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wtf?? are men really this cruel? needing advice

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:03 PM
  • 13 Replies

 So im needing some advice or maybe some words of encourgement idk something.... I found out I was pregnant 1 week after my ex broke up with me.. I told him about it and since then I have recieved numerous threats and horrible suggestions that I have an abortion all coming from his new girl friend ( who was only with him for 1 week when I told him the news and a month and a half now!! ) the threats continue from her but Ive grown used to them now and ignore them.. anyways last thrusday he comes to my house and begs me to take him back and in tears he tells me how sorry he is for the way he and his new whore have treated me . and that he wants to be there for me and for his baby and that he wants to grow old with me he said he loved me and would forever and ever and he would never leave me alone again... well it is now wed of the following week and I have once again become none exsistent in his life and Im almost certian hes back with her again.. and back to ignoreing the fact that he has a baby on the way... I just dont understand how anyone can be so cruel and mean. I believed him when he told me he loved me.. and now I just dont know??  One of the other things he said was that he was done with her and he was only being nice to her so she would drop some kind of charge she had agaisnt him ( something like a stalking charge and a tresspassing charge.. when they lived together.. how can you stalk someone if you live with them??? Im telling you shes the craziest chick Ive ever incountered!!) anyways I dont know if this is some sort of plan he has to get those charges dropped or what hes thinking? maybe hes just an ass and Im just searching for kind of peace of mind about how I was fooled so easily.. thats so not like me... to be fooled... Idk what do you think?  should  I believe him about wanting to be there for me and his baby or  what should I do? what would tyou do? 

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by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:03 PM
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angelinanunn
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:16 PM
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Personally, I wouldn't believe that he would actually be there for you and the baby. He is already showing signs that he isn't going to be there for you. My best advice, don't count on him being there or helping in anyway. Make your plans and choices accordingly. That way when he isn't there you are already prepared for it. But I would give him a chance to be part of your baby's life, that way he can't blame you for keeping him away from his child. Also document everything you possibly can. If you invite him to doctors appointments send it in a text or email and hang on to them. If he comes to the appointment send a brief text thanking him for showing up. Also keep anything that shows that he isn't making an effort to come with you. If he gives you any money document how much he gave you, when, the form (cash, check, money order, account transfer, ect), and what the money was used for. So if he ever trys to say but I gave her $200 and she blew it on expensive cloths and shoes, you can prove later that the money either was or was not used for what he said. When the baby is born, if you contact him ablout coming to visit the baby make sure you document the times he shows up and the times he doesn't and the excuses he gives when he doesn't come. It will help you in the long run. Good luck!!

KRIZZ25
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:17 PM

 wow..sounds like u need to not get involved wth him ..if he will do that wth u he will do it wth ur child..as for her every time u calls u,emails what ever keep em..take em to court and press charges..if he comes back tell hem he is full of shit and no ..he is just using u for place to live and ass..if he does it once he will do it Agna ..and wen the kid comes go after cs.. don't let him walk all over u ..stand up for ur self ,child..

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:21 PM
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Let her have him, or let anyone else have him.  He sounds like he is worth his weight in tar.  Be glad he's gone, when the baby is born, go to court and file for child support.  If you have proof of the threats the girlfriend has made against you, go to court and file for a restraining order against her.  When the baby is born, amend the RO to include the baby.

photogal831
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:29 PM
1 mom liked this

the way I see it is...if he really wanted to be there for the baby and be with you...he would, no excuses...it obviously is not that important to him (unfortunately) and yes guys are that cruel. I'm sorry you're going through this! I hope things get better for you...or at least calm down, you really don't need all that crazy in your life

KailesMommy
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 I wouldn't believe what he says. He is more than likely full of shit! I'm sorry your going through that. But if you have saved those texts messages or any way that she has threatened you, I would take it to the police and get a PPO on her just to keep your self and the baby safe through all this. Even if its bullshit about the threats and all but you need to be carefull. Welcome to the group and congrats on the bundle of joy!

unexpectedhope
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 1:48 PM

thanks everyone... I know your right and I should just forget about him and not believe a word he says.. its just so beyond me that someone could say things as intense as what he said and not mean it in any way oh well what an ass.. I am going to go after him for child support as soon as the baby is born and I dont plan on trying to keep him from his baby in any way but I have a feeling that hes not going to care that the babys even there.. and I think that in the long run if he does come into the babys life and pretends like he cares when it suits him its going to hurt the baby just like it has me. and I dont want that.. I just hope one day he pulls his head out of his butt and becomes a man.. just like praying for world peace right? lol everyone wants it but who knows if it will ever happen

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emilyvb
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:09 PM

forget him! i know how hard it is to be pregnant and alone, but when you see your babys face for the fisrt time that is all you will need! if he's a shit dad what is the likelyhood of a girl being serious about him? would YOU date a deadbeat father??/

lovinlife13
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this
He sounds just like my ex. He will come running back to me when things aren't going his way. And attempt to fill my head with all the things he knows I want to hear. As hard as its going to be just cut our losses and let him go. If he wants to be involved with your child, more power to him, but you will have to learn to let what he says go in one ear and out the other so that he can't manipulate you by pulling on your heart strings. (((Hugs)))

Quoting unexpectedhope:

thanks everyone... I know your right and I should just forget about him and not believe a word he says.. its just so beyond me that someone could say things as intense as what he said and not mean it in any way oh well what an ass.. I am going to go after him for child support as soon as the baby is born and I dont plan on trying to keep him from his baby in any way but I have a feeling that hes not going to care that the babys even there.. and I think that in the long run if he does come into the babys life and pretends like he cares when it suits him its going to hurt the baby just like it has me. and I dont want that.. I just hope one day he pulls his head out of his butt and becomes a man.. just like praying for world peace right? lol everyone wants it but who knows if it will ever happen

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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:16 PM
Yes, its very common for men to be less than thrilled w an unplanned pregnancy from a woman they are no longer with. Men don't bond to pregnancy, especially if they aren't around you. It is mean to say he wants nothing to do w it but its life. Sometimes they change their mind.

As far as the threats. I would have told her the first time that she nver threaten me again, or the police would be notified. And followed through.
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MeeshMom
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:47 PM
1 mom liked this
If she contacts you, tell her to stop and leave you alone. Keep all records of things she says and file a restraining/ no contact order! Your baby's father will see that this chick will interfere with him seeing his child. You need to take action now. Call the sheriff!
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