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my sons sperm donor has filed and appeal and now wants may son to have his last name .. any advise

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:11 PM
  • 21 Replies
ok my and my sons donor was just in court the end of september... they ordered him to pay child support and they also ordered visitations to be at my home under my supervision till september 2008. well i just got papers over the weekend where he is now appealing the order he wants visits in public and for me to be no where around and he wants child support lowed so he can have some EXTRA MONEY. He also now wants my son to have his last name and i dont know how that works i want my son to keep his name the way it is. My sons donor denied that he was the father and threatened me when i was pregnant and hasnt bought anything for this my son and he is now 22 months old. will they make me change his last name ?? and as for the child support i wish i had extra money but by the time i pay my bills and provide for my kids im brokeand he makes about 1,500.00 dollars more than me a month and he doesnt even have that many bills cuz he lives with his grandma rent free and utility free even tho he is now trying to claim he pays the bills but i know for a fact he doesnt. i am so stressed right now and i dont know what to aspect. he is a stranger to my son will they change the visits to be in public ??? 
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Cheisey
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:14 PM
so he donated sperm or you had sex with him?


if you agree with me, or you have sat there thinking, "damn why didn't i say that?", add me, we should be friends!

manders018
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:17 PM
I am not sure what they will make you do but if he is playing an active role in his life what about hyphenating the two last names? My son has his sperm donor's name but I am going to ask for that when I take him to court.
MissMommie84
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:19 PM
WHAT STATE ARE YOU IN? YOU ARE HIS MOTHER AND AS OF RIGHT NOW YOU ARE HIS SOLE PROVIDER...DO YOU HAVE FULL CUSTODY OF YOUR SON...LIKE DID YOU GO PUT I FOR FULL CUSTODY BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T THAT COULD MAKE TROUBLE DOWN THE LINE SOMEWHERE...ANYWAY BACK TO THE ISSUE.

I DOUBT IF THEY WILL LOWER THE PAYMENT, IS HE BEHIND IN SUPPORT BECAUSE IF HE IS THEN THEY WON'T...

AS FOR VISITATION I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT EITHER BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY BAD FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR SON BEING ALONE WITH HIM EXPRESS THEM...YOU HAVE TO BE AROUND YOUR HIS MOTHER!!!!
Cheisey
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:23 PM
i don't understand, i thought sperm donors do not have any rights & cannot ever have any rights to their child.
i mean if the mom wants him to see the child, they can, but legally, they can't fight for visitation or anything, & i have never heard of sperm donors being required to pay child support.
i would think that since you chose to be artificially inseminated, you would be responsible for the child.


if you agree with me, or you have sat there thinking, "damn why didn't i say that?", add me, we should be friends!

darkpoetess
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:26 PM

Quoting Cheisey:

i don't understand, i thought sperm donors do not have any rights & cannot ever have any rights to their child.
i mean if the mom wants him to see the child, they can, but legally, they can't fight for visitation or anything, & i have never heard of sperm donors being required to pay child support.
i would think that since you chose to be artificially inseminated, you would be responsible for the child.


if you agree with me, or you have sat there thinking, "damn why didn't i say that?", add me, we should be friends!


I don't think shes saying she was artifically insemiated.  I think shes using it as a slang. Meaning its easier to say he donated than a dad.  Cause he apparently causing too much greif with her and her family.  I have called my ex a sperm donor before cause he was only there to make our son and he took off and was never seen for many years. 
 
Cheisey
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:28 PM
i called my ex a sperm donor before, but i don't think i'd ask a question on a forum about him filing for visitation & child support stuff & call him that, it confuses people to think that she was artificially inseminated.
deadbeat dad is a better description that wouldn't confuse anyone.


if you agree with me, or you have sat there thinking, "damn why didn't i say that?", add me, we should be friends!

yamamommaof3
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:37 PM
i have soul custody of my son and he has never really been in my sons life he plays this in and out game and he will juz disappear for months im talkin 8 or 9 months and only pop in for a visit or 2 and he has 2 other kids who is he is ordered to get and they havent ssen him in over a year now  and the other he has never seen and dont even know his name 
stardust0509
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 8:45 PM
I think you need to give him more credit than you are. He wants to be a part of his kid's life I see nothing wrong with that as for the last name I don't think you'll have to change it, but let him be a part of your kid's life I don't see anything wrong with him not being a part.

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

   

Cheisey
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 11:38 PM
oh yeah, & i was told it is nearly impossible to change a kid's last name until they are a teenager.


if you agree with me, or you have sat there thinking, "damn why didn't i say that?", add me, we should be friends!

LilliannsMom
by on Nov. 5, 2007 at 11:47 PM
I had this conversation with the attorney for the Office of Child Support Enforcement here, and he told me that generally they will not require you to change his name, unless it is in the childs best interest, and the amount of child support he is required to pay is based on how much he makes a month, not how many bills he has, and as far as visitation, you need to state any and every reason you have for keeping supervised visitations for a while.  If he is just now trying to be in your childs life, you have every right to ask for that, but I know in some states, you have to have quite a bit of evidence, so be sure you can support anything you can accuse.  I hope this doesnt sound rude, I am not trying to do that, this is just what the attorney told me.
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