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Dating Question

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:57 AM
  • 15 Replies

So this is kind of a dumb question but really I think I must be doing it wrong with dating... How do you have a man chase, what's the "rules" on dating like how many times should you be taken out? What's the fine line to say what are we now? I mean I am so confused right now and have been thru too many bad realtionships that I need to and want to know your opinions. If he's not taking you out anymore and asking to cook for you and you sleep with him WTH does that mean. A guy once told me I'm doing me for now? HUH... Doing you what does that mean. Someone says I'm just not in the right frame of mind? HUH... I mean hell what do these things mean to you ladies... UHG

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mmtosam06
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:19 AM

 Hmmm the one telling you he is doing you for now isnt ready for a relationship he just wants a f buddy & the last one im not in teh right frame of mind WTF he knew what he was getting into also not ready to settle/commit to a relationship

mommyinthe303
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:21 AM

This is all so new to me... LOL Thanks mmtosam06... So when he says he's doing him he's just basically doing him what he wants with no commitments... Right?

EJs_Mama2k10
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:23 AM

check out the first book by Steve Harvey..it was really helpful..Mainly i'd say no sex until he's invested some time getting to know you, taking you out, etc.  youmay want to try a dating site like match or eharmony..or try going to certain places in your city..like museuams, music concerts, join groups that interest you like a local softball team, volunteer group, etc. you meet people that way and it's not always in a club or bar scene where most dues go to sloely drink and pick up women for sex escapades. even if you meet a woman in the group you join, she may have some single male friends, sons, cousins, etc she may want to hook you up with once you get to know her. u never know..

I'm a bit old fashioned. i still like for a man to call me, take me out, open doors, pull out chairs etc. i don't like that men often rather text than call. i still like to be reached via phone not solely through text messages or email. Since I've been single i often have trouble finding a baby-sitter for dates..i sometimes try to schedule lunch or dinner dates during the week..my son's day care is open to midnight and i can always feel safe leaving him there while i go out to meet someone..

 

Good luck!

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:26 AM
Trust ur instincts. Don't make excuses to yourself, for example "I been talkin to him for a month, its ok to sleep w him" ( when he hasn't been takin u out consistantly) or "its the third date, I can sleep w him" (when u only met hi a few weeks ago) I used to do this... And in this day and age, we shld be able to... But its better not to. I finally met a guy and made him wine and dine me, takin me out multiple times a week for two months, THEN slept w him, and he girlfriended me within the week. If the guy pressures you for sex and u want more, run. If you want a relationship n a guy says "I'm doin me rt now", run.

There's nothin wrong w a bootie call but only if that's what YOU are down for too.
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mmtosam06
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:32 AM

 yep pretty much he is just looking out for himself your welcome

Quoting mommyinthe303:

This is all so new to me... LOL Thanks mmtosam06... So when he says he's doing him he's just basically doing him what he wants with no commitments... Right?

 

 stephanie/cloth diapering/full term bfing/extended harnessing mama

Join us on 20 Something Moms - - Group Mod



 

mommyinthe303
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:32 AM

EJs_mamma2k10 wow that is some great things. I've read that book but I just wanted to hear from you ladies. I just don't know how to back up this relationship that I'm in now. It's a tough situation. But I am going to re read that book. Thanks... :)

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:33 AM
Right.

Quoting mommyinthe303:

This is all so new to me... LOL Thanks mmtosam06... So when he says he's doing him he's just basically doing him what he wants with no commitments... Right?

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mommyinthe303
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:34 AM

I may need to contact you would that be ok? I feel so lost with all this dating stuff. Thanks...

Quoting faerie75:

Trust ur instincts. Don't make excuses to yourself, for example "I been talkin to him for a month, its ok to sleep w him" ( when he hasn't been takin u out consistantly) or "its the third date, I can sleep w him" (when u only met hi a few weeks ago) I used to do this... And in this day and age, we shld be able to... But its better not to. I finally met a guy and made him wine and dine me, takin me out multiple times a week for two months, THEN slept w him, and he girlfriended me within the week. If the guy pressures you for sex and u want more, run. If you want a relationship n a guy says "I'm doin me rt now", run.

There's nothin wrong w a bootie call but only if that's what YOU are down for too.


faerie75
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:37 AM
Oh, another thing... Don't allow yourself to get drawn into sexual talk early on. Smile and change the subj. A gentleman will "get it". A guy who wants the pussy will push it.
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mommyinthe303
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:40 AM

WOW GREAT ADVICE TODAY. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

Quoting faerie75:

Oh, another thing... Don't allow yourself to get drawn into sexual talk early on. Smile and change the subj. A gentleman will "get it". A guy who wants the pussy will push it.


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