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A loveless marriage

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:00 AM
  • 6 Replies

 I feel so bad for my friend. He is stuck in a completely loveless marriage. It is super sad b/c he is one of my really good friends and he wants to keep his "family" together but he's miserable. She has told him that if he ever left her that she would take the kids and go to Mexico and he would never see them again. She doesn't let him have any female friends, she is barely ok with his female relatives thinks everyone is out for him. He has to sneak around and only talk to me at work. One day me and his sister ended up in the same group together *my friends son took his sister out on a date she is 15* She sat there and texted and told her everything that was going on what I was doing etc I was like OK kinda messed up. My friends wife told her to be home "whenever" ok a 15 yr old does not get a "whenever" curfew ESPECIALLY when they have never met the boy before. It was a damn good thing I was there and he told his wife that (which started a huge fight) I don't know what to do for him we always talked when we were younger saying *I can't be in a marriage like your parents were completely loveless and only there for the kids don't they realize we aren't stupid* Now he is in it. I can see why b/c he doesn't want her to disappear to mexico with the kids. I feel completely helpless as my friend suffers but its his choice to do it. Have any of yall seen this where its "staying for the kids" does it ever get easier to watch your friends just be miserable?

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:00 AM
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Replies (1-6):
Kissybratzmom
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:34 AM

He's not stuck. He can leave whenever he wants. Many people stay in miserable marriages "for the children" I happen to think that is a bad reason. Children learn what they see. If I were him, I would talk to a lawyer and see what he can do since she has threatened to run with the kids to mexico. If I were him,  I would get all my ducks in a row before telling her I was leaving her.  Does she even have the money, or the means to do do?

MamaFLgurl
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:35 AM

 That's terrible. Why do good guys end up with crazy bitches?!? HE can go to a lawyer and find out ALL his rights and what he can do to keep her in the states. I mean there's HAS to be something he can do. He needs to record and document everything she says and does.

I do NOT believe in staying just for the kids, because in the end it's alot more unhealthy for everyone.

jeepingirrl
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:38 AM

 I do not think staying for the kids ever works out. My ex and I used to fight a lot. Now that we are not together we get along great. I think the kids would rather see us like that than living together and fighting.

acastle2
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:46 AM

 I don't believe in "staying for the kids" otherwise I would still be married "for my son". If he had the money I am sure he would but he works she don't he works nights to where she only has to take care of the kids a short period of time maybe 3-4 hrs until they get to sleep. When he gets home he takes care of them cooks cleans does everything. I told him I would help him anyway I could even if its just a place to stay and me help watch the kids till he gets on his feet. She could make it to Mexico that's where she is from so it would take one call and they would have her and the kids down therein a short time. I remind him about how he knew his parents were "just for the kids" and everything. It just breaks my heart completely to see this esp with the threat of her taking the kids. She disappeared to mexico when pregnant and didn't come back for MONTHS all b/c she found out he hung out with me while he was back visiting (he was living in AZ at the time) I felt bad and knew then that it wasn't gonna be a good thing for him *the kid yes her no*

Kissybratzmom
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:55 AM

Does he have any family that could help him out. I'm not 100% sure about this but, he could call the court house, they may know more. He could pack up the kids and leave while she is gone and file for a temporary custody order at the court house. That would give him custody of the kids until they go to court and get it settled there. This way she just can't take off with them.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:24 PM

 its his own problem and he needs to deal with it.

 
        
         

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