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my boyfriend just broke up with me

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 2:45 AM
  • 16 Replies

My boyfriend of over 2 years broke up with me. I reeeeally don't want to get into the specifics of what happened... I am very hurt right now.. and I hurt him... the reason I am writing this is because I am so lost. He has been in my sons life for almost 2 years now.. ever since he was about 19-20 months old, now he's 3 1/2. He loves Chris so much. I feel like complete shit. The thing that hurts me the most is the pain I'm going to cause my son. He's going to wonder why Chris isn't calling him anymore, and why he's not coming over on the weekends anymore to see him, why he's not coming to family functions. I am so hurt right now. I feel terrible. Where do I go from here? What am I supposed to tell my son? Has anyone else been in this situation? I am so fucking stupid for letting the two of them become so close. I just always thought me and Chris would end up getting married and he would adopt my son.. I never imagined that anything other than that would happen.... I am so stupid.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 2:45 AM
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 3:29 AM

Awe I am so sorry : (  Its a tough situation for sure. But I am sure both you and your son can pull through it. And your son might not understand for a while but he will be okay. Try to explain things as simple as possible but be as truthful as you can. Example, when DD asks about her bio dad I simply say when he grows up he might want to meet you . Then she is okay with it . She is 4 yrs old. . Good luck !! Its hard being in any situation of breaking up and you have a child bio dad or not . I hope things get better for both you and your son .


by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 3:36 AM

I know exactly how you feel. I was with a man from the time my son was 2 until he was 7. This man raised him because his own father is too much of a loser to step up. The break up wasn't horrible, but we were both hurting. My son was absolutely devestated (as was my family) because we'd been together so long everyone was expecting an engagement announcement. I got lucky...he's such a great guy, he asked my permission to stay in my son's life. It's not nearly what it was, but he'll come to a few of my son's games, has picked him up from school when I needed it, still includes us in his parties, and has even taken my son out randomly. I don't know how I got so lucky in that department. What's hard is knowing that we spent so long functioning as a family and it's not there anymore.

I'm seeing another great guy right now, but let's face it.... He's not what the first one was. 

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:02 AM
he will come back
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 6:54 AM

 don't tell him any thing for a wile ..u have to deal wth it.Ur child mite forget Ur bf..don't get all up sat in front of Ur son..he wont understand ..try to just keep it cool for now..

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:30 AM

I don't have any advice, because I've never been in that situation. ((Hugs))

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:35 AM

Thanks ladies. I am also so lost as far as what to do now... I don't know how to date when I feel ready to do that again.. which i don't now, I have no interest in dating someone else right now at all, I just want Chris back. But when I do date again, what do I do concerning my son? Do I just not let them meet each other? For how long? I don't know what to let them have as far as a relationship.. i was so lucky to have someone who was so good with my son and loved him as much as he loved me and he's now he's gone.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:55 AM

Ugh. this is a big fear of mine. I dont want my kids to get close to someone then it not work out with the guy.

however, this still seems very fresh and if he feels the same way as you then yall may get back together. If not then i believe you and your son will be fine in time. :)

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:31 AM

(hugs) I'm sorry to hear that.. I wish I had some advice for you.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:33 AM

I would just tell your son that you guys aren't friends anymore. I did that with my son. He seemed to understand it. He was about the same age as your son.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:42 AM

First off don't worry too much, YES it hurts yet maybe time will bring Chris back. Can I at least ask, since you didn't go into details. Was there something that upset him, or maybe something happened to cause him to want to decide this? He was with you for 2 yrs, in your son's life so something had to happen. Give him time, he may come back on his own with some time to think. He has been part of your lives for this long, he will see what's missing I'm sure. 

I have been with my SO for about 4 months now, when we first met I didn't let him meet my kids for two weeks. We honestly hit it off at first phone conversation, when we met it was the other part of what was needed to confirm we had something. He ended up meeting my kids, me with his and we all hit it off. I thought oh wow, this is too good to be true! :) An turns out it's starting to look as though it's that, the last month he's not been working so much. Having to sleep, since he's 3rd shift and with his kids end of week. I barely see him, it hurts and my kids notice it. Ask for him sometimes, their 8, 6 and 3. My youngest child, my son doesn't ask or notice. My girls though, they ask for him and his kids. I can't mention his name, without them going on about they want to see him. His kids, we'll be a family and I can't help to want to slap SO for him being around SO MUCH in the start. An it dwindled down to this, when he got busy but he was busy before then making time. To add to wanting him around, I'm expecting  my 4th with him BUT the baby isnt a factor for me with him still. I love him dearly already, and know what he is capable of when he puts himself into something having time.

IF we broke up, and I do date again. Really who would want to date a female with three older, yet little still children and a new born if not infant?? LOL. The fathers of the kids wouldn't be an issue, one would rather me move away from him and just keep contact for the children sake. The other would be sleeping most the time lmao! I would not let him meet my kids, or be around much since my kids are my life not wanting to alter it more then I have for my own want someone to love reasons. Should say WE, since their father soon ex had done his own share of it on his end. 

Hang in there, give him space and some time. He may come back without you having to sad, that long and don't say a thing to your son about him. If you can help it, if he asks for him just tell him he's busy. I tell my kids my SO is sleeping, which is true and or with his kids busy. All true, but they say he can sleep here like he used to. An that kills me, their so smart my girls and know something is off. I say as long as their young, and you do break up it wont be too bad. My son that's 3, he doesn't react to his name but seeing him when they do he gets so excited. 

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