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sorta a spin off post

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:21 PM
  • 6 Replies

so the other post got me to thinking.

we all have problems and troubles.

has there ever been a  point in your journey as a single mom when you had to just suck it up and realize that it was all up to you?  was there ever a point where you knew you had to fight back or the world was gonna get the better of you?

what did you do?  did life get better in the sense that you felt like you could do this after you started to fight back?

for me personally:  i had two moments.  the first was when my son was about 11 months old.  I made too much money to qualify for assistance, but not enough to survive.  so I married my ex husband.  i felt like at the time i was making the best choice possible for me and my son.  turns out, i wasn't.

the second time was last year when my son got sick, and i realized that this was totally on me- 365/24/7 without a break ever.  it was a huge wake up call for me.  and life has been much much better since i came to realization.

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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:21 PM
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:26 PM

As soon as I found out my ex moved out of state it hit me like a ton of bricks "this is all on me."  I have no family here and at the time I didn't have any friends either.    I decided then that you know what, it's on me, oh well, that's just the way it is.   So I guess you could say that's when I sucked it up and just started dealing with it.   If I fell apart, what good would that do?  I have no one to pick me up but me, my boys have no one else to take care of them so I can't fall apart.  It's all on me, oh well.  At least I have my boys because the alternative would seriously suck!

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:34 PM

No i still fall apart all the time, lol.  I'll get there though.  But i do realize its all on me.  Have for a while, no big moment though.

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:41 PM

my mother and sister and i were very close growing up. i had a child at 34, so up until then i took care of my mother and sister financially, emotionally, you name it - i was the go to person. when i got pregnant, my mother was actually living with me in my one bedroom apt. but when i told them i was pregnant - my mother said "finally" in the nastiest tone i ever heard and walked out the room. my sister started crying and said i have never been there for her. and they both stopped speaking to me (imagine someone in your house not speaking to you when you are supposed to be experiencing the best thing in your life). at that moment, something clicked in my head and i saw how selfish and irresponsible they were and how they would drain me dry if i let them. i decided at that point, i would not seek them out. whatever relationship we had was on them. i bought my house, left my mom up to her own devices, and went through my entire pregnancy by myself. a month before i gave birth, they came to their senses, but by then the die was cast.

from the day my DD was born, my mother seems to be a whole differnt person. my sister goes back in forth.  i have friends that are more supportive than her, and these are the people i've surrounded my daughter around. i haven't tried to exclude her, but i'm not playing her emotional games anymore. so now when she drops out of sight, i let her. but when my DD thinks of her aunties, she's thinking of my sorors and friends, not her blood aunt.

by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:46 PM
I always had a job since I was single. The times that remind me that I'm screwed and alone is when I have car trouble. I don't have money to fix it and no one cares to come help me.
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:12 PM

 i knew my ex would be of no help, but he set that feeling in concrete when i called him upset about my DD needed oral surgery, his response was "your a single mom, things like that are not my problem"  life has gotten the better of me, while being a single mom,  but i always come out stronger.

by Dawn on Dec. 10, 2010 at 6:30 AM

when I got pregnant with the baby i'm carrying. i realised that my ex was a loser and didn't want to be a parent. I got stronger

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