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A desicion of a lifetime.....

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:39 PM
  • 20 Replies

I realllllllyyyyy need support from my cafemom friends because I'm going through one of thee hardest things I've ever had to go through preparing to be a Mom. Here's my story.....

 

I'm 10wks pregnant. My baby's father is my ex that I was with for 8mths before finding out about this baby. We tried multiple times to make things try and work for the sake of the baby, but right now, things just arent working out. Last night was a huge argument for us. And I've had to make the choice that I'm going to be a single mom. Hence, why I joined this group.

He had been super rude to me all day, disrespecting me, using attitude, etc. I called him around 9pm or so, and we started arguing. I finally told him he'll be paying child support and hung up the phone. He then tried to call me back at ONE IN THE MORNING, when I was in a deep sleep, just to continue the argument. I hung up the phone and didn't answer when he  called back. This morning he tried calling again, and I didn't answer either.

Oh, I forgot to mention the voicemail he left me last night saying that if this is the way things are going to be, he's going to pretend "this isn't his child." Oh yeah, you best believe I saved it.

I'm so scared to do this alone.....help! any advice?

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Rwive
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 1:16 PM

 Well man tend to chicken out specially cause of what the friends say about having kids, if is not working out, then stop it, and if he doesnt want to be responsible for now, then start the process of Child support and stuff. I am sorry you are going thru this, been a single parent is not so bad, if anything it can be a little easier than having a thrid person in the home doing things worse and stressing, you dont want that, is not worth it. I say just leave him alone, dont answer his calls, at least for some time, let him think about it on his own, without any pressure, at the end I doubt you would liek someone to stay with you cause he has to, not cause he wants to. right?

Good luick!

josiahmom
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 1:58 PM

You can do it. Just be the best mom and if he doesnt want to be envolved oh well. Just make him pay up.

Mia1983
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:01 PM

 Stop arguing with him.  If you can't at any point have a civil discussion, then don't talk to him anymore than absolutely necessary.  Don't egg him on by threatening to file for c/s.  When that time comes, just do it (it isn't optional like he may try to make you think it is).  And don't entertain him when he makes insinuations about the baby not being his. 

If you are going to move on and distance yourself from this relationship, do that.  Prepare for your baby.  Take care of things you need to take care of.  Figure out what you want to do.  But don't continue to engage him in this unhealthy way.  You won't gain anything from it.

single_and_preg
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:05 PM

You can do it....i was also so scared too, i had to go to therapy and they put me on meds while i was pregnant, because i was an emotional wreck and didnt have any support at all.

LancesMom
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:09 PM

You don't need someone like that in your life! You can do this! Just take things one day at a time!

aamommy2011
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:11 PM

it'll be hard, and you'll have times where you wish it never happened, but just remember you're gonna have a little bundle of joy to love you unconditionally. we all have our story why we're single. just think of the upside, no one else to fight with on how to raise your child.

just do what you can to give your child and yourself the best life that you can.

anetac8105
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:16 PM

I always believed that everythng is for a reason, if its bad now it may get worse later and dont stay with a jerk that dosnt know how to treat you.  You need to be healthy and strong for that child you are carying inside of you.  When life gives you lemons squize lemonade!!!!!

You can get all kinds of help, Look for work at home opportunity, stay home with baby and work, you can get food stamps and public aid.  It wont be easy, diapers and SKY HIGH!!!!,  but trust me sometimes when you will look at your child it will be worth all the tears!!!!!!!!

AMsMommy212
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:23 PM

 Very well said, I absolutely agree.. you can't MAKE him be anything he doesn't want to be.. so don't stress yourself out over what he's doing (or not doing). Concentrate on you and that little peanut, ad don't be afraid.. it's not 'easy' but it's amazing being a mom (single or not).

Quoting Mia1983:

 Stop arguing with him.  If you can't at any point have a civil discussion, then don't talk to him anymore than absolutely necessary.  Don't egg him on by threatening to file for c/s.  When that time comes, just do it (it isn't optional like he may try to make you think it is).  And don't entertain him when he makes insinuations about the baby not being his. 

If you are going to move on and distance yourself from this relationship, do that.  Prepare for your baby.  Take care of things you need to take care of.  Figure out what you want to do.  But don't continue to engage him in this unhealthy way.  You won't gain anything from it.

 

ms.sophsmom
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:35 PM
Well it will be hard but if he is gonna back out you have no choice but to proceed alone.. He may come back and he may not. But just keep on truckin and things will be ok. Good luck lady.. You may even start dating a man who is loving and supportive unlike ex- don't give up. U can have it all still
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MIMIBRIE
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 3:34 PM

 Oh man I could have written this post myself. Its like he calls to purposely piss me off some days and some days I dont hear from him at all. I have already decided that I am in this alone as you have. Reality is whether or not he will be around you are still going to need support and not someone that brings you down. I dont know why guys think the way they do and say the things they say. Its like they could care less who they hurt.  Just know that it is possible to do it alone! You'd be suprised at what you can do on your own when you have no other choice. The way I see it is he doesnt have to be around while you are pregnant. He does however have to be there when the baby is born both physically and financially.

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