Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Pregnant single mom dating....

Posted by on Aug. 2, 2011 at 11:39 AM
  • 10 Replies

So I am a divorced mother of two and became pregnant in April from my bf of 1 yr. He decided he didn't want another child after I became pregnant. Anyways, just a couple of weeks ago I re-kindeled an friendship/ romance from high school. We have been talking on the phone and have been out on two dates. It feels wierd because I am pregnant but Logan's father is not in the picture at all. He said abortion or leave so we left. New beau said he never wanted to date a girl with kids but were getting along so well and have so much fun together he was fine with it, but the next time I get pregnant and it's not his it's over. LOL! I agreed.

I am due December 20th: What is your opinion on dating while pregnant??? Should I ask this person to be envolved with Logan (new baby) and be there for his birth??? Should I expect that this person play the role of dad if we become very close and decide to continue into a long term relationship??? Should I treat this relationship differently then if I was just a single mom and not pregnant??? Should I wait to persue the relationship until after Logan is born??? Help a single lady out please!!!

Tiffany, Mommy of Ashlynn Diamond, Ryan Robert & Logan James due 12/20/11

by on Aug. 2, 2011 at 11:39 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Group Admin on Aug. 2, 2011 at 11:58 AM

 I wouldn't expect anything from him.  Let him come to you.  If he is a good man, he will do all the above and not need to be encouraged, but let him do it on his own terms.

As for if you should treat it as a relationship?  Well I would, but maybe keep it on ice until after the baby (not so serious).  It's a tough place to be, but if it was meant to be then it will all work out in the end.

good luck

by on Aug. 2, 2011 at 7:02 PM

 I really think you should wait to get serious until after the baby is born.  I don't think that during pregnancy is a time to be focusing on new romantic interests since the emotions surrounding pregnancy and childbirth are so much in and of themselves, not to mention that you haven't been split from the BD for very long. 

Get you and the baby sorted out first, THEN decide how to procede with the new guy.  If he's genuine, 6 months isn't going to take that away. 

by on Aug. 3, 2011 at 10:28 AM

Thanks ladies for the advice. I was feeling the same way. Not only is pregnancy not a good time to focus on new love, but things will change alot once the baby is here. It will probably be best to get me and the baby in our routine and then work him in to our lives if he is still interested in persuing a relationship. As far as BD, we broke up 5 mos ago and the jerk hasn't called or txt once to see how the baby was doing if he was growing well or anything. I txt him and told him I got the ultrasound did he want pictures and he didn't reply. I'm pretty sure this jerk is out of the picture forever! You would think after a year of loving someone you would have more concern than that. The only reason for the split was the pregnancy we had NO problems before, that's what so frustrating.

by on Aug. 3, 2011 at 10:38 AM
I wouldn't expect anything from him, let him decide how he wants to be involved.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Aug. 3, 2011 at 10:44 AM

I wouldn't date if I was pregnant, I would take that time to focus on yourself and your baby. 

by on Aug. 3, 2011 at 12:30 PM

I'm 9 months 4 wks, soon 3 wks to having a fourth child. With someone, ex bf after my split with now ex dh. He had a mental spaz, I call it unable to be a man to speak to me of his concerns and disconnected himself to me. I broke up with him, he wasn't trying to talk it out. He knew I would, and didn't want to do it odds are knowing I couldn't be with someone who ignored contact

I started to try to date when I was almost 4 months area and it was weird yet nothing too weird. I was still a mother, would be a parent and focus on my children/pregnancy. I just talked to guys, maybe met at most two I thought passed the non creep vibe test lol. By that time, my ex and I had custody arranged so I didn't bring anyone still don't around my three chidlren I have with my ex husband.  An most were told I am not looking for a father for my children I have already, they have one who is active in their lives and am not looking for one for this child I'm carrying. Seeing as her father, t good chance he won't be around sad reality still not signing anyone up. I am a package deal, and to accept me is to accept my children. I actually met my FWB whatever guy, at this time and he said ok you got kids that's fine. He has 2 himself, and he wasn't told I was preg right away on to meeting him. We met on Plenty of fish, as just ME and three children. As we spoke more, I told him so you know I'm pregnant and I say that to just put it out there. Not looking for a babies daddy, or whatever looking for someone for ME that can accept it. 

I am still focused on my children, my mothering and my children are always first. I stopped "trying to date", or looking and its due to I got my things to get organazied more. I am not shutting down dating, but the time being I am not actively looking on alert. If it comes my way, some how I'll be fine with it yet I wouldn't introduce my children to someone a good few months. An with this child, maybe a little different yet I wouldn't make anyone her father since their around. They need to accept it, take it in and see it is what it is. I see nothing wrong with trying to date while preg, as long as you still focus on what matters.... your children, yourself and your life go for it. I have had more then enough, say they accept me with chidren and pregnant telling them that's cool. Yet doesn't make them get the green light to date, their still going to be arms length til I see fit. 

by on Aug. 3, 2011 at 3:30 PM

 Do what you feel comfortable w.  I was in no way, shape or form into the idea of dating while I was pregnant bc I just wasn't feeling it.  IMO I think a pregnant woman can wait until she pops out that baby to date, but eh...that me.  Don't think too far into things w this guy...and definitely do not entertain the idea that he could be the father figure to your soon-to-be baby boy.  Let things go naturally, take your time, and once you give birth, move forward w the new guy.  I also agree to let him come to you if he is indeed a good guy.  Congrats on your baby too BTW!

by Ruby Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 1:26 AM
Personally I don't think pregna t women should date in most cases. Reason being I question the motives of men who date women in vulnerable positions. It is up to the woman herself though, not me.

As far as should dude step into daddy shoes... Hold off. Bio dad ain't around now but he might step up later and that is the real father. And for heavens sake please do not tell the kid that is his real father, or lead him to believe it is. Don't fool yourself into saying "he's too young I will explain when he's older" cuz that is fucked up. The kid should always know the truth in age appropriate terms.
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 1:29 AM
There's a new reality show about pregnant women dating...
I really don't get it. This is the time to concentrate on being pregnant...not to date....seems awkward. Why not just wait until after the baby is here?
by Ruby Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 1:48 AM
Uhh how did this bump?
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)