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I lost my kids due to my disease! :-( Update!

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:45 AM
  • 49 Replies
So, I do not know where to start here.....I have not been on here in forever because I have been in the fight of all fights with my ex. I have MS. It is totally controlled. I have bad days where I have a limp or my left hand will shake some. But besides that I have the MS controlled through meds with my doctors. I do have a wheel chair and cane, but have not used the wheel chair in over a year. And I only use the cane for long periods of walking.

Well, my ex has always tried to use my MS against me. It is one of the big things that broke us up. After I got the diagnosis and my symptoms got worse he treated me like damaged goods. He just could not accept it at all. When we separated we were amicably getting along for our 3 kids. I guess i was pretty nieve in thinking it was all gonna stay that way! My Ex started giving me a lot of crap whenever he heard or saw that I had any bad days with my MS. I was so used to this, I thought nothing of it, but I know now I should have.

So, we went to court to finalize our divorce and my hell began........My Ex came to court and changed the game plan we had amicably discussed. He went after me for full custody. He presented "evidence" about my health 2 yes ago when my MS was at it's worst before I was on the right meds. He convinced the judge I could go back to that point at any time. I had a full physical clearing me to be safe to be with the kids. But, my Ex and his "expert doc" he presented convinced the judge that could change at any moment jeopardizing my kids safety.

So, I LOST CUSTODY OF MY KIDS DUE TO MY MS! I was given supervised visitation 1 time a week. I am on disability so I had little to no money to fight this. It has been a horrible few months. I spiraled into depression due to desperation to get my kids back. I have been a stay at home mom to my kids and never missed a thing in their lives. Then I was forced out of their lives by a disease that I have control off.

Once I finally got though the depression I came back fighting.....I have been working part time (as much as I can physically) at home doing billing fo a friends company and have put every penny away for my lawyer. I have borrowed and took loans for anyone I could. It took me forever to get the money needed. But, finally I have a new court date in 3 weeks. I am so stressed, but my lawyer is awesome and is confident I will get my kids back. I love my kids more than anything and can not bear the thought of loosing!!! I want full custody, but at this point I will take joint custody or even non supervised visitation more that 1 time a week!

Anyway, this is so painful to even think about or write. I am crying now writing it reliving this experience. But, it feels kinda Good to get it out ! And I am hoping anyone who has gone though a similar experience might be able to help!

Sorry this was so long. Thanks for taking the time to read it!!!!

Lynn


UPDATE!

Thank you girls for the overwhelming support! Am so glad I posted this. I really felt so much more empowered after all your great momma's encouragement. and turned out I needed it for today.....


Today was my weekly visit with my kids. We celebrated my Kearston's birthday which was Wednesday of this week. It was the 1st birthday I have ever not spent with one of my kids. My Kearston has been very quiet and withdrawn with me since everything happened which was not normal for her. We all had a great time, then toward the end when I gave Kearston her presents she broke down in tears and ran into her old bedroom.

After talking to her she confessed to me how upset she was that I was not there with her on her birthday and she opened up about how much she misses me and how mad she was at me that i was not with her anymore. Then she just about broke my heart when she asked why I thought I was too sick to be with her and why I decided that her and brother and sister could not live with me. I asked her why she thought that, she told me that "Daddy told her that Mommy decided she was too sick to have them live with me anymore so mommy made them move in with him." I thought I was gonna puke and cry at the same time, but I held it together. I did not know what to say. Luckily the court appointed supervisor heard and stepped in and told my Kearston that it was not Mommy's decision to not have her kids not live with her and it was an adult thing. Kearston would not let it go at that and insisted on knowing who said I was too sick.

So at that point I brought my other 2 kids in cus I knew they could hear the conversation. I asked them what they knew about things. They both told me their dad had told them the same thing. My oldest said she knew that it was not true though cus she heard her dad say other things about to other people. So, I told the kids that their dad cares about them and was trying to protect them because he was worried about me being to sick to care for them. So he told a judge that and the judge was afraid about the same thing so he decided they could not live with me. But, I told them that I had gone to doctors who say I am not too sick to take care of them and I was going to try to get the judge to understand that too. I told them how much I wanted them with me and and how I would do everything I could forever until I got them to see me more.

It was so emotionally intense and I am wiped out now. And super pissed at my Ex. How could he tell the kids that. But, I am glad it happened like that because I was able to get things out in open with my kids and my Kearston was not distant by the time she left And was more huggy with me than she had been in months. And the count appointed supervisor pulled me aside and told me she wants to testify on my behalf and especially about what she heard tonight. she said I was a great mom and that she thinks I am totally fit to raise my kids. So, that is HUGE since she has been watching me and the kids for months. She has been quiet and kinda stand offish so I did know what she thought about everything. So, hopefully that will help.

When My Ex showed up to get the kids I asked to speak to him privately. I knew it was a bad idea, but I was not thinking straight cus I was seeing red! Calmly i explained what our daughter had said and he instantly got defensive and said, "What did you expect me to tell them. I gotta have a good relationship with them". I said "How bout the truth?That their mom did not decide they could not live with them". To which he said, "You made this happen when you did the things you did in end of our marriage ". then followed it up by saying my kids are better off without me and without seeing their mom slowing deteriorate. He said that he was saving them from that pain and that I was the selfish one for not seeing what was best for them" OMG! I wanted to deck him!!!!!! but, I did not, thank God, I just calmly said, "Well our kids know the truth now. I will save everything else I have to say for court" and I walked away while he started cussing me out and saying crap about me.......I left him to do that and went in to say good bye to my kids.

So, it was quite the night, but I am glad it all came out. when i lost custody i told the kids that people who did not understand my illness decided I could not have them live with me and that I was working to get them back. I said that cus I did not want their relationship with their dad to suffer by knowing he did this. Guess I was too nice cus he did the exact opposite with them. But here is a happy part of the night.... when my daughter opened her gifts (after our big talk) she told me she wanted to leave them in her bedroom for when she gets to live here again! That made my night!

I hope karma hits my EX in the ass soon! I can not even put into words how pissed I am at him now! Grrr....anyway Thanks again for all the support! Sorry the update was so long!
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Kissybratzmom
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:49 AM

I'm so sorry mama :o( I hope you can get your kids back!

Annamariemommy
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:55 AM

Thats just not right I hope u get ur kids back., My mom has MS and its pretty bad  she has to use her cane pretty much all the time she hates the chair but she still takes care of my 1 year old while Im in class mon thru fri.  I cant believe some one would be so evil to use MS against you Im so sorry Praying that everything goes good at the court

02MaMi02
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:55 AM
Good luck!!!!!!
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All4my3kidz
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:00 AM
Quoting Annamariemommy:

Thats just not right I hope u get ur kids back., My mom has MS and its pretty bad  she has to use her cane pretty much all the time she hates the chair but she still takes care of my 1 year old while Im in class mon thru fri.  I cant believe some one would be so evil to use MS against you Im so sorry Praying that everything goes good at the court




I am still in shock and it happened months ago. Our marriage was messy in the end and I will admit I did do some stupid thing and I believe he is being vindictive because of them.
tyfry7496
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:01 AM
Contact the MS Society in your state to see if they can help you. My dad has had MS since he was 21, he is now 60. He lived a normal life until the last 10 years. He know uses a wheelchair but before that he was able to watch my son without issue. I hope you win because what your ex did is just wrong.
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Kaya529
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:13 AM

I am having issues with my mom wanting to take away my parental rights because I have bipolar. I know what your going through and I hope things get better for you.hugs

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:20 AM

Soooo sorry to hear that  ((hugs))

MeeshMom
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:27 AM
I'm praying for you! That is just not right. I wish you luck back in court!
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marybmorrison
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:42 AM
I am soooo sorry to hear that!! I hope the best for you! Using a disease against is just pure evil and it breaks my heart to have to hear about this. Please keep us updated!
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Livin4_AnO
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:46 AM
I couldn't even imagine!! I'm SO sorry hon!! Good luck!!!
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