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4 yrs ago today

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:00 PM
  • 5 Replies

4 yrs ago today i meet my ex. it was crazy night and it hurts that on sunday will be the official day we were dating. it breaks me to think that this yr im single mom he with some crazy girl who pregnant with his 2 second daughter. (my daughter be his 1st of course) i remember that day so well. i worked than went to the local bar. thats where i meet him at that time in life i didnt want a relationship i had been really hurt by this one guy and didnt want to go through that again. but there was something about mike that he got past ALL my walls that night, i opened up to him more than i did than anyone in my life. we spent all weekend together except when i worked that sat morning but that night we meet up at the bar agaion. i wasnt sure if he would come up to me or what. i always thought a guy as good looking as him would like a girl as plain as me. but he came in to the area i always hung out saw me huge smile came up and said hi. that sun we spent all day together.  i had just gotten my phone so i didnt know the number and it died so he gave me his. i txted him nothing i txted him again on mon nothing so i left it at that figured it was a fun weekend and that was that. i was sad cause he was all i can think about and it made my heart flutter and stomach do flip flops well come tues night that year he calls me. come and find out he didnt have txt message on is plan so he didnt get them. but he was at this one club on base and saw a friend of mine there and asked if she was a friend of mine and if he could get my number. well we meet up that night and he was like omg just seeing u made my day sooo much better. as i was leaving after hanging out he asked what are we. i told him i dont know, i know i like u and want to get to know u. he was like ok same here we are dating than. well i figured it was just dating nothing serious well that weekend his frined was like oh so this is your gf that u been dating now for a wk so that when i figured our official bf/gf date was. and now 4 yrs later all that we made done and planned went down the drain cause he wanted to have fun. found a girl who worse than he is with money (so he told his mom "she blows thorugh money worse than i do)

i know im better off without him but i was happy with him. it weird we had our trouble he was selfish at times but at other times he was such a great husband lover and father. i will never understand why he choose all this. what this girl has that made him forget about 3 yrs of love and planning. we had overcame so much and i dont get how we could of been so close to be legally married (we consider ourselves married told all friends we made and what not we were husband and wife) i guess it just one of those thing were youll never know what Gods plan is for you till years later. I love him but Im getting over it all. I realized as much as I care for him I dont think I could ever take him back and have a good work relationship it will crumble after a time from distrust and not letting him in my heart anymore. its sad that this is where my life is, But at the same time i have a lot more going for me right now than i did a yr ago. i have a job(its not the best but i can pay my bills, go out. buy stuff for scarlett and myself without feeling bad) i have money saved. so i know im better off. it just a hard day the next few days i know will be hard esp at bedtime when i no longer have scarlett to play with. But i am happy to say that today wasnt as bad as i thought it was. Maybe im getting over him more and more. maybe it the fact that from how he was acting when we went out there he didnt seem happy. he honstely seemed like he didnt want to leave the hotel. and according to his mom he was constantly looking at me so maybe it that makes me happy knowing where i am getting over him his actions are showing he still cares. or the fact that he has gained a lot of weight in his stomach beer gut!!! i know lame that this is what heping me get over him and what not. or maybe that guy i meet (even though that didnt work) gave me a huge confidence burst. form what u can tell form a car window he thought i was pretty cute. so i dont know what has been getting to this point but i happy i am.

its a lil bittersweet though just thinking about it all but I know God has a plan for me and a has a man out there to make me even happier and a better father. I do pray though that for at least Scarlett sake God brings th ex back in scarlett life. i dont ask for much in child support i ask for 20 a month till we get a court. I get he in another state so she may not get to see him a lot but at least with skype she wont forget his face and what not. Ive stopped trying to get him to call and skype a few months ago. it on him now. If somthing major happens to her yea i call or txt him. but beyond that if he wants to know about scarlett than he call. his mom even stand by that decision and doesnt tell him anything about scarlett if he ask her about scarlett she tells him to call scarlett and ask her. i have my moments were i cry about all that was losted and all we had but those are few and far between lately

sorry this was long i just needed to get it out

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:00 PM
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Replies (1-5):
LancesMom
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:24 PM

Hugs! I hope you can let this go! I know its hard.

camommy08
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 1:58 AM

i feel like im doing a lot better than i though i would of been the really trst will be sun out actual anniversary. i do have a lot of anger how it all went down the game she played but im hoping to bury it all by dec when scarlett half sis is born

animebuddy
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 10:34 AM
((Hugs)) no advice hun.
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josiahmom
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 10:35 AM

im sry and yes he does

RaynMartinsMom
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 10:47 AM
Oh momma hugs. I'm not with my kids father either(2 boys) and yes it hurt but I met someone wonderful and have moved on as will you. We are string for our kids and are capable of mych more than we think just hang in there. My ex lives in another state too so the boys never see him and barely talk to him. He sent me a text the other day saying I miss you. I answered I know u miss the boys so just call them anytime. I don't let him get to me.
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