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How long should it take to "get over" your ex?

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:07 AM
  • 8 Replies

Here's the thing: my husband and I have been separated for over a year now.  He's dating someone else, and has completely moved on.  I haven't.  I still hurt as much today as I did when we first separated.  Is this normal?  Now, understand this man is my first love, and I've loved him for over ten years.  We have two beautiful children together.  How long should it take for this pain to lessen? 

I mean, I've gotten much better at masking the pain so that it seems like I can talk about him and not tear up, and I can see him and not tear up--at least until after he's gone.  So to someone on the outside it might seem like I'm getting better, but I'm not.  I'm still deep in mourning.  I don't laugh, or smile like I used to, unless it's with my kids.  I don't sleep, and now I've lost my appetite.  Any suggestions on what can help me deal with this?  I know I need to let him go, because obviously he's not coming back, but I just don't know how to.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:07 AM
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Replies (1-8):
xpectingmama10
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:18 AM

depends. my 1st bf we were together for a year it took me 6 years to get over him which i might add was recently. and my baby daddy took me 3 days to get over him lol.

xpectingmama10
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:26 AM

just get some hobbies so u dont think of him and go out and have fun enjoy being single :)

miss_yancey
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:29 AM

Sorry to say I don't think you'll ever really get over it cuz you have children and deal with eachother all the time. At least he's there so try to be friends and let it go as much as you can. Good Luck

 

Dawnie-marie
by Dawn on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:16 AM

There is no time limit, it took me seven months to realise my son and I meant nothing to him, and the only important person in his life was him. When i did get over it, it hit me and then I didn't care about him, its just me and my little boys. And everything fell into place a couple of weekends ago when I realised I needed to divorce him. Good luck hun, just remember you deserve better.

jennshart
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:31 AM

It took me at least 3 years to get over my ex.  We were married for 8 and have three kids together but it did get easier once I didn't have to see him anymore.  I read somewhere that it takes about half as long as you were together but I'm not sure that's true.  I still miss the good times we had together and still get upset once in awhile but not as much as I used to.  I think it depends on the circumstances and how bitter the divorce is. 

tyfry7496
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:57 AM

 Took me 2 years to get over my exbf and there are still days that it hurts bad. We are friends, but when you are in love with someone, the pain doesn't completely go away. You learn how to control and deal with it but it is still there.  Everyone has a different time frame to get over a relationship, some get over it right away, some take longer. Also, just because your ex is with someone else, doesn't mean he isn't mourning the loss of your relationship. He could be. I think men just deal with it differently.

Kissybratzmom
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:23 AM

Beings he is your first love, and your children's father, you may never completely get over him. He's been a big part of your life. I have never 100% gotten over my first love. I still love him, but I'm not IN love with him. He was a huge part of mine and my daughters life for 2 years. I hate to admit it, but I still have my days when I think about him and wish things would have been different, and it's been  9 years.

There is no time frame. Your heart will let you know when it's healed enough to move on..

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 11:33 AM
Awh... I can't rly answer too much because my ex was never rly the love of my life, and he ended up being a jerk so I got mad to get over. But, it took me forever to get over the abuse and abandonment. I'm still not the same and its been 13 yrs, but those are "issues" not heartbreak.
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