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Dating with a baby

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:42 AM
  • 10 Replies

I love my son!! but i aso often wish for the friendship/companion ship of a man. I met someone when my son was 3 months and we dated for two months and all of sudden he told me he couldnt do it anymore. I dont really know where to meet guys. between work and taking care of my son I don't get out much. I go to church regularly but i attend a small church and there aren't any men my age that are single. I hang out with my girlfriends, but most of them are married with children.  the ones that are single i are still doing the club scene and i'm tired of that. whats a new mama to do...

i have met some men from dating website or just out and about. so many of them are all about first dates being at their palce or mine. No not happening..Do people even really still date anymore..oh the other thing is i seem to get hit on by much older men..say 50+. I'm only 30 and just can't see myself going there. dont want to date my dad. What's a new mam to do? Any advice?

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:42 AM
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by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:10 PM
I would say learn to enjoy being single. Fill your life w things you like. Find a hobby (hiking, biking, anything rly) and go from there.

I looked for male companionship for years but it alluded me. Finally I said fuck it, I'm just gna enjoy myself. I had fun for a few years and found a bf when I wasn't looking for one.

Idk if you are doing this, but don't look for a "father figure" in a mate for your kid. If it happens, it happens but don't look for it. Cultivate a male role model in a friend or family member if the bio dad aint around.
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:13 PM

im 4 months pregnant and ive been dating for the past 2 months of my pregnancy and now have a supportive boyfriend out of it.  i found my boyfriend on i know its embarrassing but its a great way to shop for the right kind of man and be up front with them.  tell them your son is #1 and any man who can take that with a grain of salt and step up to the plate is on the right track.  the most important thing to remember while dating is you dont NEED a man, youd simply like one.  go into it with that nonchalance and youll achieve a better dating life. good luck!

by Group Admin on Dec. 9, 2010 at 12:15 PM

 I had the same problem when I was trying to date.  It was so frustrating at times.  One other frustrating one was, the guys my age mostly wanted kids of their own and not to be a step-dad.  I was done having babies so that didn't go over well.  They also didn't understand the challenge of having a child.

When dating online (or maybe just in general) you need to know what you want and stick to that.  You seem to already know.  It takes time to find the perfect one, but he will be well worth the wait.

Don't get discouraged, just hang in there.  You can try to take some classes at the local rec center or something to meet more people.  I volunteered and helped out where I could.  It not only helped me meet people, but it helped me keep my mind off of what I didn't have in my life, keeping me focused on what I did have.

Hang in there!  There is a MR right for you out there.  You just haven't found him yet.

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 3:06 PM

 have fun and don't worry about a man. in joy Ur self,haven fun.. just remember a man does not make u..u make,s ur life . don't settle for any old body..if u wont a bootie call have it if not don't.and yes pp still date .make sure u tell the "guy" u just wont to date .

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 6:14 PM

I felt the same way for awhile, but when I least expected it I ran into my SO. He was so worth the wait. He takes me on dates and enjoy spending time with me and my dd. We have been together almost two years.

by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:37 AM

the same happens to me, sometimes I feel very lonely and having the support of a man sounds like a good idea, but so far haven't had any luck, i tried the dating sites too, and I was "dating" a cute guy but he doesnt want anything serious, plus his ex is pregnant so sometimes when we were at movies or dinner she called him and he had to go, so I just quit on dating for a time, now im working a night shift and I cant find a time for dating when Im taking care of my dd rduring the say, so, im goint to relax with that, and maybe wait a couple of months to see if my luck changes LOL..and I dont know why but the same here I use to get hit by much much older men..scary..

by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 11:34 AM

Thanks. I do enjoy single and I do lots of things i love like volunteer work, very active in my church, etc. Trust i'm not looking for a father son has a handful of male role models already in my step-dad, uncles, cousins, and men at my church that treat my son like their own. I'm just saying i would like a nice date with a male companion from time to time. i do all my funthings as a single woman and I am always at a playdate, park, parade, museum, etc with my son.  guess i will stop looking and get used to being me and mom.

by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 11:39 AM

Thanks for the info..i defintely got the whole i dont need a companion thing..i just want to go on a nice date with a male companion..i'm an only child and can defintely show myself a good time. i papmerp myself with spa visits, movies and dinner. just want a compnion sometimes besides myself, my son and my girlfriends.  I love going to movies and when my son was first  born i sitll wanted to see new tip wasto go to the local drive-in. that way if he cried it would only be a distrubance to me in my car and not the entire movie he slept in the car mostly anyway..just a tip for movie lovers with yougn babies that is if you have drive-ins in your city.


Congrats on your pregnancy and IO wish you the best..may check out plenty offish

by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 11:42 AM

oh Krizz..thanks for the advice but my booty call days are over..too much danger in that...

by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 11:47 AM

Thanks for the advice ladies!! i guess it's also the winter weather getting to me..this is snuggle'm usually more active but in winter i do not do as much becuase i hate going out into the cold..this is the first time this year i'm actually +slowing down..this year along my son and i have been to Albama 3 times, New york, new jersey, DC. Savannah. we;ve been to carnivals, Orlando,  zoos, hot air balloon rides, playdates, etc  Trust i love to live my life and have fun..i'm just a hermit in the winter...

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