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So about dating again....

Posted by on Oct. 28, 2007 at 6:47 PM
  • 2 Replies
So... my divorce was final in June, and I was dating someone for nearly a year while my divorce was ongoing and thought he was a nice guy. But it seemed as soon as the ink was put to paper and the divorce was finalized he warped into this totally different person. He started going through my phone, my laptop, wanting me to constantly tell him who I was talking to, where I was going, and then he seemed to get more abrasive and hard on my son. Snapping at him, looking at him sometimes like he was disgusted when he would do something that he didn't agree with. Needless to say we are no longer together, and its been five months since all this, but now there is a new guy. Far younger then myself, but mature in his way of acting and behaving, but I don't know if I can handle the stress of possible drama. Granted nothing indicates that he would act the same as the last one but...I don't want my son subjected to another male who turns out to be a jerk. Its one thing to hurt me, but hurting my son is a whole other issue. Do I date again? Or just have like four cats and call it a day?
by on Oct. 28, 2007 at 6:47 PM
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Singlemomks
by on Oct. 28, 2007 at 8:05 PM
I feel your pain, momma!  It is difficult when our difficult, bad relationships affect our kids.  I for one, am taking it very slow the next time.  I will not bring a new man into my girls lives without feeling that things are progressing.  I just don't want them to have to deal with a bad guy - which seems to be what I find.  In the meantime, I am spending a lot of my time (at least when I am not working or taking care of my kids- does that leave much time - lol), evaluating the issues I have in relationships and my part in the failing of these relationships.  I really don't think I can have a successful relationship in the future if I keep following the same patterns. 

njoynlife
by on Oct. 28, 2007 at 9:03 PM
I swear this post got an instant rise out of me.  I had "one of  those men" in my life too.  While I do not have an answer for you,  I can say that we have both learned the lesson.  I think we all go into that first relationship after our divorce oblivious to the fact that a man would act anyway but normal and fatherly to our children.  Most of us have no clue how wicked they can become because they aren't their own flesh and blood.  But hey, now we know and you are right, It is frightening.  Forever now, things will be different.  We are stronger for our children, playing both mother and father at the same time.  No one dares mess with my children.  Everyone who knows me, knows better.  If you learn a magic trick, email me.  I am curious as to where this post will go and will be watching.

Blessings to you and yours,
Cherie

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