if i keep her away, she is going to wonder why when she is older....MY WORST fear is that kenz will do drugs b/c of her dad...i never want her to know the truth....he is trying to say if i am honest with her about him that she wnt but if i just keep her completly from him she will most likely do drugs....i never wanted his name on her birth certificate b/c i dont want her to know the truth when she is older. is this wrong of me? i just want to protect her...she has Rick (bf) he loves her sooo soo much. I almost want to break down and let him come over...but i know it wnt b just one day...I just dnt know what to do?? Any suggestions?? sorry this is so long....i just dnt have anyone to talk to about this b/c most people dnt know the whole story about his drug problem...Thanks!!! stac
I'm new to this sight...so here is my advice try one time, maybe try play dates outside the house....people do change give him the beneit of the doubt..If he shows sins of being high, run for the border and don't look back... at least you can say you tried.....good luck
Melissa amy
....to the moon and back
. 
Quoting SLK2007:Sounds like he is not recovering and is still trying to manipulate you. I know this seems harsh but in your shoes i would cut him off. Tell him he can see his daughter when he is straight and only when he is straight. He doesnt have a snowball's chance in hell of getting custody he is just trying a scare tactic. Document everyhting you can. Keep a record of everything just incase at some point it ends up in court. (for visitation not custody)I think you should also consider finding a different alanon meeting not every group is created equal. support from others in your shoes or who have been there is so important. ITs worth it. and btw this is just my opinion mind you....the reason for starting to use sounds like bs. one thing i would research is bi polar. Alot of people with bipolar self medicate. just something to think about. Keep in touch! good luck!
I have never lied to her about him...maybe my family...but his mom died from aids and she was a "junky" as well...and he says that he did it the first time b/c he wanted to see why his mom did it. I just dont want kenz to ever think that. I have gone to al anon meetings and i didnt really get anything from them. I understand it is a disease, but i found needles in my bathroom and he has got high in my house when he promised that he wouldnt. I just cant trust him. And i dont believe he is completly clean...i believe he is on methadone, but from what i have researched it is almost the same thing. I told him that we could meet for dinner or at a park b4 it gets cold. He always refuses and just wants to come here. He knows if he gets here its hard for me to say No to him. I have never took him for child support, but now he is threatning to take me to court to get custody!! YEA RIGHT....i am scard to tell my bf what is going on...
Melissa amy
....to the moon and back
.
prayers for all involved..
- SLK2007
on Oct. 19, 2007 at 10:21 PM