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Any encouragement you can give would be great

Posted by on Oct. 28, 2007 at 6:30 PM
  • 2 Replies
I have been a single mom for three years. Right after I divorced their father I met a man that I have been dating ever since. He just moved in this last January. Now We have decided that it is not working out. He is only three years older then me but has three grown children and one grandchild. I have  6 and 9 year old children.
He wants to be able to pursue HIS dreams. He not into the "family" thing. He's done that. We do love each other very much but are adult enough to know that his moving out and possibly not seeing each other is what is best for us and my children. It hurts but i know I will be o.k.
My question is this.......How long does it take to feel good or do you ever feel o.k. being a single mom. I don't count on any man for any finacial support so I'm not afraid of that. I have always longed for emotional intimacy. I don't know what to do with myself. I work and have a few friends but it feels so awkward being alone. I don't like it. Does it get easier?
by on Oct. 28, 2007 at 6:30 PM
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by on Oct. 28, 2007 at 6:59 PM
I have been single for about 5 years now. For me, I loved being alone from day one.  I have had dates here and there but I am not ready for a commitment and do not even tell my children when I have a date. Yes, I do get lonely sometimes and yearn for someone to talk to about the "everythings" but in the whole, I am content to be alone.

My opinion is: You need to learn to be ok with being alone so that when Mr Right comes along, you will be with him because you "want" to be...not because you "need" to be.
I think you should give yourself at least 6 moths to settle in and use the time to figure out what it is you want in life as well as in a relationship.

It's not just you  that you need to have to think of your children and what is best for them. I think you should focus 100% on them right now especially after your break up. Did your kids like this man? If so, they could be going through the same emotions as they did in the divorce. Someone they love and care about leaving their daily lives is emotionally hard on children.
Not all relationships work out, do you want them to see you in relationship after relationship?
by on Oct. 28, 2007 at 8:58 PM
Thank you for replyig to my plea for help. I am planning on focusing on my children. They are terrific. They are the reason that I ask him to move out. He didn't spend time with them and the bond was not there. My intuitions are usally right. When I see my kids backing off I see it as a sign of them protecting themselves. i took a stand to protect them. They deserve so much more. We all need time to heal. It is very hard. This is very new. He hasn't left the house yet. He will when he finds a place this week. It's a little uncomfortable. I have not told my kids yet. But my daughter was glad to hear that I wasn't going to marry him!
That's a sign if I ever saw one.
Thanks again!

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