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Do you have a will, guardianship or trustee for your kids?

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 4:53 AM
  • 11 Replies

As a former life insurance agent in Cali and a single mama, I am wondering what plan you have for your kids in case something happens to you? Most of you probably dont which means the kids would be sent to their "daddy" whether he is good or bad.  something to think about....do you have insurance  to help with expenses later? their food, clothes, car, college, YOUR funeral costs etc.

I have a basic plan but since it is not written down as a legal document it is worthless. My family would fight my ex for my kids but why put them through all that? I think it is time  for all of us mamas to go to the office store and get a basic will and testament paper, fill it out and have it legally notarized ( usually less than 50.00) and then file it at your local hall of records.

Dont be a CAR WASH BY DONATION parent... Do it for them.

by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 4:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KeriAZ
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 5:33 AM

I have things written down on paper but not as a will. My kids are old enough that they can go live on thier own. My son is 18 and my daughter is 16. As soon as i get a job I want to get a life insurance policy to take care of my funeral when i need one. I even have my outfit planned out and my music. I want to be wearing my TRIP pants and a black tshirt that says in white bold letters FUBAR. And the music will be mostly Avenged Sevenfold with a few other songs I like.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 8:01 AM

It doesn't matter what you put on paper.  If dad is legally dad, knows the child etc, the child goes to dad.  You cannot "will" a child.  And it doesn't matter if he's 25k behind in child support, the child is his.  Doing what you are suggesting would not only be a waste of 50 dollars, a waste of time, but would also cause a potential rift between bio-dad and your family.  If something happens to you, your family's ability to maintain a relationship with your children is going to be dependent on maintaining a good relationship the child's dad.

aj23
by Amanda on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:55 AM

A will is never a waste of money. Never. Even if the kids do go to the dad its still important to have your wished wrote down. If a mother wants the kids to go to someone else there is usually a valid reason and if it does come down to a legal battle between family and the father and the will states that they wanted the child to go to family it will carry some weight in court. It may not happen but its much more likely to be taken into consideration if its wrote down.

Quoting krisnkids:

It doesn't matter what you put on paper.  If dad is legally dad, knows the child etc, the child goes to dad.  You cannot "will" a child.  And it doesn't matter if he's 25k behind in child support, the child is his.  Doing what you are suggesting would not only be a waste of 50 dollars, a waste of time, but would also cause a potential rift between bio-dad and your family.  If something happens to you, your family's ability to maintain a relationship with your children is going to be dependent on maintaining a good relationship the child's dad.

 

Mommyto2LilMen
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:05 AM
I haven't done anything, but I am so scared of something happening to me, because I do k ow that if anything happens to me, my ex would not allow my family to be apart of their lives. I do have life insurance, and my brother is the beneficiary on it and he will be sure my kids get it, as well as my retirement.
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aj23
by Amanda on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:10 AM

I do have a will. My son dad is around andI would prefer him not to be raised by his dads family but its not the end of the world if it happens. I know that my mom would still be able to see him and that would counter act some of the ignorance in that family.
My son has a trust fund for school so that is taken care of. My sons godfather gifted it and if something happens to me he will control it. There is money set aside for day to day living expenses that will be controlled by who he lives with and all other assets left after final expenses will go into a trust for him and he gets part at 18 and the rest at 25. 
My sons dad is really bad with money so I'm pretty particular on how much he has control over. I don't want to leave my son a large sum and his dad blow it all and leave him with nothing.
I will never understand why so many people don't have a will. Its not expensive to get one and everyone needs one even if they don't own a lot.

nappeal
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:23 AM

 All I have to do is get my will notarized...I don't want to think about dying, but I will one day, and I don't want to not have a plan for my children.

strongerwtime
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:28 AM

Ihave so much work to do in this area...but I have given it some thought...This will be the time where I will get this process going...I have a life ins policies for myself and them...but the will and the details is not written and spelled out...but certainly its a work in progress...I agree, its good to have this stuff.

strongerwtime
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:31 AM

I have to be mindful of my ex (daughters father) and these exact actions as well!  My family are so good to me and my kids...and they were good to both my ex's....my sons father I dont worry so much because his family are active in our sons life and we both support it....but the other bd...well....I feel he is more territorial...and so I just do not trust him.

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

I haven't done anything, but I am so scared of something happening to me, because I do k ow that if anything happens to me, my ex would not allow my family to be apart of their lives. I do have life insurance, and my brother is the beneficiary on it and he will be sure my kids get it, as well as my retirement.


josiahmom
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 3:33 PM

i need to do that

randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Aug. 19, 2011 at 5:04 PM

Umm, in most states, it doesn't matter what sort of documentation the mother gets that deals with where the kids go in the event of her demise, courts will automatically grant custody to the father, unless he was proven unfit, cannot be found, etc.  And of course, states that recognize abandonment and terminate his rights.

Grandparents can fight until they're blue in the face.  Dad can get the kid, he can bar maternal fam from seeing the child ever again and there is nothing legally that can be done about it.

You're only hope is to pray your ex never finds out you died. 

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