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is there ever a middle ground for parenting?!

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:56 PM
  • 8 Replies

I'm a single mom- DS's bio-dad isnt involved at all.

The other day, DS was getting his cereal, and my mom said that i put too much responsibility on him... He's been getting cereal since he was 3, and at 4 (5 in Oct), he knows how to do it without spilling... 75% of the reason that she's truly mad is b/c her DD (who turned 5 in Aug), still cannot pour anything without spilling it.... she said that "at 5, its understandable.. but not now"-- for getting his own breakfast-- something that he's been doing for over a year now.

So I asked my dad- what he thought, too much responsibility on DS? He says that I'm too strict. I expect my son to listen, and if he doesnt, he gets in trouble... About a week ago, DS was playing around with the fridge open (a pet peeve)- trying to figure out what to drink. we only had milk or water, but he was lingering... I took him away from it, he started throwing a fit, DEMANDING water. I refused to give it to him-- I think thats where my dad's getting his "too strict" thing... I gave DS water, after he calmed down, and politely asked, "May I have some water, please?" (for the record- my dad still choses out my 12 year old bro's clothes, gets his food when he's home, gets everything prepared for when bro takes a shower... Bro will be 13 in October, as well)

I get "bashed" for my parenting by my mom at least 4 times a week... and at least once a week by my dad... i can deal with it, since i HAVE to live here.. but is there really a middle ground? between responsibility, being strict and being a "good" mom?

21 year old single mom of a 4 year old boy. Not sure exactly what kind of mom I am, but I get a chance to better myself everyday. My biggest goal for 2010 is to break out of my shell.

~~~ I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:56 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 1:03 PM

 You will never make every one happy with your choices. Sounds to me like you are raising a responsible child and there is nothing wrong with that at all!

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 1:06 PM

 I think you are doing great. You will have a respectful and independent child and there is nothing wrong with that. BTW, I still get my 14 yr olds things ready for a shower, that way I know he is clean and not just standing under the water fooling around.  For important things, I pick out his clothes too..I want to make sure he matches. But otherwise, my son was getting his own cereal at 4 too. As single parents, our kids tend to grow up a little faster out of necessity. Keep up what you are doing, your son will be great.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:34 PM

You are doing great! I wouldn't worry what others think! Talk to your parents and let them know how their "bashing" makes you feel!

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:37 PM

It is your child, not theirs and if you want to raise a responsible self-sufficient one, you are well on your way!!

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:19 PM

 I dont think you are being too strict or expecting too much of your son. I think your parents should back off honestly, just because they parent a certain way doenst me its the golden rule for parenting.  Its good to teach them to be independent.

by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:10 PM
From what I know of your moms parenting, I'd still just do it your way. Just listen to keep peace then do you.
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by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:27 PM

I think you are doing a great job! My son is very independent as well. I have been a single parent since before he was a year old. He is 7 now. He has taken so much on himself (only guy in the house). I don't think your too strict at all. .. Keep doing what you do =)

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 11:05 PM

just let them talk. let it go in one ear and out the other. my mom does it and i just say yea and don't really listen to her. she says i hate my son and only love my daughter. whatever!! just cuz i don't baby him like she does hes not a baby he is 5 yrs old. i really dont "  baby"   my almost 3 yr old daughter either unless shes hurt.

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