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Need advise from mothers of bi racial children

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:27 PM
  • 31 Replies

 I am pregnant with my first baby and my baby is bi racial. The father refuses to step up and therefore will be signing his rights over.

I need advice on how to raise a chlild alone and teach him/her about both cultures and ensure he/she doesnt feel "different"

I know it is nessicary to have a strong women and man of the other race in my babies life so they have someone to turn to when they want to embrace the other culture.

But how do you relate to your child if they say " Mommy why do I look different, or mommy I feel different?"

 

Any suggestions would help!

 Thanks

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:42 PM
4 moms liked this

First, don't go for the "I'm signing my rights over", that doesn't work, its not legal unless you have someone who is willing to step up and adopt the child. 

What race is the father of the child?  There are so many bi-racial children now adays that it is not worth making a big deal over.  My 4 are quad-racial if you really get down to it, Irish-German-Mexican-Indian.  How do I raise them?  They are Americans, we all are and I raise them as Americans.  A strong man/woman of their culture is not necessary, a strong parent is what a child needs.

lilbit53009
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:46 PM

being bi racial is so normal now that i don't even think they will question it. one of my best friends is white and her sons father is black.  he lives in another state and she never sees him or really talks to him anymore and her son has never questioned anything.

ArianasMama2007
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:50 PM
I've yet to have any issues with how my child identifies her self or others as far as race and her father is not and has never been involved, if you ask her she will tell you she is black white and puerto rican, she has friends of all races as do I so she's grown up knowing everyone is different and beautiful in different ways, she's only 4 but she seems to understand things fine so far
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ArianasMama2007
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:51 PM
1 mom liked this
There is a group on here for mother's of biracial children btw
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Jurneesmommy
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 3:53 PM
2 moms liked this
I am not the mother of a bi-racial child, but I will say your child will only feel that he or she is different if he or she is treated differently. Try not to focus on race so much and focus on raising a happy, healthy baby. If you are strong and you give your baby a nurturing, stable environment and not let daddy stir up drama... Everything else will fall in line. Hang in there!
lovinlife13
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 4:10 PM
I am bi racial and my dd is multi racial( 1/2 hispanic, 1/4 black,1/4 white) I never had idenity issues growing and its so common place now that its probably going to be even easier for our children. I think
as long as we are strong as mothers, it wont matter if they have a role model of each race. We should teach our children to identify themselves just as people and not by the color of their skin.
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AUNTIEG73
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 4:35 PM

My son is bi racial(1/2 Indian 1/2 black).He has always asked questions about his race-he's inquisitive.I just answer to the best of my ability and anything I don't know about his fathers culture-we look up.The internet is a great tool.You may not be able to answer all of your childs questions,but as long as you address them all honestly there should be no major issues.

idomatter
by Bronze Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 4:56 PM


Quoting Jurneesmommy:

I am not the mother of a bi-racial child, but I will say your child will only feel that he or she is different if he or she is treated differently. Try not to focus on race so much and focus on raising a happy, healthy baby. If you are strong and you give your baby a nurturing, stable environment and not let daddy stir up drama... Everything else will fall in line. Hang in there!


Congratulations on your pregnancy! I think this response hits the nail on the head. I am a child of a caucasian man and latina woman; my ex husband was the child of a black man and caucasian woman. We have two sons together and trust me, race is not the focus nor is the various shades of color our family has.

My son actually made up his own word to call us "whites"; he says we are clear! And Grandpops is dark. We don't say black, white, hispanic, whatever but he knows his dad's gf is black and she has black kids. He knows we speak both English and Spanish in our home and Grandma's home.

Don't focus on it, and you might just end up raising a human being!

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:07 PM
Don't you have any friends of the that race? I am white and my kids are biracial white and Mexican. To be quite honest, I grew up in cali and my kids are around no shortage of Mexican ppl. I never even really tripped on it.
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single_and_preg
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 5:08 PM

I dont think its important to teach about both "cultures" Im not even sure what you mean, like races arent in a different culture, they are just about all the same.

My son is black/white, he looks mainly white though. He's never seen his father, but he has seen his fathers parents, and spent the night with them a few times... and he's never asked why are they black or anything.

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