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Visitation question....

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:28 PM
  • 37 Replies

Ok so theres no court order for visitation, he has NEVER been left alone with her (shes 15 months), he has no job or car....is it MY responsibilty to drive to him everytime he wants to see her? so far hes not paying child support and i dont have the money to waste in gas. He knows where we live. so the question is it considered me keeping her from him if i refuse to drive her to him but allow him to come over if he can find a way? When and if we do go to court i dont want him to try and say i kept her from him, im just tired of always being the one to drive, he never tries to find a way here

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DDDaysh
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:29 PM

No, you would not be required to drive her to him.  However, you should also offer to meet him at a neutral place if you're worried about court. 

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:30 PM
I can't speak on legality but if you've driven her some then he should find a way to get to you some also. It's not all your responsibility to get her to him. He has to step up and do his part as well.
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KaelynnsMommy64
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:33 PM

Ive tried that, he always says "i have no way to get there" or "you have to take me". I dont want to be stuck in the same car as him and i dont think its fair that he wont even walk 2 minutes to the park but he expects me to drive out of my way to pick him up. Thank you

Quoting DDDaysh:

No, you would not be required to drive her to him.  However, you should also offer to meet him at a neutral place if you're worried about court. 


KaelynnsMommy64
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:34 PM

Thank you

Quoting Andrewsmom70:

I can't speak on legality but if you've driven her some then he should find a way to get to you some also. It's not all your responsibility to get her to him. He has to step up and do his part as well.


raegan1221
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:34 PM

I have always understood that it's dads job to come get her, and drop her off. That is how it is with my exhusband and I. That would be very annoying and tedious to constantly have to take her to him. I don't think that should be your responsibility. He should find a way.

KaelynnsMommy64
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:37 PM

i guess i should have put he will not be seeing her unless im there. He has threatned to take off with her, hes never been alone with her, hell i dont even think he knows how to take care of her since hes never done anything.

Quoting raegan1221:

I have always understood that it's dads job to come get her, and drop her off. That is how it is with my exhusband and I. That would be very annoying and tedious to constantly have to take her to him. I don't think that should be your responsibility. He should find a way.


raegan1221
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:40 PM


Quoting KaelynnsMommy64:

i guess i should have put he will not be seeing her unless im there. He has threatned to take off with her, hes never been alone with her, hell i dont even think he knows how to take care of her since hes never done anything.

Quoting raegan1221:

I have always understood that it's dads job to come get her, and drop her off. That is how it is with my exhusband and I. That would be very annoying and tedious to constantly have to take her to him. I don't think that should be your responsibility. He should find a way.

 


Im sorry, that's a really rough situation for you:(.  What about having him get a ride to your place, and that way you could supervise his visit with her for a little bit..plus he has to find his own ride? If you would be ok with that.  I know with my ex, it was super awkward and still is for us to be in the same room together..we get along, it's just awkward.

KaelynnsMommy64
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:42 PM


Quoting raegan1221:

 

Quoting KaelynnsMommy64:

i guess i should have put he will not be seeing her unless im there. He has threatned to take off with her, hes never been alone with her, hell i dont even think he knows how to take care of her since hes never done anything.

Quoting raegan1221:

I have always understood that it's dads job to come get her, and drop her off. That is how it is with my exhusband and I. That would be very annoying and tedious to constantly have to take her to him. I don't think that should be your responsibility. He should find a way.

 


Im sorry, that's a really rough situation for you:(.  What about having him get a ride to your place, and that way you could supervise his visit with her for a little bit..plus he has to find his own ride? If you would be ok with that.  I know with my ex, it was super awkward and still is for us to be in the same room together..we get along, it's just awkward.

i have NO problem with him coming here if he finds his own way. I just wasnt sure if he could say im keeping her from him if i made him come here instead of me constantly going to him. I dont mind going to him sometimes but its been a constant thing since we broke up. Thank you!

raegan1221
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:45 PM


Quoting KaelynnsMommy64:

 

Quoting raegan1221:

 

Quoting KaelynnsMommy64:

i guess i should have put he will not be seeing her unless im there. He has threatned to take off with her, hes never been alone with her, hell i dont even think he knows how to take care of her since hes never done anything.

Quoting raegan1221:

I have always understood that it's dads job to come get her, and drop her off. That is how it is with my exhusband and I. That would be very annoying and tedious to constantly have to take her to him. I don't think that should be your responsibility. He should find a way.

 


Im sorry, that's a really rough situation for you:(.  What about having him get a ride to your place, and that way you could supervise his visit with her for a little bit..plus he has to find his own ride? If you would be ok with that.  I know with my ex, it was super awkward and still is for us to be in the same room together..we get along, it's just awkward.

i have NO problem with him coming here if he finds his own way. I just wasnt sure if he could say im keeping her from him if i made him come here instead of me constantly going to him. I dont mind going to him sometimes but its been a constant thing since we broke up. Thank you!

I wouldn't think that he could say you were trying to keep her from him in that situation. I understand what you're saying now. I would even think if you could document it somehow (maybe through a text msg?) that you gave him the option to see her at your place..that way he can't come back and try and accuse you of anything. But I think you're totally doing the right thing! Good Luck! :)

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:48 PM
Tell him you'll alternate visits- him coming to you one time and you going to him the next OR you'll meet every time somewhere midway between your two homes. Otherwise, it's all on him, I'd say.

He's not contributing AT ALL to helping raise the child so it's not all on you to provide gas and wear and tear and miles to your car.

Ole boy needs to man up and take some responsibility.

You need to get papers ASAP too to cover your own a$$ and the well-being of your child.
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