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How to date right.....????

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:38 PM
  • 12 Replies

So I have a boy, 3 and girl who will be 1 in November and I feel like I am ready to start dating again. I don't know where to meet the right type of guy I am would like to date (someone who is ready to settle down), and I don't know how or when to say, "Hey I have 2 kids AND I am 21!" .... Yeah.... 21.... 
I don't like to go to clubs or partys or anything normal 21yros like to do. Although I do enjoy Karaoke........
I know not to bring guys around my kids. I acctually have  system set up with my best friend where the guy has to meet everyone else before we can even be in a relationship because I don't want to bring some loser around my kids. I was seeing this one guy for a little while but that didn't work out and I stopped talking to him, deleted his number and from my fb. He has never been around my kids and I am glad.
I just feel like I need rules or guidelines to follow when it comes to dating..... I am very reserved and modest (I know, I say that and I have 2 kids outside or marriage...)
I am just so tired of feeling so alone. Other than throwing myself into romance books, I really don't know how to escape this feeling.  

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LifeCafe42
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:48 AM
Bump I've had no luck so no help here
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MeeshMom
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:04 AM
Well since your kids are young I wouldn't jump into dating. Hang out with friends and be open to meeting new people. Do you go to church? My church has a singles group and a single parents group. Dont be so eager, just be open. I wanted to date so bad when my son was younger and failed. I'm slowing my roll now and taking things one day at a time. And I'm honest up front that I'm a single mom. If they don't like it from the start then you can easily move on. Dating sucks until you find a good man. It's better to wean out the crappy ones and take your time.
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brieri
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:26 AM

 Have as many guy friends as you like and go out with them as a friend, but nothing more.  Have fun getting to know them.. LIke the PP above, go to church you can find many singles groups there.  If you don't like one church try another til you find one you like.  Finding a church home is much like finding a guy.  Don't settle for less than what you think your loooking for.  Remember, there is no one perfect guy in all stages your looking for.

KRIZZ25
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 9:27 AM

 i would just take it slow and talk to guys .don't be in a rush just see what happens.

Sassyblueeyes
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:55 AM

BUMP!

Mommyto2LilMen
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 11:54 AM

Take it slow and don't introduce the kids until things are serious.  I would tell him about the kids right away, so it's not a surprise later!

Robsessed98
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:42 PM
agree with this

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

Take it slow and don't introduce the kids until things are serious.  I would tell him about the kids right away, so it's not a surprise later!

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beti78
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:21 PM

This is good advice. I am actually in the same situation. Recently separated from H, have a 5 & 3 yr old. I am ready to date! I should specify not interested in a serious relationship just someone to converse with, go out to dinner, movies, just hang out.

Thanks for the post and thanks for the adivce ladies!

cadeesmommy0120
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:22 PM

 Me too.

Quoting Robsessed98:

agree with this

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

Take it slow and don't introduce the kids until things are serious.  I would tell him about the kids right away, so it's not a surprise later!

 

rebmarie90
by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 11:30 PM

Thanks everyone! Ya'll are right. I think I was just in a weak moment because of what happened with the guy was seeing and because my ex is already on his second gf. Not that that is an acomplishment, its just that feeling of being "alone" and wanting to show him I can do better and I know I shouldn't rush because then I really wont find better and it will just be awful. 
Thanks everyone!  

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