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Mommy...Student...Employee...Girlfriend...Which hat do I wear today???

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 10:00 PM
  • 10 Replies


 Recently I have been struggling with my "roles". My son's father and I have been together for 2 years and I have always worked, and brought in 1/2 the household income. 3 months ago I quit my F/T job  in order to take better care of our son. Our childcare arrangements had fallen through and I was extremely stressed trying to find sitters, not to mention feeling less than trilled with the care I was finding.  2 months ago I found a P/T job were I am able to bring my son with me and make a decent hourly wage.

   My problems have come with the decision to go to school. I am scheduled to begin nursing school in August but am receiving NO support from my man. He feels I should be working F/T to help support us and not go to school. He sees it as "another bill". I feel it's time better spent to go to school F/T, work P/T, and stay with my son as much as possible. Am I wrong?? My plan is to continue working P/T and use student loans to make up for the lost income. 

   I just having a hard time finding the balance. I love the domestic responsibilities of being a mother. But I also love the personal gratification I get from work/school. How do I know where to draw the lines? Am I being selfish? I think I should also mention that I am 21 years old. My man is 35, and our son is 1 this month. 

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 10:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
way1
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 10:12 PM

I don't think you are being selfish at all..if anything he's been the selfish one and not wanting to take on more responsibility at home so you CAN go back to school.

Speaking from personal experience it is extremely difficult to go to school, work and be a mommy..but it can be done. I did it for many years before I decided what I finally wanted to do and got my degree. I to didn't have any help at home...my ex didn't even want to watch our DD on his days off...(I drove her up to my work 35 miles away to stay with my mom while I worked)...Sometimes I remember being so stressed and cried and was upset and stuff..but now I have a WAY better job...the girls and I are comfortable..and the ex obviously isn't in the picture anymore.

So I say whatever can eventually make your life better, you will find and should find a way to do it. I'm not  going to sugar coat it but you will find a way..even though it will be hard.

reaandiziesmama
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 10:36 PM

IMO going back to school is NEVER a waste of time or money. You are not being selfish. You are being smart hun. It'll be a HARD road but will pay off in the long run. Good luck

Chanel5nyc
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 10:59 PM
Going to school is an investment.
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Mommyto2LilMen
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 11:02 PM

He needs to realize that when you are done with school, you could very well be bringing in a lot more money thus releasing stress on you guys financially.  Good luck hun.

LancesMom
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 12:24 AM
I don't think its selfish, its better to do it now why you can!
animebuddy
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 7:47 AM
Going to school is the best decision you can make. It increases your earning potential.
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tyfry7496
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 10:55 AM
Exactly!!! In the long run, you will be able to help support the family, when you are done with school making great money because you gotvan education. NEVER let someone tell you an education is just one more bill or not worth it, they are wrong!!

Quoting reaandiziesmama:

IMO going back to school is NEVER a waste of time or money. You are not being selfish. You are being smart hun. It'll be a HARD road but will pay off in the long run. Good luck

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josiahmom
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 11:48 AM

You can do it if u have the funds. Good luck.

LifeCafe42
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 12:40 PM
This exactly its going to be hard but it is so worth it

Quoting reaandiziesmama:

IMO going back to school is NEVER a waste of time or money. You are not being selfish. You are being smart hun. It'll be a HARD road but will pay off in the long run. Good luck

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tashia07
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 3:05 PM

They hit the nail on the head! You're education is investment that will only help your family in the long run! Will you have a higher earning potential then him once you finish school.... That seems to be the biggest hang ups of my past relationships, men don't want to see their wife/girlfriend make more money.

Quoting tyfry7496:

Exactly!!! In the long run, you will be able to help support the family, when you are done with school making great money because you gotvan education. NEVER let someone tell you an education is just one more bill or not worth it, they are wrong!!

Quoting reaandiziesmama:

IMO going back to school is NEVER a waste of time or money. You are not being selfish. You are being smart hun. It'll be a HARD road but will pay off in the long run. Good luck


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