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I still want him

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2007 at 10:44 AM
  • 12 Replies
Ok so me and my babys daddy live together but he says he doesn't want to be with me so we are not together. Now I am about 6 months and the whole time wwe have been doing what we do and living together but like I said not together. Now I don't think he wants to do anything with me anymore. I think he thinks it gives me the wrong idea about us because he knows I love him with all of my heart. SO ok how do I get over him not wanting me anymore? Or how do I get him to be like we were? Should I even care? I feel so alone.
by on Nov. 20, 2007 at 10:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TristiansMommy
by on Nov. 20, 2007 at 10:49 AM
Well first if he doesnt want to be with you you shouldnt be living together, i am in the same boat my sons father doesnt want to be with me but always throws hints he does but says he doesnt, our son is 6mos old and we havent been together since i was 6mos pregnant. I love him with all my heart and want us to be together but i dont no if it will ever happen. Even is it doesnt i need to move on and its hard to do it knowing you cant just say goodbye and never communicate with him again. He is in ur life forever, but the only way your gonna get over him is try to do it on your own and let him do you. Dont live together!

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lawyergirl2012
by on Nov. 20, 2007 at 10:52 AM
He needs to move out!!!!!!!  You shouldn't be living together if you are not together, because that just drags things on and makes letting go harder.
charmed241
by on Nov. 20, 2007 at 11:04 AM
But how do you tell the man you love to move out? I feel like it is killing me but at least I know what he is doing. When he leaves and if he does move out I am afraid when my our child gets older she will mentally have to choose which parent she wants and I don't want to do that to her.  I know in my heart of heart he should go but at least when the baby gets here I won't have to work he takes care of the bills. I just know he will never be will me I wish I was wrong.
elvir2babes
by on Nov. 20, 2007 at 11:08 AM
This is a very weird situation. Sounds like he is using you for sex only.


maxsmom676
by on Nov. 20, 2007 at 11:48 AM
My son's father and I live together. We broke up before my son was born. We moved in together mostly for financial reasons. We have seperate rooms and we haven't slept together (nor will we ever). It actually works out well because we still get along really well.

Our situation sounds a little different than yours though, if I was still in love with my son's father, I wouldn't be able to live with him if we weren't together.
VanessaM1979
by on Nov. 21, 2007 at 12:46 PM

My honest advices...RUN! If you are 6months pregnant and he wants out,  do not force him into this and get his name on the birth certificate, you are the only one who will pay for it. If he is wanting out now, it is only a sign of things to come. He will still leave later, Only difference is now, he has no rights the baby inside you until he sign that certificate. He'll still leave and then you have to deal with his junk-not paying child support, not taking the baby for his visitation when he is supposed to, making you stick to your end of the bargon and then not helping, not to mention the things you can't foresee; neglect, abuse, etc.

I realize that maybe I'm a little sarcastic of men in this position, but if he wants out, it may be a blessing in disguise. If he doesn't want the responsibility now before the baby is here, just let him go. It will hurt like the dickens, but let him go.

Second, go to your family and ask their opinion. Generally our parents know what they are talking about. Be honest and forthcoming, vulnerable and out there when you go to them. If you are not honest with them, they do not know how to advice you correctly and can not help you like you really need. You have to swallow a little pride and get help. You can not do this on your own, but you do not want your boyfriends help. Trust me.

pregw4
by on Nov. 21, 2007 at 7:25 PM

There'sa saying that goes if a man doesn't want you nothing can make him stay but if he does nothing can make him go away. It sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I understand you love him and you probably always will especially if you have a child with him but is that the typeof situation you want to be in? If there is instability in your relationship, how much good can it be for you and your kids. If he can't or won't make up his mind then you are only prolonging the inevitable and it'll be that much harder to move on.  I'm kind of in a similar situation, my ex has alot of issues to work out, he says he loves me and we were living together but he has been spending time with other women ( we just broke up Nov. 9) so I'm giving him a really hard time. I now think that I am pregnant and he wants us to get married but I don't think thats a good idea. I just think love is an action and a man can tell you he loves you all day everyday but if his actions are not consistent with his words then thats a really big problem. He is no longer staying here but I still see him and talk to him, but i will not have sex with him and I have stopped making myself so available. It's been hard but hopefully it will be worth it because if we get back together it will be on my terms.

PhillyMama2585
by on Nov. 21, 2007 at 7:32 PM
If you have somewhere to go i could porb concider moving out. It might make you feel alittle  and help with the moving on process!

*Jenna*


carlajewel2005
by on Nov. 21, 2007 at 7:53 PM

The only way to get over him is for one of you to move out. Living together is only making this already bad situation worse. As long as you two are under the same roof you'll hold on to the feeling of you might possibluy be able to get back together, and that probably isn't going to happen. Once you aren't living together you'll be able to move on in time and possibly find someone better to take his place.

2Ace4U
by on Nov. 21, 2007 at 7:56 PM

Quoting maxsmom676:

My son's father and I live together. We broke up before my son was born. We moved in together mostly for financial reasons. We have seperate rooms and we haven't slept together (nor will we ever). It actually works out well because we still get along really well.

Our situation sounds a little different than yours though, if I was still in love with my son's father, I wouldn't be able to live with him if we weren't together.


How wonderful for the two of you to have that relationship for your child and to be able to coexist.  Kudos to the two of you, I don't know if I could do it.
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