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Has anyone had to ask the court to relocate? If so what do they ask or need to know?

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:43 PM
  • 11 Replies

I want to move to Vegas or Atlanta. I have been considering this since 2007...It just never happened. Half of my family is in Vegas and I don't want to be where I live now. I will have to put in a motion to move and I know he is going to fight it so I need to be prepared. I would do sooooo much better in Vegas with my children. I heard that you have to be very thorough in your request. I just don't understand why I have to ask permission to better my life for me and my children...

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
camommy08
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:47 PM

i have no clue...i assuming that during the case they would want you were youf illed if u havnt I say move than fill from where u moved but cause it differant states im unaware! good luck

UrbanSoccerMom
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:50 PM

You have to basically justify why your move is beneficial (it's really up to the magistrate to decide) is your child's father in agreement? if so, it will pretty much be no issue... if he is not then you have to come up with how his visitation won't be severely impacted and what accomodations you will make for plane tickets, etc (lowering child support, buying the plane tickets).

Do you have a job or going to school in the other city/state? maybe this could be a good argument because of the economy...

Your family does not have priority over his father... what support is his father to him? Does he visit often? If so, it may be tough. If not, you can argue the need for more support from your family (that made it easy for me when I moved, his dad wasn't even visiting or paying support, just wanted to be a butthole)

Unfortunately not liking where you live is enough.

Skipsmom
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 7:58 PM

Well I was thinking if I was already moving out of state but couldn't because I had children then that would be it. I had applied to the Las Vegas police department and took the test I didn't pass so I hope that would work in my favor by telling the court I was already going. My brother can get me a job making almost double what I was making. I am NOT going to lower child support for him because I feel it is already low enough any lower they might as well not waste the money for a stamp! I am currently pregnant with his second child and I just want better. Anywhere is better than where I am economically....

Quoting UrbanSoccerMom:

You have to basically justify why your move is beneficial (it's really up to the magistrate to decide) is your child's father in agreement? if so, it will pretty much be no issue... if he is not then you have to come up with how his visitation won't be severely impacted and what accomodations you will make for plane tickets, etc (lowering child support, buying the plane tickets).

Do you have a job or going to school in the other city/state? maybe this could be a good argument because of the economy...

Your family does not have priority over his father... what support is his father to him? Does he visit often? If so, it may be tough. If not, you can argue the need for more support from your family (that made it easy for me when I moved, his dad wasn't even visiting or paying support, just wanted to be a butthole)

Unfortunately not liking where you live is enough.


UrbanSoccerMom
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 8:39 PM

Again, the issue of visitation will be brought up... you have to be willing to make some compromises to make the magistrate see you aren't just a bitter mom trying to keep the kids away from him. I been through this, so I am just telling you what I was told to consider.

Thankfully even though I moved to another state, the mileage was still considered local so it didnt matter about child support, but I told the magistrate I was willing to pay for the difference in gas by lowering child support, he didnt make that an order in the end because it was just another 40 miles. HOwever,  a friend of mine had to be willing to pay for half the cost of airfare when she moved to Atlanta from Columbus, OH

Quoting Skipsmom:

Well I was thinking if I was already moving out of state but couldn't because I had children then that would be it. I had applied to the Las Vegas police department and took the test I didn't pass so I hope that would work in my favor by telling the court I was already going. My brother can get me a job making almost double what I was making. I am NOT going to lower child support for him because I feel it is already low enough any lower they might as well not waste the money for a stamp! I am currently pregnant with his second child and I just want better. Anywhere is better than where I am economically....

Quoting UrbanSoccerMom:

You have to basically justify why your move is beneficial (it's really up to the magistrate to decide) is your child's father in agreement? if so, it will pretty much be no issue... if he is not then you have to come up with how his visitation won't be severely impacted and what accomodations you will make for plane tickets, etc (lowering child support, buying the plane tickets).

Do you have a job or going to school in the other city/state? maybe this could be a good argument because of the economy...

Your family does not have priority over his father... what support is his father to him? Does he visit often? If so, it may be tough. If not, you can argue the need for more support from your family (that made it easy for me when I moved, his dad wasn't even visiting or paying support, just wanted to be a butthole)

Unfortunately not liking where you live is enough.



jeckellette
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 5:22 PM

IDK momma...good luck though!

acastle2
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 5:36 PM

 I haven't heard of asking for permission to move honestly I just know I have to give a 30 day notice if I plan to move BUT if it has to be sooner its ok as long as he knows. But thats just how mine is set up b/c they shouldn't be able to control where YOU live its ridiculous IMO I would look into it really to see if you have to notify them you are moving or get permission b/c its just not right

ms.sophsmom
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 5:39 PM
I'd say u shld set up housing, school/daycare for the child, a job.. So you cn prove u will be all set when u move. Get as much settled as u cn before the request to move
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DDDaysh
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 12:19 AM

She doesn't have to have permission for herself to move, but you usually do have to have permission if you're moving a child out of a certain area.  Exactly what that "area" is depends on the exact court order.  (I think mine is the whole state, but for other people it's the county or the school district.)  

The law is actually a good one, in general.  If the parents currently have alot of shared parenting time, it wouldn't be fair for one party to just be able to up and move the kid away and take time away from the other parent.  

Alot of things factor into whether or not the move is approved.  Visitation is a big one.  If you're not doing so already, you need to start keeping a custody log.  Basically this means that you get a calendar specifically for child related issues.  You write down on it every time he has visitation.  If he cancels a visitation or cuts his time short, you record that.  If the two of you communicate about child matters in any way, you record that.  This can be a good way of giving the court a baseline of what the current situation is.  

If he's a very involved father, you're going to have a much harder time moving unless you really bend over backward.  Basically you'll have to offer him alot of extra time, like all school holidays and be willing to pay for transportation costs.  If he's not very involved, then you'll have an easier time making your case with the judge.  If he cancels visitation all the time, the judge isn't going to care as much about him getting short changed on parenting time.  It all depends...

Also, have data to back up your case.  If you have a job offer, show that to the judge.  Show him how much you would make there vs how much you're currently making.  If you could live in a better neighborhood there, get the data to compare the crime rates in your current neighborhood with the crime rates there.  Get data on the schools where you are now and the schools there.  Basically, find good hard information about anything that would show that a move would be beneficial for your child.  

Quoting acastle2:

 I haven't heard of asking for permission to move honestly I just know I have to give a 30 day notice if I plan to move BUT if it has to be sooner its ok as long as he knows. But thats just how mine is set up b/c they shouldn't be able to control where YOU live its ridiculous IMO I would look into it really to see if you have to notify them you are moving or get permission b/c its just not right


Skipsmom
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 10:24 AM

Thank you so much. This is really good. I didn't think about doing the comparisons. I couldn't figure out what I could present to the judge because he rarely cancels visitation but he only gets him for 6 hours at a time on Mondays. He wants to do very little but says hes a good father...

Quoting DDDaysh:

She doesn't have to have permission for herself to move, but you usually do have to have permission if you're moving a child out of a certain area.  Exactly what that "area" is depends on the exact court order.  (I think mine is the whole state, but for other people it's the county or the school district.)  

The law is actually a good one, in general.  If the parents currently have alot of shared parenting time, it wouldn't be fair for one party to just be able to up and move the kid away and take time away from the other parent.  

Alot of things factor into whether or not the move is approved.  Visitation is a big one.  If you're not doing so already, you need to start keeping a custody log.  Basically this means that you get a calendar specifically for child related issues.  You write down on it every time he has visitation.  If he cancels a visitation or cuts his time short, you record that.  If the two of you communicate about child matters in any way, you record that.  This can be a good way of giving the court a baseline of what the current situation is.  

If he's a very involved father, you're going to have a much harder time moving unless you really bend over backward.  Basically you'll have to offer him alot of extra time, like all school holidays and be willing to pay for transportation costs.  If he's not very involved, then you'll have an easier time making your case with the judge.  If he cancels visitation all the time, the judge isn't going to care as much about him getting short changed on parenting time.  It all depends...

Also, have data to back up your case.  If you have a job offer, show that to the judge.  Show him how much you would make there vs how much you're currently making.  If you could live in a better neighborhood there, get the data to compare the crime rates in your current neighborhood with the crime rates there.  Get data on the schools where you are now and the schools there.  Basically, find good hard information about anything that would show that a move would be beneficial for your child.  

Quoting acastle2:

 I haven't heard of asking for permission to move honestly I just know I have to give a 30 day notice if I plan to move BUT if it has to be sooner its ok as long as he knows. But thats just how mine is set up b/c they shouldn't be able to control where YOU live its ridiculous IMO I would look into it really to see if you have to notify them you are moving or get permission b/c its just not right



AMsMommy212
by on Feb. 22, 2011 at 10:27 AM

 I always love your advice.. so well thought out and well said :o)

Quoting DDDaysh:


 

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