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Anybody tired of being a single mom?

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I need to know how do you cope with being a single mom? I will be basically be a single mom within a few weeks. Sometimes it doesn't bother me but sometimes it does...I didn't make this baby by myself but my child's father is just a mean, spiteful and cold-hearted person. I love my daughter and will die trying to give her the world. But it just gets so lonely sometimes. I know that I'm a good person and deserve happiness. But sometimes I honestly feel like I messed up in life or that I'm being punished by the child's father because he left.

And I just for once would like to know what real love looks and feels like. My father committed suicide when I was 8 months old so I NEVER knew him. Now my mom is beginning to go through a divorce because my step dad just didn't do...ANYTHING!!

I know some of you are probably thinking why would you put yourself in the predicament but come on no one can ever tell how someone will be. People change and their true colors come out.

I mean my mom is a strong person and she says that she is happy to be getting a divorce. She says she feels free and not burdened or held down by his lazy ways of doing..NOTHING. She says she will get married again because she believes in Love.  My mom has gone 18 years of being a parent. But I have a long way to go and I don't know how I can get over being a single mom.

I graduate this semester in May but sometimes I feel like its all for nothing because I got pregnant. I was always focused in school. I was on the Dean's List, received a FULL tuition scholarship, Honor Roll all through grade school. Although please don't get me wrong, I will try my hardest to keep up my grades and find and land a great job. But sometimes it just gets so lonely. I just feel like how did I get my smart educated self into a situation like this? Can anybody relate?

by on Mar. 15, 2011 at 9:12 PM
Replies (11-20):
LittleS88
by on Mar. 15, 2011 at 9:53 PM

I'm pretty much in your exact situation! I graduate from college in May, and my daughter arrives in June. I've always gotten great grades, Dean's List everytime. Getting pregnant by a jerk was definitely not in my best laid plans. I agree with you; sometimes I feel like I'm being punished or I've made this mortal mistake that makes my life and the life of my child harder. But honestly, I try to look at the positives and try not to doubt myself. I am blessed with good family and friends. I will do a great job with my daughter and finding a good job, and you will too! You've been a hard worker in your life, the trick is just to keep it up!

shadowia
by on Mar. 15, 2011 at 10:13 PM

I know how you feel. I am a single mom to a 3yr old girl and there is nights I am very lonely and wonder why me. I just started going back to school to make a better life for my daughter. My husband passed away so I hd no choice but be single and go on for our daughter. In the begining there was times I just lived for her and took one day at a time. It has been two years now and she is getting so independent but still needs mommy very much at times. At night I look at her and smile for what my late husband and I brought into this world but I wish he was here to help cause it is soooo hard sometimes and I have no one to help when I need a break.  You will get through this just take one day at a time.

JanaeMarie
by on Mar. 15, 2011 at 10:19 PM

Thanks you all are so right!! I just feel sometimes that I was smarter then this but you all are right that its not the end of the world.

Jenn8604
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2011 at 10:30 PM
Hugs! Yes, it gets tiring. Id love to have a husband who when I vent about work he sides w me and is all poor baby. Id love to have had one to help me when I was working 32hrs a wk midnights and going to school full time. It was so hard. My mom helped, but sometimes u just need a guy who will let u whine and will baby u. someone who would have taken me out to celebrate when i graduated w my associates. soomeone to help w the day to day burden of an autistic 2 yr old. someone to hold me at night and remind me im not just mom but a woman too.
I survive w out that tho and u will too. were here for u and know what ur going thru.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jenn8604
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2011 at 10:32 PM
and no a guy baby me and siding w me all the time is not a fantasy. my ex did all the time when he was on his bipolar high.

Quoting Jenn8604:

Hugs! Yes, it gets tiring. Id love to have a husband who when I vent about work he sides w me and is all poor baby. Id love to have had one to help me when I was working 32hrs a wk midnights and going to school full time. It was so hard. My mom helped, but sometimes u just need a guy who will let u whine and will baby u. someone who would have taken me out to celebrate when i graduated w my associates. soomeone to help w the day to day burden of an autistic 2 yr old. someone to hold me at night and remind me im not just mom but a woman too.

I survive w out that tho and u will too. were here for u and know what ur going thru.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kathier
by on Mar. 15, 2011 at 10:52 PM

I have been a single mom for my kids for most of their lives.  Some days I would just love to say the hell with it all and leave but then I look at their picture or see them and I then get thankful for them.  It is hard but I know that I can take full credit for what they are growing up to be.  They are mostly wellbehaved, polite and affectionate.  It hasn't been easy these 13 yrs but I wouldn't give any of them up.  Besides, on a less serious note, they are 18 & 16 and before I know it they will be on their own and then it will be just me.  I will be so lost

Belles_Mother
by on Mar. 15, 2011 at 11:00 PM

I totally understand.  I am in my final semester in my PhD program. I have been so focused and when I let my guard down wham I was pregnant.  I feel so stupid sometimes but that is life, lots of learning lessons.  i hope to  meet someone who is a good role model for my daughter.  i do believe in love.  My parents are still happily married after 46 years of marrige.  I want the same.  You will find someone you have your whole life ahead of you.  stay positive

jeckellette
by on Mar. 25, 2011 at 6:20 PM

Nah....I mean, I do get lonely sometimes...but for the most part, I do enjoy being a single mom. Sometimes I could use the help or to get out...but it comes with the territory I guess. I would rather be doing it this way than be stuck with the sperm donor. I can make all the parenting decisions, it's all up to me, no consulting, no agreeing, nothing. We get to do things MY way. and I like it that way. No one can raise my child the way I want her raised like I can.

JanaeMarie
by on Mar. 26, 2011 at 2:09 PM

You are so right...This really made me feel better. I just have to STOP focusing on the fact that he isn't around. It bothers me but ...I now have to focus on finishing school and my brand new baby.  Staying focused and positive will lead me in the right direction. I appreciate your honesty.

Quoting Skipsmom:

WHAT???? Are you kidding me??? You are still in a wonderful position and don't even know it. You GRADUATE in May. I had to drop out of college with 7 more classes to go before I get my Bachelors degree. You are going about this all wrong. You are so busy looking at what you DON'T have instead of concentrating on what you do have. You have an education behind you, so your already ahead of the "single mom" game. You have a mother that can help. Do you know how many women are married and still feel like a single mom. It's better in my opinion that a man shows his face upfront than later on down the line. why put your child through that? You have to look at all the greatness in store for you and the blessings will come. I love being a single mom because I don't have to consult with anyone, or someone getting on my nerves because we have 2 different parenting styles. You have a healthy baby on the way your smart and you can think for yourself so go ahead and be the best single mom you can be!!!


JanaeMarie
by on Mar. 26, 2011 at 2:11 PM

Yup, getting pregnant by some jerk was def NOT in the plans but things happen and as my mom tells me, God doesnt make mistakes! So we have to stay focus and do the best we can for ourselves and our children. Forget the idiot sperm donor/daddy or father. Whatever you want to call them. So glad you understand where I am coming from!!!

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